it Page 868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch Mikhail Prokhorov Do Insane Billionaire Gymnastics In His Technicolor Forest Dojo
Remember when Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov showed up at a team practice and gave his players an unbelievably awkward demonstration of his wall-dribbling drills? As it turns out, those drills were not simply the invention of one man’s wealth-addled mind, but part of a martial art known as Tescao, whi...
Here Is A Braces Horror Story Worse Than The One Keith Hernandez Used To Traumatize A Young Girl Tonight
Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez took it upon himself tonight to horrify a poor girl with the story of the time his braces were smashed into his lips during a game of pick-up basketball, which required several painful hours of recovery work by the school nurse:...
Bearded Baby Clay Travis Complains About Airline Turning Away His Lice-Ridden Kid
Clay Travis, a Fox Sports contributor and man who has tried to build his latest persona around the phrase “Don’t be a pussy,” spent over 2,800 words complaining on his blog because an airline wouldn’t let his son, who had lice, fly on the plane....
TV Pranksters Sued By Station Owner, And They Need Your Help
Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher, maybe the only good pranksters in the world, are responsible for bringing you the joy of yo-yo master K-Strass, bad cook Chef Keith, and strongmen Chop and Steele. And now they’re being sued by the company that owns one of the local stations who put them on the air. The...
White Sox Call Up Top Prospect (And Twinkie Lover) Yoan Moncada<em></em><em></em>
Yoan Moncada, the 22-year-old Cuban second baseman, will make his first major-league appearance for the White Sox tonight, acting in essence as the first ambassador for the Sox’s now extremely stacked farm system and offering Sox fans their first glimpse of a future the team has promised will have b...
White Sox Add To Prospect Stash While <em></em>Sending Todd Frazier, David Robertson And Tommy Kahnle To Yankees
The White Sox are sending all three of their most heavily rumored trade chips—third baseman Todd Frazier and relievers David Robertson and Tommy Kahnle—to the Yankees in exchange for prospects Blake Rutherford, Ian Clarkin and Tito Polo plus, uh, Tyler Clippard. ...
White Sox Announcer Who Rejected Fried Pickle Also Rejects Frozen Turkey
The Chicago White Sox are playing the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are pitching Clayton Kershaw, tonight. Let’s talk about what happened Friday night, when Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti presented color man Steve Stone, who previously rejected a fried pickle, with a frozen turkey on his 70th birthda...
Tigers Officially Become Sellers, Send J.D. Martinez To Arizona
Pretty much every good player on the Tigers has been thrown out as a potential trade candidate this month, but Detroit made its first official move of the season Tuesday night, sending J.D. Martinez to the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for three prospects....
Titleist Sues Seller Of Parody “Titties” Merchandise
I Made Bogey is an online golf apparel company that sells products with slogans you’d expect to see on the Wildwood boardwalk. There are a series of t-shirts inspired by Happy Gilmore. There are red “MAKE GOLF GREAT AGAIN” hats. But the bulk of the products on the site are parodies of golf brand Tit...
MMA Fighter Loses After Barfing All Over The Cage
Last weekend, Michigan-based fight hosts KnockOut Promotions held something resembling an MMA bout between Jesse Reasoner and Sean Needham. It took place in the super heavyweight division and both amateur fighters weighed in at over 270 pounds. Although the fight was held on the water in Muskegon, M...
Cowboys Receiver's Missing Dog Returned By Rapper Boogotti Kasino
Yesterday, Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead alerted the world to the fact that his adorable dog, Blitz, had been stolen from his home and was being held for ransom. Blitz was safely returned last night, but not before falling into the hands of a local rapper named Boogotti Kasino, who vehementl...
Stephen Vogt Leaves Game After Frightening Home-Plate Collision With Chad Kuhl
Brewers catcher Stephen Vogt was pulled from tonight’s game against the Pirates after a rough collision at the plate with Pittsburgh pitcher Chad Kuhl....
No Contracts For Kirk Cousins And Le'Veon Bell. Now What?
The NFL’s franchise tag deadline came and went at 4 p.m. ET with no new contracts for Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins, Pittsburgh running back Le’Veon Bell, and Rams cornerback Trumaine Johnson. If you’re wondering what that means for them and their teams, I can explain....
Cowboys Receiver Says His Dog Is Being Held For Ransom
Here’s a fucked-up story to ruin your Monday afternoon: Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead claims that his dog, a very cute pit bull pup named Blitz, has been stolen from his home and is currently being held for ransom....
Billy Beane Admits That Being An A's Fan Is Hell
Yesterday, the Oakland A’s traded relievers Sean Doolittle and Ryan Madson to the Washington Nationals in exchange for reliever Blake Treinen and two minor leaguers. It’s no great crime for an out-of-contention team to unload two aging but valuable relievers—Doolittle and Madson boast 2.35 and 2.43 ...
Showtime™ Presents: Misogyny, Racism, And Homophobia<em></em>
You don’t have to pick a side between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor. Floyd’s an unapologetic abuser of women and the Internal Revenue Service, while Conor is a racist dipshit. Last week’s circus of publicity stunts rightfully damaged both parties’ reputations, but another one, curiously, h...
Mike Finds New Mike Named Trey
The Mikes of ESPN’s Mike & Mike will soon split apart and become simply Mike and Mike, and reports out of Mikeville have indicated that the Mikes don’t really like each other. Both Mikes insisted that they were cool despite the rumblings and the imminent end of Mike & Mike, and now ESPN has finally ...
The Rangers Lost A Game Because Of The Punk-Ass Sun
With the scored tied at three in the bottom of the ninth, Rangers reliever Jason Grilli was in a bases-loaded, two-out jam. If he could get Royals outfielder Lorenzo Cain out, the Rangers would escape to extra innings and keep their hopes at winning the game alive. Grilli got Cain to hit a catchable...
Pirates Fan Tosses Cardinals Home Run Ball Into The Goddamn River Where It Belongs
You know where a Jedd Gyorko home run ball belongs?...
White Sox Announcer: "We Have No Budget Left For The Second Half Of The Season"
While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to...