im Page 829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....

Pointless Sunday Gallery: When In Doubt, Lead With Roy Hobbs
Barbecue, La-Z-Boys, dessert, good fathers, seminal moments in pop culture and really, really dreadful fathers. It's the Father's Day edition of Pointless Sunday Gallery. Except this time, it has a point. Sort of?...

What We Learned About The 2009 Wimbledon Champion
"Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer," Philippe Bouin tells Cynthia Gorney of The New York Times Magazine for this week's cover story. "But every man wants to be Rafael Nadal. Which is different."...

Wimbledon 2009 Is Very, Very Tape-Delayed
Get those bets in, because even though Wimbledon hasn't started yet, ESPN already knows who won. Doesn't matter if one of their projected winners isn't actually playing. Just trust them. TWWL is good like that. [ESPN]...

Eli and Peyton Enjoy Synchronized Concert-going
The Manning brothers were at Irving Plaza last night rocking out to some Better Than Ezra with the normal folks. Unlike normal folks, they did it in matching bad-ass blazers....

Giants Stadium Demolition and the Hunt for Hoffa
With Giants Stadium scheduled to be torn down next year, authorities could have the opportunity to see if Jimmy Hoffa really is buried under the turf. Turns out they don't plan on finding out....

Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....

The One Where Tim Legler Fields A Wacky Drinking Team
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another...

Mama, There Goes That Man ... To Minnesota
"Multiple sources have told Pro Basketball News that Mark Jackson has emerged as the leading candidate for the [Timberwolves] position and will wind up with his first coaching gig." Some would call this a grown-man move. [Pro Basketball News]...

All Kobe Bryant and LeBron James Got Were These Lousy T-Shirts
TMZ on LeBron's "egotistical" shirt: "For the record—you won't see Kobe Bryant wearing a shirt with his individual accomplishments plastered on the front of it during his championship parade today." Wanna see what Kobe wore to the parade?...

$1.5 Billion Doesn't Go As Far As You Think
Martellus Bennett takes you on an informative and possibly racist (just against the Chinese, though) tour of the new Cowboys stadium. Hope you like $14 BBQ sandwiches, Dallas fans! Someone has to pay for those video screens. [MartyBTV]...

Deadspin Classic: The O.J. Chase
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The 15th anniversary of "The Chase."...

The Great Kevin McHale Experiment Is Over In Minnesota
After 15 seasons running the Timberwolves, Kevin McHale's services will no longer be needed. (According only to Kevin Love's Twitter? Jeebus.) Man, just eight or nine more years and I think he would have had it. [Pioneer Press; SportsBank]...

Detroit Just Can't Catch A Break
A Game 7 loss, a series dropped to the Pirates, now Bill Laimbeer—the greatest coach in WNBA history!—is stepping down. He will be replaced by Rick Mahorn, who will eventually be replaced by Chuck Nevitt. [Free Press]...

Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
Even if your cable package went out last night, you've probably heard about the rather tepid debut of "Joe Buck Live." Tepid, until Howard Stern joke monkey Artie Lange destroyed everything Joe Buck holds dear on live television....

Cocaine, Bunny Rape And Lyndon LaRouche: A Children's Treasury Of Tall Tales From Pro Wrestling
Here's your reading material for tonight: "The Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling!" — all 460 of them. If you thought pro wrestling was a wholesome endeavor whose practitioners did not enjoy stuffing the Medellín Cartel up their nostrils, think again....

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

Michael Phelps' Life Is A Whimsical Morality Tale
Michael Phelps has "written" a children's book called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Life lessons include strip club tipping etiquette and when to check-raise on Jacks or better before the flop. [Canadian Press]...

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....

Simona Halep's Spanish Fans Form Facebook Group To Save Her "Pupus"
I have no idea what "pupus" are, but something tells me it has nothing to do with her ground stroke. [Facebook via Salir a Ganar/PHOTO: Tennisrulz/StephaneMartinache]...