ing Page 1384 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Asthmatic 61-Year-Old Woman Tries To Be The First Person To Swim From Cuba To Florida Without A Shark Cage
Endurance swimmers are impressive extreme athletes. Swimming long distances is brutal. And bad bad things happen to you in the ocean. Especially when you're 61 and have asthma. Not that that bothers Diana Nyad, who's attempting to make it 103 miles from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. It's a f...

Sarah Silverman Helps Kick Off Deadspin's Second Attempt At Comedy Week
Some of you may notice how we've attempted to initiate some theme weeks into our editorial content this past year, including topics that have little or no connection to sports whatsoever. Last April's Comedy Week was our first trip into this uncharted territory, done in conjunction with our former f...

Look Alive, Or Brandon Jennings Might Completely Embarrass You
Your morning roundup for Aug. 8, the day we learned the mile-high club extended to the cockpit. Video via SLAM Online. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

When Mays And Mantle Were Banned From Baseball: Putting A-Rod's Gambling "Problem" In Context
As Alex Rodriguez stays in the headlines because he's Alex Rodriguez (even though he wasn't actually at the high-stakes poker game mentioned in the tabloids since he was playing in the World Series at the time), the real story is the re-emergence of baseball's complicated relationship with gambling....

What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....

Pirates Pitcher Finishes Inning, Gives Himself A Gatorade Shower, Pirates Lose Anyway
James McDonald had quite a game last night. Pitched seven innings for the first time this season. Rapped a bases-clearing double. Scored a run. And when he finished retiring the Cubs in order in the seventh, as the above video shows, he had himself a grand ol' time. The Pirates had (cough) been in...

Matt Stairs: Spectacularly Just Good Enough
Matt Stairs, who on Wednesday announced his retirement, was the character actor who had a few decent roles in the 1970s and played solid bit parts ever after. He was a Ned Beatty of a player. He had a fine career. Always on the roster for his offense, he delivered above-average results with the bat ...

Today Was The Day "Mandingo Cock Deasel" Became An American Hero
His name is Eddie Evans. His superpower is rescuing his fellow man from a burning car at a Chevron gas station in DeKalb County, Ga. His choice of attire is what makes him the Stuff Of Legend....

NFL Tilts Stupidly At Stupid Windmill
The NFL has exciting new plans to implement a test of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Whatever. We've been through this before, so I'll just note two things:...

The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

Jurgen Klinsmann: America's Newest Soccer Jesus
Jurgen Klinsmann was introduced to the media this week as the new coach of the U.S. men's soccer team, a development in the making ever since the U.S. Soccer Federation batted eyelashes at Klinsmann before the 2006 World Cup. The coach spurned the USSF then, and instead led Germany to a third-place...

Rob Dibble Now Wants To Swaddle Stephen Strasburg In Warm Soft Blankets
A year ago at this time Rob Dibble was in the news for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Rob Dibble's in the news again for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Except this time it's the exact opposite contrarian opinion. What we're saying is, it's a good thing Strasburg's caree...

Apparently, Larry Fitzgerald Has Always Wanted To Be A Viking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: that's what his father says anyway....

Bug Selig Wants To Chat With A-Rod About His Violent, Cocaine-y Poker Game
Yankee third baseman/centaur Alex Rodriguez has been on the DL since mid-July after knee surgery. His recovery's coming along nicely, but there's new trouble looming: MLB brass wants to ask him about the strange poker game he played in. He might get suspended, ESPN New York reports....

The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...