in Page 3772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Everything Was Going So Well For The Cardinals
The return of Chris Carpenter to the Cardinals' rotation was a brief one. DL likely. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...

You Know When The Homemade Kenny Powers Jersey Looks Cool? When You're Getting Arrested
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap More...

Famous Guy To Become Slightly Less Famous
Oscar De La Hoya "retired" today, which is what boxers do while they wait for someone to offer them $20 million for their once-in-a-lifetime comeback payday. He will be missed?...

Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....

Yep. That's Bruce Pearl Rapping With No Shirt On
The UT athletic department held their third annual VOLSCARS ceremony that I think is supposed to be a play on "Oscars" (as in Academy Awards) but it just reads as "Vol Scars," which is disgusting. Anyway, it's some sort of school-wide ESPY awards and this year's "entertainment" featured head basketb...

Jay Cutler's Windy City Heat
Busy first week for Jay Cutler, who seems to be familiarizing himself into the Chicago nightlife scene quite nicely since his arrival....

Dodger Fan Unable To Dodge Knife
Opening Day at Dodger Stadium went off without a hitch. There was plenty of fighting, gun-waving, knife play, vandalism and general mayhem to keep everyone on their toes....

Allen Iverson's Money Is No Longer Good Here
The Answer has been banned from two different Detroit casinos, because of his "boorish" behavior. Considering how bad he is at gambling, we must be talking about some serious boor activity. [Detroit News]...

The Queen Of Queens
America's Sideline Princess became America's Baseline Princess, spending most of last night's Citi Field opener giving fans an extensive tour of the new ballpark, while slack-jawed yokels stood idly by and tried not to drool....

Isiah Thomas Is Never Going Away
Rumor has it that Florida International wants to has hired organizational wunderkind Isiah Thomas to be their new head basketball coach. Unbelievable. I guess FIU doesn't have a history department. [ESPN]...

We've Got Bush
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Nick Swisher To The Rescue
The Yankees off-season pitching additions are starting to pay-off. Swisher's line yesterday: 1.0IP 1H 0R 1K. Unfortunately they lost to the DRays 15-5. [3:10 To Joba]...

Just One More Out
One of the saddest stories I ever heard was when Harry Kalas was denied the chance to call the Phillies 1980 World Series live due to NBC's broadcast restrictions....

Door-On-Player Violence Is Not A Joke
Cincy OF Chris Dickerson is day-to-day after getting beat up by a revolving door. This wouldn't happen if you knew how to mind your place. [MLB.com, via Big Lead]...

Usain Bolt Talks About Rollin' With His Homies
"In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too — but I was real young then." [SI/AP]...

Miami Feels The Pain That Will Last A Lifetime
In the annals of gut-wrenching defeats, you're going to have to dig deep to find one tougher than Miami's collapse against Boston in the NCAA hockey final on Sunday....

A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....

Now, Tell Me What You See When You Open Up Your Hands?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Reed Johnson Does Not Believe In Goat Stories
Even though another goat was found hanging from the arm of Harry Caray, right fielder Reed Johnson still manages to make the ladies swoon with his wall-climbing abilities. [Total Sports]...