it Page 869 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Sox Announcer: "We Have No Budget Left For The Second Half Of The Season"
While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to...
Mayweather Drops The Word "Faggot" On McGregor In The Press Tour From Hell
Mercifully, the Mayweather-McGregor Press Extravaganza From Hell is reaching its conclusion this evening, after a week of toxic shit talking and a week of general stupid bullshit. Yesterday’s lowlight was McGregor bragging about how having a big dick made him half-black before humping the air as a t...
Track Athlete Blamed "Frequent And Passionate" Kissing For Failed Drug Test
In June, an independent arbitrator cleared U.S. track athlete Gil Roberts of wrongdoing after he tested positive for a banned substance in March, though few details of the case were made public. Now, thankfully, the USADA has released the report in all its glory for our collective enjoyment and know...
Dennis Smith Jr. Is An Athletic Marvel
You’d be foolish to take away too much from how a rookie plays in NBA Summer League. Sometimes future stars like Damian Lillard can announce themselves with huge Summer League performances, but for every Lillard there are a dozen Donte Greenes who show out on the small stage then quickly fade away o...
So You Know How To Win. Why Should You?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the following tweet, by, I gather, some Democratic Party-aligned liberal guy who writes for something called Shareblue, since it was posted yesterday. It makes me feel extremely bummed out and lost:...
Fallen Wonderteen Adnan Januzaj Leaves Manchester United
On Wednesday, with little fanfare, Manchester United sent Adnan Januzaj to La Liga’s Real Sociedad, only getting 8 million pounds in return for the 22-year-old winger....
KatyPerrysBootyHole And Wetbutt23 Broke The Jose Quintana Trade
The White Sox’s trade of starter Jose Quintana to the Cubs for four minor leaguers went down with remarkable secrecy, with no leaks and no rumors that the teams were even working on it. (It later emerged that Rick Hahn and Theo Epstein ducked backstage at the All-Star FanFest to talk business.) Wel...
White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....
Taxpayer-Funded Detroit Arena Now Sports Massive, Hideous Corporate Ad
The taxpayer-funded new sports arena in Detroit that is not named after Gordie Howe unveiled a new “feature” Tuesday, one that will now dominate any aerial view of Detroit on every TV broadcast in the foreseeable future. The roof of the new arena features a gigantic, ugly logo for a third-rate pizza...
White Sox Writer Believes Team's First Half Was Not As Bad As It Could Have Been
The Chicago White Sox are 38-49; their last game before the All-Star break was a 10-0 loss to the Colorado Rockies in which they were two outs away from getting no-hit in the most hitter-friendly ballpark in the majors. The team is last in the AL Central. Pitcher José Quintana is on the trading bloc...
Here's 20 Seconds Of Profoundly Terrible Soccer
Remember this 1993 Premier League match between Queens Park Rangers and Manchester City? Me neither, but an Italian magazine broke it down and deemed a portion of it as the worst 20 seconds of soccer ever....
Astros' Alex Bregman Deletes Account After Sending DMs To Critic
Houston Astros third baseman Alex Bregman is currently batting .256 in the majors and .000 in online fan interactions. Last weekend, Bregman was apparently searching his name on Twitter, where he seemed to have found the tweets of @AllenH83. Allen was not wholly enamored by Bregman; his tame opinion...
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I'm Sick Of Dana White's Fat, Sweaty Head
Yesterday, Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather kicked off the Let’s All Pretend Conor McGregor Isn’t Going To Get His Ass Kicked press tour for their fight on August 26. The first press conference ended with the two fighters facing off and talking shit, which would have been fun to see if not for th...
Calvin Johnson Says He Retired Because The Lions Weren't Going Anywhere
In the year since Calvin Johnson unexpectedly retired from the NFL at age 30, the wide receiver has hinted at some displeasure with the Detroit Lions, mostly over the team’s attempt to recoup his signing bonus, but he’d never indicated that the Lions had anything to do with him walking away from the...
How Up-And-Coming Runner Hannah Fields Found Her Groove
Carolyn Helker’s daughter, Hannah, is quite competitive. She gets that from her father, Eddy. When Hannah was young, her dad coached her soccer team and challenged the kids to juggle a soccer ball 100 times. Knob-kneed and determined, Hannah did it. Then he sweetened the deal, saying he’d pay anyone...
MMA Reporter Ariel Helwani Says UFC Booted Him From McGregor-Mayweather Press Tour
Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are embarking on a short world press tour to promote their very dumb fight next month, and it kicks off today in Los Angeles. UFC czar Dana White will be there, but the most prominent member of the MMA media will no longer be working the event for Showtime....
This New Batch Of <i>Kevin Can Wait </i>Fan Theories Is Truly Unbelievable
After a lengthy layoff, the nation’s favorite TV show is coming back, and with it, the return of intense fan scrutiny, wild theorizing, and mass pandemonium....