ing Page 1696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Well, Somebody Better Start Making Golic's Tux And Greenberg's Dress
Well, it looks like they're actually going through with this:...
"Cut Me, Doc, Cut Me. Oh, Check, By The Way"
While everyone is focusing on the World Cup, another big event being hosted by Germany is tragically being ignored: The European Chessboxing Championships. The only board game which requires talcum and a cut man begins on April 21 in Cologne with two fights; the first between German middleweights ...
Tiger Woods Successfully Completes High Five
As we congratulate Tiger Woods for finally figuring out the correct way to slap another man's hand with his own, we take a look at the Masters, which, for all its bluster and Carlyle Group vibe, is the one golf tournament we look forward to every year, even if it's just because it reminds us that ev...
Power To The Peepl
Reaction continues to pour in on yesterday's spelling bee post (OK, we got one note, which was attached to a rock and thrown through our window). Toward the end of the post we noted that there are actually people who protest in front of the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.; folks ...
When Words Collide
It was the mother of all spelling bees; the 1971 Chiefs-Dolphins of word competition. In case you were for some reason watching basketball on Saturday, two young contestants in the Treasure State Spelling Bee in Billings, Mont., slugged it out for four and a half hours — 25 rounds — before a champ...
This Marriage Madness Thing, It's Actually Happening. Really
We didn't listen to ESPN's "Mike And Mike In The Morning" this morning, but we're told the whole "Marriage Mania" business is in its finals, which means, sometime soon, two human beings will enter the bonds of holy matrimony while standing next to a sweaty Mike Golic....
Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...
Opening Day Television Snafus
So, opening day! You took the day off of work so you could stay home and take in all the first-day action. First up, Mets-Nationals ... "Baseball Tonight" is ending, so here we go! ... ESPN News? What?...
It's Opening Day. Commence Wistful Laments For Days Of Yore
It's one of everyone's favorite days of the year: The day when George Will pulls a hamstring trying to come up with synonyms for "grass," "sunshine" and "purity." It's opening day! The first game of the day is at that baseball mecca Shea Stadium, with the Mets hosting the Washington Nationals. First...
We'd Suggest Always Betting The Under
We have a question. Why is Pete Rose scraping for a living here in the U.S. when he could just skip across the Atlantic and be a god? Soccer is where the real action is, friends. First, we have a report that most Premiership players are betting on games; or, as former Republic of Ireland striker T...
The Value Of College Athletes
Ever wonder how much money an individual player was worth to a university? So did Robert Brown, a professor at Cal State-San Marcos who has spent 15 years studying the value of college athletes. He put together a formula to estimate how much members of last year's North Carolina and Illinois baske...
People Will Come, Ray...
I admit, I've never been much for the sappy "crack of the bat, smell of the green grass" imagery that seems to be inspired by the opening of the baseball season. But I can get behind these sounds of the season: San Diego Serenade has put together a list of 9 songs (complete with downloadable mp3s)...
Your NL East "Preview"
It is important to point out, before we start predicting our final division, that we have picked a team other than the Braves to win the division for five consecutive years. As if you needed any more assurance that our predictions are always wrong....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Nationals
We're three days away from Opening Day, so it's time to start previewing the season. Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at [email protected]. To...
The Ultimate Time Capsule Photo
Someone just sent us this picture, and we don't know where it's from, who took it or what the circumstances were around it. But, somehow, it made us extremely sad. Man. That could have been Whitey Ford, Ted Williams and Joe Louis hanging out right there. Oh well....
Roger Clemens Hates His Crotch
You might think that Peter King's gruesome description of the preparations he took to prepare for his colonoscopy would be the most disturbing thing you'd read all day. It would seem like a good bet; Peter, we love the freedom you have online, but there is such a thing as decorum and good will to ...
IRL Driver Paul Dana Killed In Practice Crash
Paul Dana, 30, died just before noon today after a crash at a pre-race practice for today's IRL IndyCar Series race. Another car had spun and hit a wall in front of him, and Dana slammed into it at full speed, over 216 miles per hour. The other driver, Ed Carpenter, is awake and alert at the hospi...
Sweet 16 Pants Party: Connecticut Vs. Washington
Connecticut Huskies (29-3) vs. Washington Huskies (26-6) When: Tonight, 9:57 p.m. ET Where: Washington, D.C....
What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...
Our Long National Nightmare Is Over; Soriano Caves
Well, it appears that Alfonso Soriano has agreed to play left field for the Nationals in spring training and is, in fact, playing the position right now, against the Cardinals. It "ends" a "standoff" that would be the sports world equivalent of Waco if, you know, Frank Robinson had set fire to Sor...