im Page 907 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Harrick: My Life On The D-List
We know you've been worried, but you may now relax your troubled brow; Jim Harrick is coaching again. The 67-year-old Harrick, who was fired at UCLA for falsifying expense reports, and fired at the University of Georgia for various recruiting scandals (for which the Bulldogs are still on probation),...
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
When we first saw this, we thought it was an Onion headline. But no, it's for real; Fifa Urges Mexico Coach To Try Nicotine Patch. Ha. Evidently FIFA is a bit miffed that Mexico coach Ricardo Lavolpe lit up a couple of Camels on the sideline during Mexico's 3-1 win over Iran in the World Cup. That's...
One Last Word On Grimsley ... For Now
Well, it's been a fun weekend around these parts, with our sudden popularity on Kansas City talk radio and our father's concerned, confused "The man on the radio says you said Albert Pujols did steroids. Did you say that, Will?" (No, Dad, we didn't. What did we tell you about sports talk radio, Dad?...
In This Case, We Have Quite Enough Cowbell, Thank You
I wasn't lucky enough to see the World Cup's opening ceremonies yesterday, but according to The Sun Online, I missed a hell of a show. The three-paragraph article uses the words "dingalings," "dongers," and "clangers." It's so rare that you see that in any of our newspapers, and I think that's the...
KC Trainer Responds, Denies Affidavit Cameo
OK, probably time for a Jason Grimsley update....
Hey, Hey, Hey, It's The World Cup!
Just to get us all into a World Cup kind of mood, we present this "separated-at-birth" photo combo, which a reader sent in and is sure to give us terrifying dreams at least through the group stage. Although we're not sure which is which, we know that one of the shots is of Brazil's Ronaldo, and Nosf...
So ... We've Got Some Affidavit Names
Everyone's guessing about who the blacked-out names in the Jason Grimsley report are, and it has been a fun parlor game so far. But we all knew eventually the names would get out. And we've been digging around ... and some sources have given us some names....
The End Of The Kyle Boller Era Of Joy
Yesterday, after much debate and "controversy," the Baltimore Ravens finally traded for Steve McNair. Until McNair's legs fall off — we have Week 8 in the pool — he will take over the starting job for Brian Billick and his Nevermores....
Unfortunately, They Can Only Use Their Hands
If you thought human beings were the only species with a World Cup this week ... think again, you human-centric bigots! It's the Ant World Cup!...
It's A Hat! It's A Hearing Aid! It's A Utensil!
A site we'd never heard of but are now addicted to called Patently Silly takes a look at all the ridiculous "inventions" that receive patents from the goverment. Recently, they featured. something called "Multi-Purpose Headgear", from a company called Sportniks. What are the multi purposes of this...
Strap In For The Grimsley Express
So we've been digging through this Jason Grimsley affidavit, and there's some pretty fun stuff. We understand the mindset behind what one commenter called "the missing white girl story of the week" aspect of this, but we kind of have a feeling this might stick. Some highlights:...
Defending Mr. Cooper
So we've been thinking about the $500,000 bond required of the victimized Mike Cooper, and we did a little search through Google News for some comparisons....
The Canadian Hide-And-Seek Team
We're not sure where this is from — we haven't nailed it down yet — but here's a funny prank, explained by the reader who sent it to us:...
Jason Grimsley ... SCARFACE!
(One of these guys was on human growth hormone ... can you guess which one?)...
Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...
If Jail Cells Were Endzones, Chris Henry Would Be Jerry Rice
ESPN's headline alone is enough to send me into bemused laughter: "Bengals' Henry arrested for third time since December". I don't know why, but that's funny to me. Henry was doing 82 mph in a 65 mph zone, and then blew a .092 on the breathalyzer. Ohio's legal limit is .08. No report on whether or...
Today In Soccer...
• Your World Cup Togo Update: The Togoans, or Togoites, or Togolese players, whatever it is that they're called, are demanding 155,000 euros each to even play in the tournament, plus 30,000 euros for each win and 15,000 for each draw. The government says "No, we're poor, and you suck." It might tu...
Heat And Pistons, DANCE OFF!
As you rev yourself up for tonight's rather enormous Game 6 matchup between the Heat and the Pistons, we invite you to take in the Heat dancers and Extreme Heat dance team, firing themselves up for the game tonight. How can this not make you excited? How are you not fired up? Dance, Heat ... DANCE...
Orioles Considering Drafting Blast From The Past
The Major League Baseball draft is next Tuesday and Wednesday, and, as anybody knows, it's the most boring draft of all the professional sports. (And if you sat through any of the NFL Draft beyond the first 10 picks last year, you'll realize what a strong statement that is.) So you end up looking ...
BREAKING: If That's Wrong, We Don't Want To Be Right!
This just in: You really don't want to mess with Carl Monday....