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Report: The Cavs Can't Get A Hold Of Kyrie Irving
Kyrie Irving wants out of Cleveland, for whatever reason, and he’s apparently doing everything in his power to hasten the exit process. According to The Athletic’s Jason Lloyd (subscribe here), the Cavs’ front office has been unable to get in touch with Irving since news of his trade demand broke....

Bah Gawd, It's The Rattlesnake!
Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!...

Man Breaks Into Minor League Locker Room, Takes Mugshot In Stolen Jersey
A homeless West Virginia man stole nearly $4,000 of stuff from the locker room of the Class-A West Virginia Power this morning. He took his mugshot in a hitting coach’s jersey, which he was wearing when he was arrested....

Deadspin Up All Night: Century Of The Narcissist
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I let my husband pick today. ...

Things Anthony Scaramucci Said In The Interview Where He Talked About Steve Bannon Sucking His Own Cock, Ranked<em></em>
Anthony Scaramucci, a finance guy or something who doesn’t seem to understand anything about being a press flack, called the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza last night and ethered every one of his White House enemies in one of the greatest and most surreal interviews in American political history. Here are ...

Please, For The Love Of All That Is Holy And Football-Shaped, Do Not Ruin <i>Hey Arnold</i>
These days I watch my toddler nephews and nieces watch YouTube videos of adults unboxing and playing with toys for children, and wonder what level of the brain meme I’m living on. Sometimes I poke and probe—what could be interesting about this? Why is watching this more fun than playing with the ver...

NeyWatch: Nevermind, Maybe PSG Can't Afford Neymar After All
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

The Royals Are Suddenly Unstoppable
Eric Hosmer was an invincible monster on Wednesday night. In a 16-2 drubbing of the failing Detroit Tigers, Hosmer provided five runs, five hits, and six RBI, most of which came from a demoralizing seventh-inning grand slam that stretched the lead out to 13-1. He even stole a base for only the fifth...

How To Mangle A Survey, By Darren Rovell<em></em>
If you merely scanned today’s Darren Rovell ESPN article on a new survey of NFL fans, you might be forgiven for coming away believing that fans are leaving in droves, turned off by the national anthem protests inspired by Colin Kaepernick. If you bothered to actually read the damn thing, you know t...

John McCain Is A Man Of (A) Principle<em></em>
The Vietnam stuff really did happen; he really did the Vietnam stuff. Shattered and crumpled and beat to shit, starving, John McCain really did decline an arbitrary offer of early release from foreign torture prison; he really did choose what turned out to be four more years of torture and suffering...

Nationals Sock Five Goddamn Dingers In Six At-Bats
It’s a good day to be a Nationals fan and a very, very bad day to be a Brewers pitcher. The Nationals hit eight home runs in their first four innings today; five of those home runs were off Michael Blazek in the span of six at-bats in the bottom of the third....

Kristaps Porzingis's Workouts Have Become Slightly Less Relatable, Have Made Him Slightly More Swole
Kristaps Porzingis, despite being the centerpiece of one of the world’s most visible sports franchises and a superstar in utero, spent this summer’s gym trips looking an awful lot like what he is: a skinny-ass 21-year-old trying to put some weight on. It was comforting to see....

Dan Gilbert Took An Unearned Shot At The Pacers
Cavs owner Dan Gilbert and freshly hired GM Koby Altman held a press conference yesterday, the purpose of which was to assure everyone that, actually, the Cavs’ disastrous summer has been good. It was mostly boring, except for one part when Gilbert couldn’t help but throw some shit at the Pacers....

Giancarlo Stanton Got Sweet Revenge On Jason Grilli
On Tuesday night, Rangers reliever Jason Grilli struck out Giancarlo Stanton to end the game, securing a 10-4 victory for his team. Grilli was pumped:...

Jordan Morris Is Your Unlikely Gold Cup Hero
“Idk why Jordan Morris is out there,” I typed to the Deadspin staff exactly two minutes before his game-winning goal. Morris was barely scoring in MLS with the Seattle Sounders this year, and even his two goals in this tournament came against the far inferior Martinique. He looked lost and mistake-p...

A Beautiful Jozy Altidore Free Kick Gave The USMNT A Short-Lived Lead
Jozy Altidore was in a bit of a slump, having not scored for the USMNT since September of 2016. But suddenly, he’s on fire, with two goals in fewer than 90 minutes across the past two games....

Justin Upton Defeated By His Own Helmet
There are many productive ways to deal with frustration. Here, for example, is a handy-dandy guide from our colleagues over at Lifehacker. And here is a decidedly unproductive way of dealing with frustration: slamming your batting helmet down after grounding into an inning-ending out, only to watch ...

Inside-The-Park Grand Slam Salvaged By <em></em>Worst Tag Attempt Ever
J.P. Crawford—a Phillies shortstop prospect currently playing with the AAA Lehigh Valley IronPigs—smacked an inside-the-park grand slam tonight. That in itself is a rare feat, but it was made even more unbelievable by some bizarre action at the plate when Crawford came in to score....

Delightful Trade Rumor: Twins To Consider Dealing Jaime Garcia Days After Acquiring Him
Scarcely 24 hours after officially acquiring Jaime Garcia, the Twins are rumored to be interested in dealing him. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Turn This Whole Town Into Dust
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay balanced....