ing Page 1688 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Must Be Sittin' In The Front Row!
Earlier this week, we heard rumors of a fan and his girlfriend / wife / mistress / crossdresser, while in the top level of the mostly empty RFK Stadium, uh, enjoying themselves in a way that you can't exactly enjoy yourself in the crowded Yankee Stadium bleachers. We weren't going to run anything ab...

Boxer Told To Knock It Off With The Smurf Crap
This gentleman is named Arthur Abraham, and he's the IBF middleweight champion, whatever the hell that means anymore. If you're looking at his hat and thinking, "Gee, that kind of looks like a Smurf hat," well, you're right: That's exactly what it is....

Deadspin Moral Quandary: PK Vs. KSK
Contrary to the popular opinion concerning blogs, we consider ourselves pretty nice guys. We mean well for humanity, pet puppies, occasionally give change to the homeless, say please and thank you, all that. But there's still this mindset that blogs are somehow mean. Therefore, we're looking inward ...

Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....

Cultural Oddsmaker: A Very Special Episode
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think. Oh, and apologies, again, to The Dugout....

Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...

See, We Weren't Making It Up
So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"...

What, All Flights To Utah Were Booked?
Whenever we blow $600,000 on blackjack and loose women, we know that it's time for another trip to Cuba. Olympic officials in Thailand recently had that same thought, as they packed off Olympic boxing champion Manus Boonjumnong to the balmy shores of North America's favorite island, with the notion ...

GW Hoops Coach Just Can't Wait To Turn Head And Cough (Or Whatever It Is They Do These Days)
Thanks to the increasingly indispensible DC Sports Bog, we have the rare opportunity to see the head coach of a major college basketball franchise pretty damned excited to get himself a prostate exam....

By This Rationale, Most Of You Are "Hazed" Every Weekend
OK, what does this picture say to you, other than "They should really think about having those big whiteheads removed, or popped, or something?" Does this look like some debacherous, out-of-control, dangerous exercise? A way to maliciously prey on unsuspecting freshmen who don't understand the horro...

Dr. Z Hangs Out With Swimsuit Models
We know, we know: The unconditional love for SI scribe Rick Reilly's "Riffs Of Reilly" segment — sample comedic genius moment: "USC's quarterback is John David Booty and Texas' is Colt McCoy. Hey, weren't both those guys on 'Gunsmoke?'" Oh, Rick, you slay us! — makes you think that SI.com must be so...

And Somewhere, Fred Smoot Sheds A Tear
The country is England, the sport is "Conger Cuddling," and the athlete pictured here is pointing his ... wait a minute ... no! His eel! He's preparing to toss an eel! You people are disgusting sometimes....

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....

The Fast And The Furryous
If you sat through more than one college football game on Saturday, then obviously you forgot that this past weekend was also the opening of hamster ball racing season. PETCO sponsored races at nearly all of its 800 stores in the U.S. on Saturday, which they called the Hamster Ball Derby. Accordin...

Fortunately, It Was To A National Powerhouse Like Rutgers
The last time we were able to watch our beloved alma mater play in the New York City metropolitian area, it was the Coaches Vs. Cancer Jimmy V Classic at Madison Square Garden. The Illini lost by 20 to Providence and Ryan Gomes. We thought it couldn't get any worse....

One Last Victory Lap For A Deadspin Hall Of Famer
Ask yourself this: Would you sacrifice 1/17th of your yearly salary in return for one full day of irresponsible drunken sex with on a cruise ship, with the finest multiple partners that money can buy? If you answered yes, congratulations: You can hang with Fred Smoot....

Boxing's Death Knell Finally Arrives
Well, now boxing has officially gone to hell. Blogger Mark Evanier was excited to learn recently that Mattel is bringing back Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, the toy originally produced by Marx which he never had the chance to own as a child. Excited, that is, until he was flooded by e-mails from readers ...

NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....

Shuler Dangerously Close To Returning To Washington
So remember how former Redskins "quarterback" Heath Shuler is running for Congress? Well, it turns out, he actually is making serious gains in the polls, to the point that he's one of Democrats' key hopefuls for their attempt to take over the House of Representatives in the November elections....