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Marshawn Lynch Dives Into "End Zone" Full Of Skittles On <i>Conan</i>
The notably media-reluctant Marshawn Lynch has been popping up on TV a bit more in the offseason, and was Conan O’Brien’s guest tonight as the late night talker set up an “end zone” full of Skittles for the star running back to dive backward into. He even did his signature dick grab....
It's Time Again To Watch Alex Trebek Rap: Now, The <i>Fresh Prince</i> Theme
Alex Trebek is no stranger to rapping on Jeopardy!, and America’s favorite former Canadian took on the flow tonight when lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song turned up in a first round category. He got in one little fight, and his mom got scared....
The Plan For An All-Royals All-Star Lineup Has Gone To Hell
Barring a miracle, the AL All-Star lineup won’t end up as eight Kansas City Royals and Mike Trout. The dream is over....
Bill Walton's Following Grateful Dead's Final Tour, And It's A Delight
NBA Hall of Famer Bill Walton claims to have 854 Grateful Dead shows under his belt, so of course he’s going to follow the band around as it plays its five final concerts....
Orbit Just <i>Loooooves</i> Baseball
We’re not sure what mascot Orbit is doing here, but it doesn’t much look like we imagine what the Astros planned it to....
No, Of Course That UFC Guy Didn't Yell About "Not For Gay Jesus" On TV
Does “Go for Jesus, not for gay Jesus, people!” sound like a plausible, idiomatic form of religious trolling to you, or does it maybe seem like the sort of infantilized structure that’s easy to map onto a non-native speaker’s syntax and pronunciation? ...
US Track & Field Championships Simmering Til Done
Eugene, Ore., where the USA Track & Field National Championship is underway, is gripped in a heat wave. The steamy conditions produce a nice muscle-loosening affect on athletes whose events last less than 60 seconds, but it’s been less accommodating for the distance events. The preliminary rounds of...
France Built The World's Best Women's Soccer Team And Still Lost
Not even a minute into last night’s highly-anticipated, criminally-premature title fight that was France vs. Germany, Les Bleues were off on one of their typical jaunts towards goal, one that exemplified everything that makes them such a special team....
President Obama Took Me To Church Today
My parents came of age in the ’60s and ’70s, and so they remember when blacks weren’t allowed to vote, and all the speeches and marches and blood that went into that fight, and all that came after. They did okay for themselves, got married, and moved out to the suburbs to do the whole American Dream...
Pool Bear Is Getting This Summer Started Right
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but summer is here, my friend. It is officially here....
Justin Gatlin Doesn't Owe You Anything
Imagine if David Ortiz were briefly suspended for doping in the minors, let off after it turned out that he had a convincing excuse, and then suspended again for four years after testing positive in November 2007, just after winning the World Series. Imagine that Papi came back a little rusty, but w...
Vikings CB: Same-Sex Marriage Ruling One Step Closer To Legal Pedophilia
The Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal across the nation today. Minnesota Vikings cornerback Josh Robinson unwisely decided to express his opinion that the ruling represents the height of a slippery slope leading to the legalization of pedophilia and incest:...
The Knicks' Selection Of Kristaps Porzingis, In Four Images
Tonight the New York Knicks drafted Latvian forward Kristaps Porzingis with the fourth overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft. Here are some images of Knicks fans reacting to this selection....
Cop Olympics To Open In Fairfax County, Va., Where Killer Cops Go Free
Anybody afraid of law enforcement should stay out of Northern Virginia for the next few weeks. And anybody familiar with the police in Northern Virginia should be afraid....
Fuck This Bear: <i>Ted 2</i>,<i> </i>Reviewed
1. How sincere is Sincere Seth MacFarlane? I know I’m a dope for even asking—associating a genuine emotion with such a sniggering clown is a sucker’s bet—but I really do want to know. Because Ted 2 has moments, lots of moments, that it seems to play completely straight, as if we are watching an actu...
Amy Poehler And Seth Meyers Burn <i>SI</i> Writer Who Dislikes Women's Sports
On Monday, Sports Illustrated writer Andy Benoit sent a dumb tweet in which he expressed his disdain for all women’s sports, including the Women’s World Cup. This did not go unnoticed by Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, who dusted off their great old SNL bit on last night’s episode of Late Night and wen...
Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling
Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and no...
Marathoning With Wolves
In trying to expunge the newest reports and associated mental images of Alberto Salazar massaging Galen Rupp late at night with Alpha Male, perhaps in the invigorating new Down By The River scent, I came across this bit of fresh air....