im Page 824 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bill Simmons Shapes Young Minds
The Sports Fella recommended one young reader attend Dartmouth over Princeton (via his ever-popular "Mail Bag"). Amazingly, the young lad listened to him. Yep, this is our next generation. [IvyGate]...
Follow Me (Very Slowly) To Freedom
114-pound tortoise makes a break for it, flees the circus. He was later found on a golf course two miles away, still running. It took him six days. [AP]...
Look Ma, No Hands
Chinese police stopped this man for driving a motorcycle without a license. Unlike most police stops, they didn't have to worry about whether the suspect was armed. [Ananova]...
And By Fix Your TV, I Mean Have Sex With You
High school baseball coach busted for soliciting a prostitute, tells police he was just there to repair her television. Bonus: award winning mugshot! [St. Pete Times]...
Autopsy Concludes Gatti Is Dead, Little Else
Just when you thought a retired athlete could be killed by by a scorned paramour, and that would be the end of the story, comes a report out of Brazil that answers no questions, but generates plenty of new headlines....
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....
So What Were You Doing At Age 17?
Zac Sunderland is a 17-year-old California beach bum with shoulder-length locks and fears of conformity. So he's Jimmy Clausen, except he sailed around the world by himself. Winning in Touchdown Jesus' shadow? Try navigating away from pirates, dude....
William Ligue's Son Still Proud He Beat Up That First Base Coach
They say it's important to live without regret. And one thing Young Bill Ligue does not regret is thrashing an old man on the field at Comiskey Park when he was 15. You just can't manufacture those kinds of memories....
Adam Jones "Makin' It Rain": The Video (NSFW)
We compared the Las Vegas Journal Review's massive feature on the Minxx strip club incident to the Warren Report, but now we finally have the Zapruder Film. Video (that's probably not safe work) of Adam "Pacman" Jones making it rain....
The Say Hey Kid, In: The Mystery Of The Gay Porn On Air Force One
A Reuters fotog captured this image of Willie Mays's flight on Air Force One, complete with what appears to be three naked men on television. Just what is going on here?...
They Call Him MISTER Pig
Because Deadspin hasn't nearly covered Furries enough this month (exhibits A and B), here's Green Bay's Nick Barnett with some new friends. [Twitter, via reader Tim]...
It Could Have Been More Embarrassing. It Could Have Been A Lane Bryant
Former NHL enforcer Chris "Knuckles" Nilan busted for stealing a swimsuit from Lord & Taylor. Actual quote: "I just wanted to save a few bucks." [Patriot Ledger]...
North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
The presumptive heir to North Korean crazy person Kim Jong Il and all his crappy missiles is a brooding 26-year-old who apparently loves basketball in general and a certain Croatian point-forward in particular....
Ichiro Creeps Out Newest Tickle Buddy
Ichiro was stereotyped as a meticulous robot, but would a cyborg tell Jason Bay, in Japanese, that he was going to "mess with your house"? Bay's response: "I didn't know what to say. It was weird." Safe word! [WEEI]...
It's Not Officially A No-Hitter Until You Drink With A Panda
Some might tell you that Jonathan Sanchez's good luck charm was his father watching him pitch for the first time as a pro. Those people are about to learn of the Power of the Panda....
Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else
Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...
Oddsmakers Like Obama's Chances Of Not Humiliating Himself Tonight
Bodog is taking prop bets on whether the president will bounce his first pitch at the All-Star Game and thus send his country spiraling into a Depression or something. At present, the moneyline's liking Obama's arm:...
Journeyman Wide Receivers Make You Question Your Mortality
Derrick Mason retired yesterday. He is my favorite Spartan football player of all time. We both graduated from Michigan State in the same year. He had a productive 12-year NFL career. I do this....
At Least He Won His Old Man's Respect
The baseball field, Turgenev once wrote, is a sacred bonding ground for fathers and sons. And what's bonding if it's not daring your son to sprint across the infield of a minor league ballpark? Visiting him in juvi, maybe....
The Creepy Photo Of The Bloody Purse Strap (Allegedly) Used To Choke Arturo Gatti
This falls in line with what the police say happened that night, although Gatti's wife claims she's not guilty.[YBB]...