in Page 4192 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Will The Boss Rock Touchdown Jesus?
We keep hearing about all these rumors, so since we are who we are, we might as well publish them. Whispers abound all around South Bend that tomorrow's pep rally for the Notre Dame game against the undefeated USC Trojans — recently moved from the Joyce Center to Notre Dame Stadium — will feature ...

We Know What You Did Last Night, Eddings
Any umpire will tell you that if, when the game is over, you haven't noticed them and you don't know they're name, they've done their job. By this measure, Doug Eddings had a poor day at the office. As the world wakes up this morning to a steady stream of vitriol at the umpire for his strange call...

Playoffs Pants Party: Cardinals vs. Astros
Well, fortunately, we have F/X. Like last year, the Cardinals and Astros are playing a game of their NLCS on an obscure cable network that's up there near the Outdoor Life Network. But that's fine: It's only the playoffs. Anyway, this is a rematch of a series last year that, since apparently nobod...

We're Guessing Tice Got On The Wrong Boat
OK, time to dig into this Minnesota Vikings sex boat story....

Presenting The Stupidest Sport Ever
We were pretty sure that the end of civilization was near when we discovered Korfball. After a close examination of Korfball, it became very clear that humans have too much time on their hands, and it would be better for everyone if we just gave everything back to the lower mammals, letting them s...

Welcome Back, Artest! Glad To Have Ya!
That Ron Artest is back for a whole season is destined to be one of the sublime joys of the upcoming NBA season; that he vows to be as crazy as ever makes us want to get an NBA League Pass, stat. From an interview with Dave D'Alessandro in today's Newark Star-Ledger:...

Lance Armstrong Puppy Updates!
Remember back when ESPN was actually providing updates on the health of Lance Armstrong's dog? Well, we can't just blame them anymore; the Associated Press has take up the cause of Lance's puppy, which was apparently born with a defective valve in its heart, as if any of you could possibly care....

The OTHER Sports Guy
As Our Boy Bill Simmons' book continues to sell like crazy — currently No. 19 on the hardcover nonfiction bestseller list — we turn our amused eye on a man named Brent Weber, author of The Sports Guy: Scorecard Scribblings from an Ordinary Journalist. The book was published in June 2002 by a company...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bill Conlin
It's not so much that American newspaper editors want to employ mean-spirited sports columnists such as Bill Conlin; we're pretty sure it's the law. How else would one explain it? Every large paper seems to have its resident sports bastard, and Conlin fills that role at the Philadelphia Daily News...

Playoff Roundup: We Warmed Up For The 19th
• We had to run out to see In Her Shoes in the ninth inning of the Astros-Braves game yesterday. Brad Ausmus was coming up, so we knew we wouldn't miss anything. Anybody catch what happened? • Our favorite part of the game is that if the game went so long that Roger Clemens wouldn't have been able...

NFL Roundup: Davenport Craps Out
• After intercepting an Anthony Wright pass in the end zone, Lions defensive back Dre Bly honored injured Packers running back Najeh Davenport by doing a spitting-image impersonation of him. Which was nice, we thought. • After yesterday, we'll just say that we're going to really enjoy watching Terr...

Week in Deadspin: Thanks, Kyle!
• Kyle Orton and his buddies Jack and Daniel give us enough traffic that we are currently sunbathing on a beach in Boise. It's nice here. Orton says he's sorry, by the way. No need, Kyle! • Jesus don't want Josh McCown for a sunbeam. He would like Cheetos to replenish themselves, however. • Is Cha...

Buying T.O.'s Discarded Junk (For Charity!)
This man's name is Bob Lipinski, and he's an "entrepreneur" from South Jersey. (cough-mob-cough) And he is now the proud owner of Terrell Owens' NFC Championship ring from last year. He won an auction for the ring that Owens held to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. We've brought up our suspic...

Live Blog: Cardinals vs. Padres, Game 2
Hey, so, we feel your pain about being stuck at work while there's playoff games going on, so, like we have all week, we're are mere vessels to maximize your enjoyment. We'll be live-blogging Game 2 of the Cardinals-Padres series right here, down to the last pitch, as the Padres try to make this a...

Brokeback Mountain Update: Inscrutable Brit Slang Edition
We still can't quite get enough of these still-percolating Peyton Manning-Kenny Chesney rumors. To get you up to speed, British gossip site Popbitch reported that one of the main reasons for the Zellweger-Chesney divorce might have been his "friendship" with Manning. We then uncovered an old quote...

Hey, How's Oddjack Doing With Picks?
We've been watching with a bit of amusement as our gambling addict brother Oddjack struggles to make sense of the early baseball playoff action. He's not alone, of course, but his picks have been a bit erratic of late. (Not that we've been much better.) This afternoon, he likes the Padres to beat ...

Yo, CBS Sportsline Is Rad, Dude!
We know we make fun of ESPN's Page 2 a lot, and if you've ever tried to make it through five sentences of "24 College Avenue," you'll understand why. But when we thought that SI.com's Scorecard Daily was the worst Page 2 ripoff that could exist, we were way, way wrong....

It's A Good Time To Be Bill Simmons
All kinds of news involving Our Boy Bill Simmons, kicked off with a glowing pop culture icon validation from Slate's Bryan Curtis, who writes the "Middlebrow" column for the Web mag, which has featured luminaries like Michael Flatley, Demi Moore and Cirque du Soleil in the past. Curtis has big nic...

Oh, The Fun They'll Have
According to Sports By Brooks and KMPC Radio in Los Angeles, now that college football expert Nick Lachey and non-sports-related wife Jessica Simpson have reportedly split up (or maybe not), Lachey might actually be moving in with Southern Cal quarterback Matt Leinart. (We're going to assume he do...

Falling Asleep To Exciting Playoff Action
We were flipping through our newspaper this morning — sorry, sometimes we actually like to read printed things — and glanced at the schedule for the remainder of the Cardinals-Padres series. They will be playing Game 2 at 4 p.m. today — we'll be live-blogging the game, and we promise to actually f...