ing Page 1680 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Should Help Attract Free Agents
Here's something we don't have enough of in America: sports team owners who run prostitution rings. Mikhail Prokhorov, owner of the Euroleague basketball champs CKSA Moscow, was arrested on suspicion of running a prostitution ring. Seven 20-year-old Russian women were also held for questioning. I'm ...
You Think You're A Real Hotshot, Don't You?
"Hold it right there, crackerjack. Before you grab your crotch and spin like a whirlin' dervish, you gotta learn how to skate with safety! And just how can you learn? Don't worry, we've brought in the master of safety ... Meet Tom. He's the Executive Director of the Pro/Am Skateboard Racing Associat...
Where Is Dee Mirich Now That We Need Her Most??
We think we know why Barbaro has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. As anyone who is familiar with the Barbaro message board knows, Barbaro superfan Dee Mirich is a regular fixture; her fractured mini-essays on love, rainbows and various bird species popping up three, four, five times a day. They ...
Gilbert Arenas Rates His Swag
It must be frustrating for Gilbert Arenas sometimes, being stuck on a planet with people who couldn't possibly understand the way his world works. Sometimes, though, an intrepid reporter will try to break through....
Winter Sports, The Full Monty And You
Meet Austrian two-time Olympic bronze medalist Rainer Sch nfelder, shown here shooshing about at a crisp 0.5 degrees Celsius, his privates most likely resembling those of a laboratory mouse. Don't worry girls, it's only shrinkage! See you at the lodge! Thank God the bears are hibernating and didn't ...
Who Dare Oppose The Flailing Fists Of Fury?
Ah, the windmill. Once a devastating fighting maneuver featured in middle schools everywhere, it has fallen out of favor in recent years, and is now nearly extinct in the wild. The only place one can see it currently is in Popeye cartoons or Spanish soccer, the latter which recently gave us the some...
Don't You Forget About Ron Zook
The Florida Gators might have overcome a few years of questionable coaching decisions, rugby-style kicks, random substitutions and BALLS OUT INTENSITY to win a national championship ... but rest assured, Ron Zook shall return triumphant! The Zooker's improving! And comin' atcha!...
Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...
The Inside Story On Gilbert's Birthday Bash
The big party last week was, not surprisingly, the big Gilbert Arenas birthday party, complete with ice sculpture, Clinton Portis and, of all people, Kissing Suzy Kolber's own Unsilent Majority. (Obviously, Agent Zero should be a bit more judicious with the guest list.) Unsilent spoke with Free Dark...
The Key To Any Good Party Is The Ice Sculpture
If you were wondering what happened to your invite to Gilbert Arenas's 25th birthday party, it got lost in the mail and somehow ended up in the hands of Jamie Mottram of Mister Irrelevant, the FanHouse, and formerly of Sports Bloggers Live. His Arenas Express Card got him into the party, and he was ...
The Royal We Is Back, And So Are We
If you were wondering what a man looks like after a 12 1/2-hour flight from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Santiago, Chile, to Toronto to New York City — particularly when his luggage is still in Toronto, presumably being delivered by mounties this evening — this is what he looks like: Haggard, but full...
CBS SportsLine Discovers The Barbaro Message Board
Displaying the same keen journalistic instincts that brought the world Spin on Sports, CBS SportsLine did some real digging over the holidays and discovered that, apparently, some middle-aged women are e-mailing Barbaro....
Take Me Home, Country Load
There isn't a lede in the world that could possibly do this Georgia Tech fan's Gator Bowl experience any justice, so I'll just go right to the recap:...
Tiger Mauls Helpless Leprechaun As Charlie Weis Looks On And Does Nothing
We are happy to report that the Sugar Bowl was one of several games available on iTunes this year, so we hope all of you Notre Dame fans took advantage of that. Just the thing to view over and over again during church. After LSU's 41-14 win Wednesday night — the Irish's ninth straight bowl defeat ...
Good Morning: And Did You Rush to the Phone to Call?
Morning again, Spinheads. Let's start off our last few hours together by acknowledging some of the things I missed yesterday from the Department of Batshittery — only because I was too preoccupied with Song Girl pooper:...
Farewell, Charlotte Sting
One of the WNBA's first franchises hasn't found a buyer since its owner/ operator, the Charlotte Bobcats, gave up control over the team on Dec. 13th and now, the long-legged ladies of North Carolina will no longer have a professional team to call their own. Michael Jordan=Franchise killer....
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...
Good Morning: Hold Everything You Love...Deadspin Returns to the Super Bowl
Greetings, Spinheads. Today's our final day together, and before we break out the huffing supplies and begin a rousing game of alligator fuckhouse, I have a quick announcement: I'd like to let all parties in the Miami area know that I've once again been permitted to display my on-the-scene reporting...
The Bodily Functions Of Bryant Gumbel
What better way to spend New Years than trying to figure out if it was really Bryant Gumbel that you heard belching during last night's Redskins/Giants game? At a couple of points during the broadcast, some miscellaneous belches were heard coming from the booth. Pro Football Talk (those guys are tho...
As The Mess Begins To Unfold...
If the Giants lose tonight, tomorrow's NFL day gets a lot more interesting and confusing. If they win tonight, a playoff spot is theirs, most likely. If they lose, though, there are four other teams, all of them terrible, that could claim the spot tomorrow. I don't care much about either of these te...