im Page 836 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Your General Housekeeping DUAN (N)
Some things of varying importance that need to be addressed. So DUAN seems the most appropriate post to do so since I've already lost your attention until tomorrow morning. It's time to purge....

What It's Like To Get Fired In The Press Box
Last week, The Big Lead reported about some of the layoffs at the Baltimore Sun. One of the reporters who was fired, David Steele, recounts his personal trauma for Real Clear Sports....

Local Baby Unimpressed By Heisman Winner's Wristband Collection
Legend says that anyone who touches Tim Tebow before their first birthday gets free tuition at Florida. More notable: Tebow is wearing seven inspirational wristbands (and a rubber band)! Live strong, indeed. [The Smiths]...

Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....

Royals Broadcaster Somehow Duped On-Air By Food Network Impersonator
Guy Fieri, the Food Network personality always in search of America's best chili dog waffle burgers was in the stands at the Royals game last night. Wait — no he wasn't. [Kansas City.com]...

Vanity Fair Loves To Let The Famous Ladies Of Popular Quarterbacks Speak Honestly
Last month it was Gisele. This month? Jessica Simpson: "Before a game, I'm crazed, sending mass e-mails: ‘Please pray for Tony's protection.'" This poor guy. [VF.com]...

The $69 "Price Is Right" For Gynecologist Steelers Fan
Ladies of Pittsburgh—if you're looking for a new doctor to take care of your unmentionable parts, may I suggest not choosing the crazy Steelers fan who made a $69 bid on "The Price Is Right."...

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

The Best Gif You Will See Today
Via SKEETS comes this animated gif of Mike Tyson taking on his greatest foe. It is nothing short of sublime. [YTMND]...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

ESPN Loves This Sort Of Free Publicity
Florida educator Thomas McCoy was suspended from his job because " he was cruising ESPN.com" while two special needs students "went behind a bookshelf and one performed a sex act on the other." [Naples News]...

Dan Quinn, MMA Fighter/Professional Lunatic, Returns With Another Hilariously Terrifying YouTube Message
Slap on the headphones if you’re at work and brace yourself for more nonsensical trash-talk wizardry. Not Safe For Workish. [VideoGum]...

Depressing Autographed Seat Cushion Is The Only Thing That Remains Of Stephen A.'s Career
I saw this this ungodly little tchotchke at Standings Bar in the East Village, one of the best places to watch sporting events in NYC. I tried to buy it for $40. The owner refused....

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

L. Jon Wertheim Tells The Ultimate ‘Sheed/Isaiah Rider Story
We got two excellent stories out of this week's Deadcast guest: Sports Illustrated writer L. Jon Wertheim....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

The TeeBow Will Be In All The Ladies' Pants This Fall
I don't even want to contemplate the number of licensing agreements that are being violated here, but Tim Tebow-inspired ladies underwear is now available. I hear they come pre-soaked. (Sorry.) [TeeBows; via Deuce of Davenport]...

Softball Season Brings Out The Best And Worst In Everyone
A good portion of New Yorkers join softball leagues for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....