im Page 855 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Contentious Media Dork Calls Bill Simmons a "Jock Washer"
Throughout Bill Simmons ongoing mysterious Andy Dufresne saga with the WWL over his podcast, his NFL Picks column, and his treatment at Page 2, his thinly-veiled digs have, for the most part, only been scrutinized by the sports media watchers fascinated by the Sports Fella's every move.(Myself inclu...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you fail your interview at the White House ... • College Football: Virginia Tech Hokies at Miami Hurricanes (7:30 p.m., ET) Something's gotta give. It might be my La-Z-Boy. [ESPN] • MLS: East Conference Final: Chicago Fire at Columbus Crew (7:30 p.m., ET) Oh, I just bought a new ...

Peter Boulware Finds Things A Bit Different In This School Of Hard Knocks
This time Peter Boulware got to play some offense. The results were less than satisfactory, however, as the former Baltimore Ravens linebacker came up just short in his quest to win a seat in the Florida state House of Representatives on Nov 4. Final score: Michelle Rehwinkle Vasilinda 48.6 percent,...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you move on with your life after politics ... • College Football: Central Michigan Chippewas at Northern Illinois Huskies (8:00 p.m., ET) Fire up, Chips! [ESPN2] • NBA: Doubleheader: Portland Trail Blazers at Miami Heat (8:00 p.m., ET); Houston Rockets at Phoenix Suns (10:30 p.m....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get choked up over a damn space robot ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Miami Red Hawks (7:00 p.m., ET) I still think PCs are better than MACs. [ESPN2] • Cards: World Series Of Poker, Final Table (9:00 p.m., ET) I wonder who wins? [ESPN] • Movie: "Midway" (8:00 ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you try in vain to return that broken eyePod ... • NCAA Basketball: Presbyterian Blue Hose at Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Devils vs. an entire religion? I like those odds. [ESPNU] • NFL: Monday Night Football: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (8:30 p.m., ET) Pro foot...

Five Holes-In-One In One Week: Shenanigans?
My grandpa averaged about two rounds of golf a week for close to thirty years and one time, when he was in his late sixties, he finally nailed a hole-in-one. It was a pretty big deal, as most things are when you wait most of your adult life for them to happen. He got a trophy and everything. So it's...

Alabama-LSU: A Friendly Game Of Murder
What a game, huh!? The No. 1 team in the country was taken to overtime on Saturday, the atmosphere was electric, clothes were burned and everyone had a good old SEC time! Well, except for a couple of LSU fans who maybe got a little too carried away by the emotions of the day and ended up the victims...

Offer LSU Kids Free Beer And They'll Burn Anything
On Saturday we posted about LSU fans burning Nick Saban in effigy, which seemed rather hateful and extreme, even for them. Turns out, though, that it was all a promotion for a Baton Rouge condominium company, which provided free food and beer for the students to show up. Corporate schmucks promote h...

Speedo's Olympic Success Leads to Financial Dilemma for Universities
The theory of trickle-down economics got an Urban Dictionary-style redefinition after the Summer Olympics in August after watching approximately 312,847,708 world records mutilated in the Water Cube, thanks in large part to wearing new LZR Racer suits from Speedo. Now, of course, collegiate and high...

Have You Burned Your Former Head Coach In Effigy Lately?
We didn't get to this yesterday, but anything involves college students and fire is usually good copy for the next day. Some of the LSU peeps got together for what looked like a bonfire with a set of clothes as a centerpiece. But it was actually a burning in effigy of former LSU head coach Nick Saba...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you waste the rest of your day rolling fake dice ... • NBA: Miami Heat at San Antonio Spurs (8:00 p.m., ET) Who is your favorite Hot? [ESPN] • College Football: Nevada Wolf Pack at Fresno State Bulldogs (9:00 p.m., ET) So it's like a ... dog fight? [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas Mavericks...

Gator Chomp: Drunken Florida Chick Gets Bitey, Is Thrown In Hoosegow
Meet Veronica Hairston, frequent motel guest and passionate Florida Gators fan. Yep, that's a temporary Gators tattoo on her cheek there. On Saturday Hairston and her husband were enjoying the Florida-Georgia game at a Neptune Beach Day's Inn when things got out of hand. As Florida began putting the...

If They've Named It 'The Cage Of Death,' You Know It's Safe
There are many times in life when you're justified in saying 'I'm not getting in there.' The Raiders' Black Hole immediately comes to mind, as do the restrooms at Ralph Wilson Stadium. And I've also pretty much made it a rule never to allow myself to be submerged amongst enormous, hungry crocodiles;...

Well, They're Back To Square One With The Old Folks Home Flasher Case
Former sprint champion Mark Walcott was cleared on Thursday of charges that he exposed himself five times at two old folks homes in Britain, but at what cost? During the trial it was revealed that Walcott was having affairs with two women at the same time, both of whom were hauled into court to prov...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you "accidentally" steal someone's car ... • College Football: Maryland Terrapins at Virginia Tech Hokies (7:30 p.m., ET) Something is definitely hokey here. [ESPN] • College Football: TCU Horned Frogs at Utah Utes (8:00 p.m., ET) Great horny toads! [CBS College Sports No one get...

Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug
That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and ...

Going For Gold At The Peasant Olympics
You didn't think that China spent $500 million of our hard-earned mortgage debt on the Bird's Nest just so some namby pamby athletes could run around inside it for two weeks and then let it sit empty, did you? There are plenty of other athletic contests that can be held there. Like the popular and e...

Gimme The Damn Drapes!
Keyshawn Johnson's post-NFL career as an ESPN analyst has established him as a compelling on-air personality. Television producers have noticed, and now the loudmouth former receiver with the sartorial flair is taking his eye for interior design to the people — and basic cable. In one of the wackies...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you find a plus-size woman (around the clock) ... • College Football: Northern Illinois Huskies at Ball State Cardinals (8:00 p.m., ET) I think a win here definitely moves BSU past Penn State. [ESPN2] • NBA: Chicago Bulls at Cleveland Cavaliers (8:00 p.m., ET) What do you think C...