injuries Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Human Knees Do Not Bend That Way
Your morning roundup for Feb. 8, the day we were shanked to death by our own cock....

Marquis Daniels Welcomes You To The 18-Game Football Season
Yesterday, while many of you were watching Bill O'Reilly interview Frank Caliendo impersonating Sam Elliott, a basketball game took place during which a scary thing happened to reserve Celtics guard Marquis Daniels. He's expected out for at least a month with a bruised spinal cord. Yikes. [Boston Gl...

Here's Video Of A Snowmobile Hitting An X-Games Race Official Today
There's nothing about this snowmobile-vs.-guy collision on ESPN's site yet, but the X-Games Snowmobile SnoCross Final results list Bobby LePage finishing 15th out of 15. Here's the race recap video. Hope dude's alright....

All The Nut Shots Fit To Print
This is Regressing, a new, numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: What injuries got the most press in 2010?...

This Isn't How You're Supposed To Lift A Guy On A Stretcher
I don't know who this player is or how he hurt himself, but I do know this video is about five Leslie Nielsen movies rolled into one. [Via Twitter]...

Weekend Winner: Jay Cutler, Safety Last
All the furor over Jay Cutler spending the second half on the bench is proof positive that the battle for player safety is an uphill one, and won't be solved with posters and PSAs....

"No Limits" Snowmobile-Jump Record Attempt Limited By Snowmobile-Jump Injury
The ESPN/Red Bull "New Year. No Limits" event at which snowmobiler Levi LaVallee planned to break a world record by jumping over 301.5 feet of water was canceled after wing-less LaVallee crashed during practice. [SignOnSanDiego]...

Wilson Chandler's Tooth Almost Ended David Lee's Career
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: David Lee's owie could have been much worse....

Wrestling Confronts The "Finger Up The Ass" Menace
A perfectly legal move has landed a high school wrestler in court, charged with a sex crime. What exactly constitutes the feared but misunderstood "butt drag?"...

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...

Our First Pie-Related Injury Of The Season Not Involving Prince Fielder
Chris Coghlan heads to the DL, and could need surgery for a torn meniscus suffered while smushing a shaving cream pie in Wes Helms's face after another Marlins walk-off win. The cake vs. pie debate claims another victim. [MLB.com]...

Won't You Please Help Protect Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Russell Branyan is day-to-day after stubbing his toe while closing the curtains. Mat Latos goes on the DL with a strain suffered while attempting to hold back a sneeze. This is where you lie and claim a tranny hooker beat you up....

Luke Scott Injures Himself During Home Run Trot
When a bat breaks while getting a hit, they say "it died a hero." Luke Scott's pulled hamstring, suffered in the act of helping a last place team eke out a win, is just a martyr for a lost cause....

This Week In Horrifying Leg Injuries
In case you missed it, there were a couple of real leg-cracking beauties this weekend. One happened to an MLS goalie and the other a minor MMA fighter, so yeah, you probably missed it. Click if you dare....

Stories That Could Have Been Written Three Months Ago: Nick Johnson's Injury May Require Surgery
Brian Cashman crossed his fingers and hoped Nick Johnson would last more than a month, but it appears right after the deal was signed Johnson walked under a ladder and broke a mirror in a room full of black cats. [NYT]...

Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....

Last Night's Winner: Ankle Doctors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like our nation's orthopedic specialists, who now hold the entire world in their hands like a big blue swollen ankle....

Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...