ing Page 1687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Well, Look Who's Back!
That's right, folks: You thought the beat slowed down, but with Clinton Portis, the beat just don't slow down....
So This Horse Walks Into A Bar ...
"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If th...
Us Against The Music
Little housecleaning matter here: Tomorrow night, right before the Tigers begin securing their 2-0 ALDS lead on the Yankees — sorry — we will be reading things aloud. Using our voice, and perhaps some spackle....
Fortunately, No Sports Fans Actually Gamble On The Games
Good news, everybody! You may soon be free to fritter away your child's college education on something even more completely useless than online gambling. You know ... like college!...
Arenas Of The Absurd
We're rapidly coming to the point, we think, where we can place pictures of Gilbert Arenas and Michael Jackson side by side, and point to Arenas and say "He's the eccentric one." (Though Gilbert is decidedly more charming and, uh, a little less creepy, we think.) The latest out of Washington D.C. ...
Kids And Darts! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
And so finally, we have the concept for the next Johnny Knoxville movie. The British Darts Organisation is campaigning for their sport to be included in the 2012 London Olympics; and to that end, they've opened the Darts School of Excellence in London. It's for for kids ages 7 to 18, as England atte...
Ron Zook, Water Skiing
After our Illini's shocking upset victory over Michigan State on Saturday, we felt like we had no choice but to post this picture of coach Ron Zook water skiing. Weeeeee!!!!!...
That Is Exactly What It Looks Like
What you're looking at is a picture of a kangaroo boxing a human being. A terrible human being. I'm afraid it's very real, and it's a part of the 2006 Animal Olympics. They're brought to you from China, a country that apparently believes in animal rights every bit as much as they believe in human ri...
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
Pucker, Pucker, Pucker
When I first downloaded this clip and started to listen to it, I saw that it was over 15 minutes long, and I thought, "Eh, it's probably not worth it." And for a couple of minutes, it wasn't. And then this guy Michigan State radio guy begins the slow rapid descent into madness....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's Your Gay ESPN Sportscaster?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to tell him what you think....
Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....
Oh, No, Mike Tyson's Back! What Ever Will We Do!
You know, now that Mike Tyson has announced that he's going to be doing a travelling roadshow of "fights," we know that we're supposed to get all huffy about it, say things like "When's this guy gonna learn?" and "What has happened to boxing?" or even the old standby "Why doesn't he move on with h...
It Don't Mean A Thing If It Don't Have That Ring
Ever wonder why Sheryl Swoopes was a successful athlete but, say, Kordell Stewart was not? According to a study by King's College London — whatever that is — it's because women with long fingers make better athletes than women with shorter fingers....
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...
Sir, I Strongly Protest Your Driving Habits
We're sure you've seen this, but we kind of had to bring it up anyway. If you're like us, you can't be pulled away from the television with a herd of wild ponies during an ARCA stock car race.* One reason is that these guys are always grapplin', and they aren't just your everyday tussles like you se...
Meanwhile, Over At Hogwarts ...
Know how we know you're gay? Your rugby team is trailing 24-7, until a group of male streakers run across the field. You then go on to win the match, 26-24....
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
Hazing, Or An Endorsement Of Intimate Apparel?
When it comes to accusations of boys being forced to wear lingerie and drink hard liquor, I could really go either way. If it's Michael Jackson doing it, then sure, there could be some cause for concern. When it's being done voluntarily by high school baseball players... I'm probably OK with it....
Does This Mean Jay-Z Has To Rename His Club?
Forty. Forty. Forty. There was a time in the not-too-distant past when seeing that word three times in a row would mean that I had 120 ounces of this garbage coursing through my veins. Today, however, it represents the remarkable accomplishment of Alfonso Soriano, becoming the first ever member of t...