ing Page 590 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You're Not Going To Remember Any Of This Shit: <i>Joker,</i> Reviewed
“The feeling that the future does not exist, that it is only more of the same, means all utopias are meaningless. Literature has always been relegated to utopia, so when utopia loses meaning, so does literature.”...

Stefon Diggs Returns To Vikings Practice, Is Vague And Grumpy
While Vikings QB Kirk Cousins somewhat patched things up with his WR Adam Thielen on a podcast this week, the other prominent guy who catches his passes is in a different mood. Stefon Diggs, who was also frustrated about the offensive strategy during Sunday’s loss to the Bears, was absent from Wedne...

Right On Cue, Elena Delle Donne's Back Is All Screwed Up
Elena Delle Donne left Game 2 of the WNBA Finals with back spasms after just three minutes in the first quarter Tuesday night, not 24 hours after I (a blithering, cheeky idiot!) proclaimed the Washington Mystics more or less invincible. The Connecticut Sun managed to steal the game on Washington tur...

Rays Outfielder Excited To "Stick It To The Man," Fails To Realize "The Man" Is His Team's Owner
A shitty thing about baseball, stretching back to Bob Costas’s largely wrong-headed conditional invocation of socialism and beyond, way back into the sport’s dusty past, is it has a way of making the teams that pay their players lots of money out to be the bad guys. For one thing, those teams appear...

Jay Gruden Is Going To Get Fired, But He Has To Finish Eating This Giant Pile Of Shit First
Who the hell knows with the Skins. At the organizational level, they’ve spent the past 20 years blasting away at their own dicks with shotguns, and there is no reason to expect they’ll abandon the effort anytime between now and when the seas rise to reclaim Landover. Maybe they will name poor, haple...

Federal Government Investigating USA Swimming Over Sexual Abuse Claims And Alleged Shady Business Practices
The Wall Street Journal reported today that several federal government agencies are in the process of investigating USA Swimming, the sport’s national governing body, over a variety of alleged misdeeds, following a report last month that the U.S. Department of Justice was investigating several U.S. ...

Kirk Cousins Apologized To Adam Thielen For Being So Butt
Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins was very bad last Sunday, and wide receiver Adam Thielen, who finished the game with two receptions for six yards, saw his production suffer greatly for that badness. Thielen tried very hard to not say anything directly mean about Cousins after the game, but was inca...

Trent Grisham Isn't Going To Forget This One For A While
Trent Grisham, welcome to October. The 22-year-old midseason call-up, who was such a big part of the Brewers’ postseason push, especially after Christian Yelich went down, learned quickly and the hard way that the reason the crowds are bigger and louder is that every play’s import is magnified, and ...

Nationals Eliminate Brewers Thanks To Brutal, Brutal Outfield Error
The Milwaukee Brewers had it. They had it! For seven-plus innings, their pitchers successfully shut the Nationals down with a steady diet of high heat, and preserved a two-run lead that started to feel like 50 or 100 runs as the game progressed. The Brewers got to Josh Hader in the bottom of the eig...

The Mystics Lost Elena Delle Donne And, Obviously, They Lost Game 2
The Washington Mystics were likely feeling confident heading into Tuesday’s WNBA Finals Game 2, as they looked all-around fantastic in their Game 1 win against the Connecticut Sun. But just a few minutes into tonight’s match-up, the Mystics would experience a disturbing flashback to last year’s Fina...
![Banned Running Coach Alberto Salazar Briefed Nike CEO Mark Parker On Doping Efforts [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jgk3clbavhljkhtduinj.jpg)
Banned Running Coach Alberto Salazar Briefed Nike CEO Mark Parker On Doping Efforts [Update]
Nike Oregon Project coach Alberto Salazar had been suspected of plying his runners with shady and illegal performance enhancing substances for years before he was finally hit with a four-year ban by USADA for “orchestrating and facilitating prohibited doping conduct.” The agency’s report has also re...

Boban Marjanovic Enjoys State Fair Of Texas
Very tall man Boban Marjanovic, who signed with the Dallas Mavericks, is back in Texas. He wore an extra cool cowboy outfit to his team’s media day earlier this week, and he attended the State Fair of Texas this past weekend. A tipster sent along photos of Marjanovic playing a carnival game. He’s bo...

Nike Running Coach Alberto Salazar Hit With Four-Year Doping Ban By USADA
Legendarily shady running coach Alberto Salazar was given a four-year ban by the USADA Monday, for what it described as “orchestrating and facilitating prohibited doping conduct” while working for Nike as the head coach of the Nike Oregon Project. Dr. Jeffrey Brown, a consultant for the NOP, also r...

This Time Around, The Mystics Look Inevitable
Last September, the Washington Mystics skulked out of the WNBA Finals, having been swept in three games by the unstoppable Seattle Storm. A year later, the tables have turned. Elena Delle Donne has recovered from last year’s inconvenient knee injury; crafty Belgian forward Emma Meesseman is back aft...

I Love Everything About This Deshaun Watson Exchange With A Reporter
There’s a clip making the rounds that shows part of Deshaun Watson’s press conference following the Texans’ loss to the Panthers on Sunday, and it’s fantastic:...

Forget The WWE-AEW War For Minute: SmackDown's Fox Premiere Is A Big Fucking Deal
This week sure looks likely to be one of the more momentous in recent wrestling history. Most of the focus is on the emergence of the “Wednesday Night War,” and rightly so. It’s been a long time since WWE had another promotion to pick a fight with, and NXT expanding to two hours on USA Network to ba...

Adam Thielen Tries Very Hard To Not Say Anything Mean About His Bad Quarterback
Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins’s play through the first four games of this season has resembled his center’s pants after a few snaps. His biggest problem is that he struggles to throw a deep, accurate ball. Both the defense and his own receivers know it....

The Ballpark In Arlington Is The Kind Of Place Texas Always Loses
Everything in North Texas feels brand new. The roads are freshly paved. The high school football stadiums shine under their megawatt lights. The suburbs are littered with shopping malls, none of them more than 40 years old. There aren’t many trees, and even the grass has been planted, bought from Ho...

Mike Leach Bemoans Washington State Players For Being Too Much Like Mike Leach
Mike Leach talks about Washington State football the same way he shares tales of tracking raccoons, opinions on Halloween candy and tweets featuring a doctored video of President Barack Obama meant to rile up and confuse an older conservative base. That is to say he appears to do it without much tho...

Over 40 Percent Of Competitors Withdraw From World Championship Marathon Run In Sweltering Qatari Heat
Of the 68 competitors that started the women’s marathon at the World Athletics Championships, 28 ended up withdrawing by the end, with at least one runner getting taken away in an ambulance while another was spotted in a wheelchair. The high dropout rate came as a result of terrible weather conditio...