ing Page 591 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heroic Cycling World Champion Wins After Fixing His Own Dislocated Shoulder, Only For Officials To DQ Him Over Bullshit Rule Violation
The cycling world championships have been replete with heartbreak, and today provided the coup de grâce....
Cyclist Breaks Down After Having The Worst Luck Imaginable During Race
Germán Darió Gómez Becerra fell victim to a cruel fate at the UCI Road World Championships in Yorkshire. The 18-year-old represented Colombia in the junior men’s road race Thursday and was riding with a reduced pack about 80 kilometers from the finish when he suffered a crippling mechanical issue as...
Ah Hell, Just Watch Felix Hernandez Say Goodbye And Have Yourself A Cry
There’s not really anything that can be said that will improve your experience of watching the video clip below, so I’ll just get out of the way and let you do that....
Derby County Captain Richard Keogh Out For Season Due To Injury Suffered In Drunken Car Accident
Richard Keogh, the 33-year-old Irish national who also captains Derby County in the English Championship, is likely to be remembered as a grim cautionary tale for years to come. What is it that’s going to have people ruefully saying, “Oh yeah, I remember that guy!” years from now? Unfortunately for ...
Athlete Yearns For Return To Warm, Encouraging Embrace Of Philadelphia Sports Fans
In a sign that the universe still has a couple utterly unprecedented tricks hidden up its sleeves, an athlete announced Wednesday that he is eager to be back among Philadelphia sports fans because of how appreciative and encouraging they are, as a group, relative to another set of sports fans....
Not For The First Time, Aaron Judge Leaves Starstruck Children Weeping
“Psh,” you say. “Athletes regularly leave their fans in tears. This isn’t news! Move on, find a new slant.” That is true. Please don’t remind me of Brandon Inge’s ‘09 Home Run Derby outing. What we’ve got here, though, is a case of the happy tears. The medical way of explaining this is that children...
Columbia University Wipes Out Its Delightfully Chaotic Marching Band For Bullcrap Reasons
Sad, dispiriting news from the world of college marching bands: Columbia University effectively disbanded its wonderfully anarchic and mischievous marching band Wednesday, after years and years spent actively antagonizing the group and suppressing its creativity. The university communicated to the s...
Melvin Gordon's Failed Holdout Is Over
Three weeks into the regular season, Chargers running back Melvin Gordon has ended his holdout and is planning to return to the team on Thursday, according to Ian Rapoport....
Domingo Germán Out For Postseason As MLB Continues Domestic Violence Investigation
New York Yankees starter Domingo Germán has been out on paid administrative leave since last Thursday, after MLB announced that the league was investigating him under the league’s domestic violence policy. That leave could last up to seven days before MLB could choose to either suspend Germán, reins...
Huge Puddles At The Cycling World Championships Are Causing Some Awful Crashes
The world cycling championships have been taking place in Yorkshire, England over the past few days, and befitting an event in fall in England, it’s been rainy as hell. Riding a time trial bike in wet conditions like this is particularly difficult, and big puddles claimed several U-23 men’s riders d...
Stop Calling It "Gaslighting"
“Lie” is a great word. It’s a short, to-the-point noun with a universally agreed upon meaning that we all learn before we even enter kindergarten. Call someone a liar, and any English-speaker in the world will require no clarification—they’ll know that someone isn’t telling the truth....
If The NBA's Itching To Investigate Something, It Should Look At The Orlando Magic
The NBA has promised to crack down on tampering and salary cap circumvention, rolling out new rules and talking a big game about ramped-up enforcement. So far the league has done really noble work, punishing the Milwaukee Bucks for noting that their own player, Giannis Antetokounmpo, will be offered...
Let's Remember Some Guys: "Is That Rick Honeycutt?"
First things first: hell yeah buddy, that is indeed Rick Honeycutt....
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Tempting Fate In A Hype Video
Nobody’s heard much from Markelle Fultz since he was traded to the Orlando Magic last February, which is probably for the best. Aside from getting healthy and rebuilding his shoddily rebuilt jump shot from the ground up, what Fultz needed most was some time out of the spotlight. That time appears to...
Liz Cambage Talked Trash To The Washington Mystics And They Gave It Right Back To Her
After dropping 28 points in a dominant Game 3 semifinals win, Las Vegas Aces center Liz Cambage flexed on her opponents, saying in her postgame interview, “If they can’t handle it, get in the weight room or get out of the post.” The Washington Mystics heeded her advice. ...
The Deadspin 100: NBA Players, Ranked
It’s that time of year again, hoops fans! The NFL season is in full swing, baseball’s playoffs start next week, and the NBA regular season won’t tip off for another month. You know what that means: It’s time to rank the top 100 active NBA players!...
Find Something You Can Enjoy As Much As Brian Dozier Enjoys Twerking While Soaked In Budweiser
The Nationals clinched a National League Wild Card berth Tuesday, via a doubleheader sweep of the Phillies. It’s not exactly a towering accomplishment—it earns them one do-or-die game and nothing more—but it’s worth remembering that the Nationals were at one point 19–31 on the season and looking tot...
Even In Defeat, Bryce Harper Owns The Hell Out Of Hunter Strickland
A funny moment occurred in the seventh inning of Tuesday night’s game between the Washington Nationals and the Philadelphia Phillies. Bryce Harper, pinch-hitting in the night game after starting the first leg of today’s doubleheader, came to the plate to face Nationals reliever and personal nemesis ...
The NBA's Traveling Rule Tweak Doesn't Fix Its Real Traveling Problem
The NBA Board of Governors tweaked the rule book last week in order to, among other things, “help eliminate the gap between the [traveling] rule as written and how it has been applied in NBA games,” according to a summary distributed by the league. The tweak defines the concept of the gather, which ...
Milwaukee Bucks Fined For Observing That Reigning MVP, Whom They Employ, Will Be Offered Lots Of Money Next Summer
The possibility that the NBA’s dumb new tampering rules would be enforced in the dumbest possible fashion has quickly come to fruition. Per a league press release today, the Milwaukee Bucks have been fined $50,000 for “violating league rules governing the timing of discussions regarding future playe...