ing Page 920 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What To Expect The First Time You Jump Out Of A Plane
The truth is, no one can tell you what skydiving is like, because it’s not like anything else. But with an unreserved recommendation that you try it yourself, maybe I can clear up some of the mystery surrounding the peripheral experience, so you’ll have more time to worry about your impending death....
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Vin Scully Explains Yogi Berra-Related Reason Don Mattingly Isn't Wearing A Jacket Tonight
You know Vin Scully—whose broadcasting career overlapped with Yogi Berra’s playing career for an astonishing 16 seasons—has a wealth of Berra stories, but his tribute to Berra on tonight’s broadcast began simply enough: “As long as people talk about the game, whenever they mention the name Yogi Berr...
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Massachusetts Man Cannot Handle Seeing A Sunfish: "What The Fuck Is That, Kid?"
At first, it’s reasonable to think that this video’s protagonist, a man from Malden, is laying the Massachusetts accent on a little thick as he reacts to seeing a sunfish in the water. Oh man, Jay, it’s dead, bro, or somethin’! Michael Bergin’s interview with the Boston Globe basically confirms that...
Washington Football Fan Group Stars In World's Saddest Vine
I’m not sure what’s going on with Washington’s social media manager today, but there’s a good chance he or she woke up and said something along the lines of, “I’d really like to make the saddest Vine in the history of the internet today.”...
Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...
Boxer Dresses Up Like Batman, Fights The Joker At Press Conference
Tyson Fury, a British boxer who is set to get his face punched off by Wladimir Klitschko, thought it would be cool to dress up like Batman for the pre-fight press conference and wrassle with another guy who dressed up like the Joker. ...
Mario Balotelli Has Pretty Bad Hair, Scores A Pretty Good Goal
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:...
The NCAA Has No Idea What To Do About Daily Fantasy
At their annual meeting earlier this week, the hot topic among D1 athletic directors was the rise of daily fantasy sports, and what—if anything—the NCAA can or should do about it. The early returns from the meeting indicate that the NCAA wants daily fantasy to be considered gambling, and thus ban pl...
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
Ragnar Is Holding Out For $20,000 A Game
Fans noticed a distinct lack of of Ragnar, the biker viking mascot, at Minnesota’s first home game this weekend. That led the Vikings to issue a statement yesterday confirming that Ragnar, absent for the first time since 1993, isn’t there because the team can’t agree with him on how much loot and pl...
A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....
Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre's Friendly Rivalry Is Still The Best
The best thing about any game between the Rangers and Mariners is the likelihood that it will involve Felix Hernandez and Adrian Beltre joking around and talking shit to each other. They do this all the time, and last night was no different:...
Did Chip Kelly Outsmart Himself?
The Eagles are 0-2, and although it’s certainly unfair to write off a team after two games, you wouldn’t blame Eagles fans for looking at Chip Kelly with eyebrows raised as high as they’ll go. Is this—a completely dysfunctional squad that can’t be bothered to beat a Cowboys team down Tony Romo and D...
WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]
Dumbasses trying to make scripted grappling “real to them” have increased their attempts to invade the pro wrestling ring, and one such Idiot made it in as a pretend secret guest on tonight’s WWE pay-per-view (the real secret: Chris Jericho). His reward? The usual: getting sacked by WWE security....