in Page 3647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alright, This Evgeni Plushenko Video Is Kind Of Outstanding
Especially if you like Metallica and silver dragons and lightning and fucking fire. Enjoy this 45 seconds of battle-axing brilliance. (Thanks to reader Tony, for the tip.)...

The One Where The South Korean Speedskate Lady Grabs Her Coach's Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Stories That Don't Suck: T.K. On Rick Barry, Do You Believe In Headshrinking?, Norm, Taibbi Goes Gonzo
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Curt Schilling Is Always In Code Orange When It Comes To Autograph Hounds
"This is a poor analogy, but it's like terrorism. If autograph dealers want to get in, they will...[p]eople who have no interest in me and want me to just sign some things so they can sell them." [ESPN]...

Even Monkeys Go To Rehab
Yes, unless this report comes from an Onion-style Russian newspaper, it appears a monkey hooked on alcohol and cigarettes has been sent to rehab. The world is a vampire. [Montreal Gazette]...

Last Night's Winner: Canadian Men On Skates
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Canadian skatesmen, who prat fell onto the podium for short-track speedskating and held off the feisty Slovakians in hockey for a chance at gold against Amerika....

No Early Termination For Ozzie, Reinsdorf
Happy 74th birthday, Jerry Reinsdorf! What do you have to say to him, Ozzie? "As soon as he dies, I'll get the fuck out." And he didn't even need Twitter to say it! [Sun-Times]...

Deadspin I-Team: Is This John Clayton's Ponytail?
Reader Brad alerts us to this video, in which one can discern what appears to be the fabled and disputed ponytail of John Clayton, bobbing up and down. Look at the evidence. I-Team's verdict: ponytail. We await comment from ESPN....

Your USA-Finland Open Thread
The only thing that stands between us and a gold medal rematch with the Canadians is Finland, the Canada of Europe. Try out your umlauts and doubled vowels in the comments....

"The 40 Most Sexual Photos Of The Olympics," Claims Blog
Yes, I would agree that there are some very Kama Sutra-inspired photos contained in this gallery. I believe this is one the kids call "The Egyptian Magic Wheelbarrow," if I'm not mistaken....

Tailpipe: "He Didn't Seem The Least Bit Interested In Hugging Her Curves"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Fire Woman, YOU’RE TO BLAME! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

OK, Seriously, Time To Shut The Hell Up About Fighting And Olympic Hockey
The Olympic hockey games have been uniformly thrilling, to purists and casual fans alike. But there are murmurs, surely music to Gary Bettman's ears, that the lack of fighting is what's making the games so great....

That's Just Manny Being Manly
According to a Dodgers beat writer, Manny Ramirez is endorsing a strip club-themed energy drink named "Sum Poosie." I would've thought Juicy Juice to be more appropriate, but whatever. [Twitter]...

David Geffen Knows This Song Is About Him (UPDATE)
Carly Simon has apparently revealed the subject of "You're So Vain," and it's David Freaking Geffen, who is gay. (Um, "wife of a close friend"?) Better him than Cat Stevens, I guess. (UPDATE: Or not!) [The Sun, via UkraineNotWeak]...

Florida Marlins: The Team That Time Forgot
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Florida Marlins....

Presenting Your New Favorite Olympian
A simple question posed to Norweigan skiier Odd-Bjørn Hjelmeset about his silver medal in the men's 4x10 relay somehow led to a spectacular response, covering porn, Tiger woods, and brutal honesty....

Last Night's Winner: Scott Hamilton's Tear Ducts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Hamilton and everyone else who had themselves another happy cry last night over Joannie Rochette, winner of a bronze medal that looks golden from here....

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eric Hinske Some Kind Of Circus Freakshow Now
Two years of work and $5000 later, the well-traveled utilityman finally completed...something. "[He] said there is no special significance to the design," but I'm pretty sure he's now officially Yakuza. [AJC]...