ing Page 1676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, Who's Funnier Than Peyton Manning?
You know, when you're talking freewheeling, classic sketch comedy, well, jeez, you're obviously talking about Peyton Manning....

NBA Roundup: Cowabunga, Dude!
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Sorry: More On Livingston's Knee Injury
First off, in no way are we dismissing the severity of Shaun Livingston's devastating knee injury from Monday. We simply can't imagine going through that ... we got queasy watching Marcia Brady getting hit in the nose by the football. But that being said, there is no denying that Livingston's knee n...

Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...

Get Your Morrison/Harding Tickets FAST
We are trying to decide which part of this story is the saddest and most indicative of how our planet is in an irreversible downward incline. (Or, you know, "decline," if you want to say that in fewer words.) Tonight, in Brandon, Mo., The Amateur Boxing Club of Branson — such a thing exists — is hos...

Jerry Glanville Is Movin' On Up
So you know how Jerry Glanville is now the defensive coordinator at Hawaii? That's a job that has always made sense; if you've made your money in football, and still want to be a part of it but don't want to live the insane, 20-hour-day of the modern coach, kicking back and coaching defense in Hawai...

We Hope You've Already Eaten This Morning
We're sorry about this, but we really do have to show you the video of Clippers guard Shaun Livingston's brutal knee injury last night. We're not sure what they're cleaning the floor with over there, but it's either rubber cement or battery acid. Imagine if someone would have actually been guarding ...

Rulon Gardner Is Indestructible
You might remember Rulon Gardner, the Wyoming-born wrestler who came from nowhere and won a Gold Medal in the 2000 Olympics. Since then, he has made his living as a motivational speaker, which is probably why God keeps trying to kill him....

Craig Gower Also Has Time For Rugby
The Australian sporting landscape seems to have a different breed of derelicts than our own. When our athletes misbehave, someone ends up getting shot in a Vegas strip club. When Australian athletes misbehave, they walk naked around a resort and proposition the daughter of a sporting legend....

Smoot Isn't The Only One Who Misbehaves On Boats
Gerald Swindle is known as the G-Man, and he likes rock 'n roll music (I'm guessing from his website) and catchin' fish. That's him crying in the picture. He's crying because he's a huge dick....

I Agree Completely, He Really Shouldn't Have Made It Rain
I hope that one more post doesn't overdo it on the Pacman Jones story, but I did particularly enjoy this report from WSMV in Nashville. One line in particular really does tell you all you need to know. "He shouldn't have made it rain, then." Yes....

At Least He Doesn't Have AIDS
Lennox Lewis wants to make a comeback to the boxing ring. Who's he going to fight? Someone else who's coming out of retirement, of course, because that's all that's really left in boxing. An old-timers day in boxing would be rather redundant....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be Next On Dancing With The Stars?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Why Do They Mic Up Golfers, Anyway?
For all the talk of Tim Hardaway over the last week, we mustn't forget this grand moment from last year's Masters, when Vijay Singh, upset with a slicing drive, croaked "Fucking Faggot Motherfucker!" in his special Vijah Singh accent....

Jim Lampley Is Only Guilty Of Following His Heart (Oh, And His Ex. Her Too.)
In a San Diego court yesterday, waxen HBO broadcaster Jim Lampley pled no contest to violating a restraining order against him filed by an ex-girlfriend. She claims that Lampley threw her against walls a door in their hotel room on New Years Eve, and for a former Miss California, being thrown agains...

Tommy Morrison Most Healthy Undercard Winner Last Night
Well, they actually let Tommy Morrison — who pretty much everybody knows has HIV, save for himself, a couple of his doctor friends and some West Virginia boxing board members — fight last night, and, lo and behold, he won, knocking out John Castle in his first fight in 11 years. Castle had admitted ...

The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...

Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...

Eventually, The Running Man Will Become Reality
You know, with the freakshow that boxing has become and probably always was, that it was inevitable: ESPN is reporting that Tommy Morrison, the former "Rocky V" boxer who has HIV, will be fighting Thursday night....

No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....