im Page 893 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Children Are Here Merely For Our Amusement
Tired of the sluggish, plodding nature of regular sumo wrestling? Worry not! Now you can combine all the fun of regular sumo wrestling with the nimble, lithe movements of newborn babies!...
Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
If He's Half As Crazy As Joey Porter, The Steelers Drafted Well
With the 15th pick in the NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
PETA Not Particularly Big Fans Of Our Man Vick
Some more blowback from the Ron Mexico dogfighting story from yesterday: PETA is calling for him to be released from the team if the allegations are proven true....
"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"
According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:...
Curt Schilling Accused Of Being Self-Aggrandizing. Really.
We're not sure it matters, ultimately, whether or not Curt Schilling, as Gary Thorne famously (and obliviously) claimed last evening, actually painted blood on his sock in the 2004 World Series. We don't think he did, and his performance was rather amazing either way, but Schilling has always seemed...
The Orioles Get Their Mike Cooper And Carl Monday On
So the Orioles — yes, the Orioles — are off to a blistering start in the American League East, and the explanation can not be found in Leo Mazzone or Erik Bedard. It's in the mustache!...
Alex Rodriguez Trying To Steal Jeter's Boyfriends
So everyone's all in love with A-Rod again, considering he's the only thing keeping the frayed Yankees even competitive right now — the Yankees are under .500! Head for the hills! — and he's smacking the ball around every stadium like he just knows it's April. But he's not just trying to help himsel...
They Have A Love For Nick Saban That I Can't Comprehend
Fifty-one thousand is a lot of people to show up to a college football scrimmage, and before yesterday, that was the all-time Alabama record. But you add the magnetic appeal of Nick Saban to the mix ... and all the sudden, 51,000 seems paltry. Nasty Nick drew over 92,000 people to his first spring g...
Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Charlie Manuel Do Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Time Once Again To Play The Mark Trail Drinking Game
Somewhere out west — we think it may be Idaho — is a land where the native fish are frisky and plentiful; and occasionally leap from the stream to blurt out answers to mysteries....
The Golf Horror Film You've All Been Waiting For
In the grand tradition of The Catcher — three strikes ... you're dead — comes Sports By Brooks' discovery of a film currently hitting the festival circuit seeing funding: Slice. Yep: It's a slasher movie about golf. It also has a decidedly inferior tagline: "It's a game you'll play for the rest of y...
Tim Duncan Has Been Ejected For Being Amused
NBA ref Joey Crawford must've woken up this morning under the mistaken impression that Tim Duncan was Rasheed Wallace. Crawford gave Duncan one technical as Duncan questioned a call while sitting on the bench....
Cleveland's Wacky Home Game In Milwaukee
As you know, thanks to all the freaking snow in Cleveland, the Indians "hosted" the Angels in Milwaukee yesterday, and Indians fans Mistake By The Lake were there. It was a bizarre afternoon all around, with the scoreboard showing Cleveland news headlines, a misplaced sausage race and, most amusingl...
The Dysfunctional Family Circus Lives
To wash the taste of The Ladies takeover of Kissing Suzy Kolber yesterday out of their proverbial gullets, the gang at KSK brought one of our favorite (if derivative) gimmicks out of mothballs today: the Family Circus NFL riffs...
A Place Where Amaker Can Make A Difference For Underprivileged Kids
You know, it seems strange to think about now, but when Tommy Amaker was initially hired by Michigan, many people thought it was just the move to bring the Wolverines back to national prominence. We know now that it was exactly the move to turn the team into the NIT Terrorizing Force that it has bec...
Naked Swimmers Dancing
When you're a swimmer at the University of South Carolina, we suspect life can become boring from time to time. Therefore, one must streak!...
More Fun On The Imus Apology Tour
Of all the reaction to Don Imus' unfortunate verbal stylings recently, our favorite so far has to be from Cal professor Harry Edwards, who said "He touched every hot rail." Indeed, Imus scored that rare insult trifecta that you rarely hear on talk radio, as he degraded women, blacks and people with ...
Who's Sorry Now? Old Leatherface Edition
Does WFAN have an ombudsman? Because someone needs to tell the network to place Don Imus in a block of ice and shove him toward Greenland, where he can be unfrozen sometime in the future when they figure out a cure for old. Why was Imus racially taunting the Rutgers basketball team again? Not even h...