ing Page 1695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Searching For SpongeBob
If the movies have taught us anything, it's that Alcatraz is escape-proof. That's because of the frigid, shark-infested mile-and-a-half of San Francisco Bay that's between the notorious former federal prison and the city of San Francisco. If you're a 1940s goon, hood, mobster, mug, ruffian, thug, ...
You Know Schilling Plays Against Himself As Soon As The Game's Over
As you might have heard already, Red Sox legend/blowhard Curt Schilling loves video games so much that he had a video character of himself created for the game Everquest II. (Photo from Boston Dirt Dogs. If you defeat him, Sony donates money to the ALS foundation....
You Don't Bring Me Apples, Anymore ...
OK, we'll admit it; we wrote a letter to Barbaro. Dear Babs: Get well soon, you big, crazy ungulate mammal. Sorry you got hurt, and also for breeding you with legs like chopsticks. Our bad. Well, see ya. Yeah, like you haven't written. Sure. Have you seen New Bolton Center, the hospital in Kennett...
If You Can Make It There ...
We know that the obvious death of boxing has been thoroughly documented and dissected, but we kind of think this pretty much pushes it into the kitsch category....
They Shoot Theismann, Don't They?
The news appears to be improving for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner who went down during the Preakness with a broken hind leg. Not since that Joe Theisman video did we recoil quite so much during a sporting event (we were all sad when they had to shoot Joe in the lockerroom afterwards, weren't...
Barbaro Cheats; Injures Leg; Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice
The Preakness has come to an end, and there was very little drama involved in determining that there will not be a Triple Crown winner this year. Barbaro jumped out of the gate early and tried to get a head start. He had to be calmed a little bit, and they got him back in the gate. When they start...
Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...
Record For Stuffing Face With Pig Ass In Jeopardy
You're probably going to make fun of us here, but we consider competitive eating a sport. We do. We never had until we worked with writer Larry Getlen on his story "The Champions Of Consumption" for The Black Table, our old stomping grounds. The two-part series looked at the history of competitive...
This Is Why Everyone Needs To Synchronize Their Swatches
In Paris, earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever that time difference is), the IAAF — perhaps the most useless acronym in sports; it stands for International Association of Athletics Federations, which is kind like saying you have a Collection of Associated Alliances — announced that sprinter Ju...
Mike Tyson Wants It That Way
Honestly ... where would any of us be without Mike Tyson?****...
Ron Zook Rocks It, Dude, Totally
This picture, found by The Wizard Of Odds, features Illinois head football coach Ron Zook ... uh, well, we're not sure what he's doing there. The hand gesture? The crazed, intense look in the eyes? The (gasp) "athletic gear?"...
Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....
Justin Gatlin Can Haul
By no stretch of the imagination could I be considered a fan of track and field. Sure, every four years, I'll pay it some mind, but other than that, it's a little off the radar. But when a man breaks the world record by running 100 meters in 9.76 seconds, well, that'll grab your attention. Americ...
The Father, The Son And The Half Nelson
We're not sure this directly relates to sports, but it's close enough for government work: We proudly introduce you to the Christian Wrestling Federation. (Thanks to this probably isn't worth your time for the heads up.)...
Kids Bowl The Darndest Things
Kids. They leave their clothes everywhere, they're noisy as hell, and every time you take them bowling they show you up. It's embarrassing, really, when you're trying to impress that special lady with your skills on Lane 4, and over on Lane 6, some gnome is rolling a perfect game. Michael Tang of ...
Hey, He Wouldn't Have Complained About Playing Left
Yesterday, vice president Dick Cheney came out from his underground lair and threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals's home opener. As the video above shows, he was booed rather lustily. This could be because the crowd was mostly Democratic, or because Cheney's just not very popular, o...
The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...
We Love A Series That Leaves An Impression
First of all, who knew Superman batted from the left side? And is he gripping the bat correctly? And what's the deal with the catcher, who appears to have green hair? We can't answer any of these pressing questions, but we can shed some light on the recent beanball war between the Mets and Nationa...
Your Weekend Cycling Update
I know I've been a little lax in my cycling coverage here on Deadspin, but I got a good tip about an interesting finish in a pro cycling race this afternoon. Fabian Cancellara was the winner of the Paris-Roubaix race, which, explains a tipster, is to cycling as the Daytona 500 is to NASCAR. The 2n...
Masters Morning Mayhem
Golf was on at 8 a.m. this morning, which was a pretty good way to ensure that I wouldn't be watching it. But I missed some compelling action, it seems....