im Page 908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Know, He Could Be Behind You ... RIGHT NOW!
An ingenious reader put this together, the first Dilbert parody we've ever found amusing....
Let's Go Buckeyes! Yeah!
As we continue to sift through the rubble of last Thursday — a day we are perfectly comfortable with commemorating with the "Deadspin Festivus" moniker, from now into eternity — we check in again on Carl Monday, who, as always, reminds us to ask, "Are our libraries a beacon of light ... or a cessp...
Celebrating The True Romance Of Mike Golic
You might have been cynical about the "Mike and Mike Marriage Madness" last Friday — which was "tastefully Gator," in the words of the groom — but that's because you're cold-hearted and don't believe in the "special company [ESPN] has created and nurtured every day." Soulless bastards....
Carson Palmer's Charitable Contributions
From what we understand from various Cincinnati residents, the act of "cornholing" is quite big in the area....
I Will Joust You With My Finger, Bitch.
It's very sadly missing from the Sunday TV sports lineup, but there is a hot new sport on the horizon. It's called Finger Jousting, and it's sweeping the... okay, it's not sweeping the nation or anything else. But they do have a website. So that's step one. Here's how the sport works:...
Santonio Holmes Already Becoming A Fine Replacement For Plaxico Burress
Former Ohio State receiver and Pittsburgh Steelers #1 draft pick Santonio Holmes was arrested in South Beach early Saturday morning, and unfortunately, it was not for masturbating in a public library. He's charged with disorderly conduct, and police say that he disrupted traffic and was verbally a...
Some Ugliness In Iraq
At the risk of adding some gloom to an otherwise fun day, and also of inciting some of that nasty political talk, I should mention that a couple of Iraqi tennis players and a coach were killed recently for the crime of wearing shorts....
Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
What Not To Do On A Trampoline
To distract you from the apparently false Neil Everett rumor below, here's that trampoline basketball injury that, we agree, desperately needed its own post. Honestly, we're so glad our parents didn't have a trampoline growing up, because this totally would have happend to us....
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
Pat Robertson Could Destroy You With His Legs
A couple of days ago, we noted that CBS Sportsline's SPIN columnist Clay Travis had dug up a claim that Pat Robertson had leg-pressed 2,000 pounds. (Unlike what we wrote then, the Florida state leg-press record is 1,335, not 665; we had that wrong. Sorry.) This was, of course, ridiculous, right? T...
Searching For SpongeBob
If the movies have taught us anything, it's that Alcatraz is escape-proof. That's because of the frigid, shark-infested mile-and-a-half of San Francisco Bay that's between the notorious former federal prison and the city of San Francisco. If you're a 1940s goon, hood, mobster, mug, ruffian, thug, ...
Football, The Anime Way
Inspired by our scary Japanese baseball video yesterday, the gang at The Postmen dug up this apparent Japanese anime instructional video for how to play the game of American football....
Pat Robertson Is The Strongest Man Alive
CBS Sportsline's SPIN columnist Clay Travis points out the following dubious claim, as professed on noted televangelist Pat Robertson on his Web site:...
We're Goin' Streakin'!
A reader sent in a tip regarding a streaker at the Royals/Cardinals game Friday night. The streaker, a tattooed, mohawked Cardinals fan in boxer shorts, stole the 1985 Royals World Series flag, ran into left field, and, according to the tipster, was then beaten down by a combination of police, the...
If You're Going To An O's Game, Take A Map
I rarely do public service announcements here on Deadspin, but I felt that this one was important enough. Please fans, when you're leaving an Orioles game, have directions with you. If you get lost after leaving the stadium, you will soon find yourself in a jail cell, "sleeping on a concrete floor...
The Bond Between Man And Beer, Let No One Break Asunder
Eat your heart out, Zack Hample. The ultimate collector of baseballs has nothing on an unnamed man in Ogden, Utah, who drank an estimated 24 beers a day for eight years, and never threw away any of the cans. When a realtor tried to enter the man's townhouse recently, he found that he had trouble o...
Your Wimpy Nickname Suggestions
Yesterday, we solicited your thoughts on the least intimidating team nicknames, and judging from the fact that it was our most commented post of all time, it's safe to say that you had some thoughts on the matter. Here are our favorites, though we're still not sure anything can beat our Fisher Bun...