ja Page 366 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LeBron James Has Gone Full Vacation Dad
If you’ve ever been on a vacation at a tropical resort, you’ve seen a Vacation Dad. He’s the guy who is sitting alone at the poolside bar, a little buzzed, smoking his annual cigar—he was sent to the bar by his wife who didn’t want him smoking that crap around her—really enjoying the music, and eage...
White Sox Allow Rajai Davis To Steal As Many Bases As He Pleases
The Chicago White Sox finished up a three-game trip to Oakland with a 7-4 loss. Mike Pelfrey didn’t pitch well and Avisail Garcia went 0-for-4, only looking at nine pitches in the process. However, catcher Kevan Smith had the worst night of the bunch, as he allowed former World Series home run-hitte...
Nick Young Makes Perfect Sense On The Warriors
The most whimsical and doomed NBA teams in recent memory were those Washington Wizards squads between 2008 and 2012 that featured Gilbert Arenas pooping in teammates’s shoes, JaVale McGee fucking up all over the court, and Nick Young pulling up and laying bricks about 20 times a game. Thanks to the ...
It Sucks To Be The Utah Jazz
A little over eight weeks ago, before the Golden State Warriors summarily swept them out of the second round of the playoffs, you could squint at the Utah Jazz and see the outline of a team that might spend the next five years angling to lose in the conference finals, rather than in the first or sec...
Tennis Fans Tussle Over A Sweaty Towel
At Wimbledon, the most decorous of all the major tournaments, a squabble over a player’s sweaty towel, flung into the crowd at the end of a match, has the tennis world all worked up....
Let's See How Jazz Fans Are Taking The Gordon Hayward Signing
After a few hours of genuine confusion, Gordon Hayward signed with the Boston Celtics last night. This is obviously a tough blow for the Jazz, who won 51 games last season and were looking to cement a place near the top of the Western Conference for years to come, with Hayward leading them. Now they...
Gordon Hayward Is Going To The Celtics (For Real This Time)
After a few glorious hours of confusion, Gordon Hayward has at last ended the speculation about his future by announcing that he will be signing with the Boston Celtics with an article on The Players’ Tribune....
Nobody Knows Where Gordon Hayward Is Going
What the hell is going on right now?...
Report: Fox Sports Head Fired In Sexual Harassment Probe<em></em>
Fox Sports has fired president of national networks Jamie Horowitz, according to Sports Business Journal’s John Ourand. ...
Wolves Trade Ricky Rubio To Jazz And The Point Guard Shuffle Has Begun
Are you ready for the point guard shuffle? The first domino is a trade sending Ricky Rubio to Utah in exchange for a lottery-protected first-round pick....
Jeff Hornacek: Now We're Going To Do Things That Actually Make Sense
It wasn’t so long ago that Knicks head coach Jeff Hornacek, then presiding over the latest lost season in New York, stood in front of reporters and told them that it was a mistake to try to combine his own offensive concepts with Phil Jackson’s favored Triangle system, and implied that the team woul...
Someone Give Jaromir Jagr A Dang Phone Call
Jaromir Jagr played pretty well, not just for a 45-year-old, but for any hockey player in 2017. He notched 16 goals and 30 assists for the Florida Panthers, and Jagr was first on the team in net on-ice shot attempts. As the season went on and Jagr kept skating in every game, the old man’s remark tha...
Will The Han Solo Movie Suck?<em></em>
Last week the Star Wars braintrust shitcanned directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller from the upcoming Han Solo spinoff movie, and replaced them with longtime Ron “Opie Cunningham is a BASTARD” Howard. Should this concern the LEGENDARY FANS OF STAR WARS NATION, or does this movie still have a chance t...
Pro Cyclist Apologizes For Lame Jokes About Fucking The Podium Girls
Jan Bakelants, most famous for winning the first stage of the 2013 Tour de France and wearing the yellow jersey for a spell, is going to this year’s Tour for AG2R La Mondiale, and he wants everyone to know he’s really horny....
The Rockets Might Not Be Done Making Moves
The Houston Rockets officially announced their acquisition of Chris Paul at a press conference yesterday, and GM Daryl Morey was pretty explicit about what the team’s goals are for next season. Trading for Paul might just be the beginning....
Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan Sentenced To Community Service, Banned From MLB Games
The Canadian legal system has reached a conclusion in the Great Beer-Throwing Incident of the 2016 American League Wild Card game....
The Future Of Fox Sports Is A Snake Eating Its Tail, Shitting It, And Eating It
Words: They’re so pesky. You might be reading this right now while thinking, Why should I have to move my eyes to understand the stuff on the screen? It’s truly unfair. Can’t there be a better way? Good news: Jamie Horowitz, the media executive who brought you ESPN’s Embrace Debate era and assembled...
Now That Phil Jackson Is In The Toilet, Let's Laugh At The Triangle Offense<em></em>
There was never anything particularly special about the Triangle offense. It was just another offense, even in its heyday....
Holy Smokes, The Rockets Just Traded For Chris Paul
Adrian Wojnarowski has blessed this slow Wednesday morning with a Woj bomb: Chris Paul is being traded to the Houston Rockets. What?!...
The Knicks Are Done With Phil Jackson
Knicks fans are perhaps permanently broken and unable to experience joy. But they can still find a reasonable simulacrum of it in relief. Phil Jackson, after three years of somehow making a terrible, dispirited, dysfunctional franchise even worse in all categories, is out as team president....