ja Page 669 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Patrick Bites Back (Softly) At Jason Whitlock
Unamused by Jason Whitlock's "Football Night In America" take-down piece, Dan Patrick fired back at the mighty Whitlock today on his radio show. Patrick was pretty reserved, but seemed a little miffed at how he was painted by Whitlock as a person "who doesn't care about football." Patrick said on ai...

Clearly, He's Not Called Mr. October Because Of Sukkot
Determined to make his All-Star game visit to New York as uncomfortable as possible, the New York Post is reporting that former Yankee Reggie Jackson might have a little bit of a sensitivity problem when it comes to his Hebrew friends....

The Evolution Of Jason Whitlock: Writer Unloads On "Football Night In America", But Lightens Up About Gangsta Rap
Kansas City Star/Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock must have inhaled a larger portion of hater-tots than his usual allotment before he sat down to write this column about NBC's revamped "Football Night In America" lineup. Whitlock, like many other media members, is skeptical of adding Patrick into...

Jelena Jankovic Gets Proactive About That Not-So-Fresh Feeling
You know, back in the days before I was married it used to take panties coming off to get me excited. Now panties going on does the trick just as well. In related news noted women's right advocate Justin Gimelstob announced that all women should play without panties on the WTA....

Take A Tour Of Figjam Palace
The palatial 4.55-acre estate you see here is golfer Phil Mickelson's home in Rancho Sante Fe, Calif — and it could all be yours. Ignore all that subprime slowdown gloom and doom — this is an absolute steal. Priced between $10,750,000 - $12,225,876, it includes a spa, two guesthouses, a putting gree...

Dunks As Life Changers
We’ve all seen dunks that left us speechless. Especially if you witnessed them in person. I knew this was true, sort of vaguely, but that realization crystallized for me when I read Bruce Feldman’s article about a then unknown Tracy McGrady throwing down on a top basketball recruit, James Felton....

In Which I Develop A Sudden Interest In Track
Our infatuation with University of California pole vaulter Allison Stokke was real at one time, but it seems so childish these days. Simply put, we're over you, Allison. We've moved on (the restraining order helped). Yes, new romance is in the air: Meet Jennifer Mueller, a freshman sprinter at USC w...

Matt Jones: The Cocaine Won't Make You Faster, Son
Jacksonville (LA?) Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones was busted in Arkansas for cocaine and marijuana possession early this morning. Jones, the former Razorback's quarterback who switched to wide receiver to help his NFL draft stock, was pinched last night along with a carload of other dudes in a sha...

Iranian National Team To Play Utah Jazz. I See No Way This Can End Badly
Before it heads over to Beijing to compete in Olympic basketball competition, the Iranian national squad will play a series of exhibition games against NBA summer league teams at Salt Lake Community College. The Islamic Republic of Iran playing in Utah; kind of makes that North Carolina-Duke rivalry...

Are You Offended By ESPN?
That's the question posed by MarketWatch columnist Jon Friedman, who gives the WWL a thorough Bissingering based on the recent "lowbrow or boorish behavior" of some of ESPN's talent. Specifically, the incidents involving Jemele Hill, Dana Jacobson, and Bonnie Bernstein, respectively. Friedman's piec...

American Mustache Institute Backs Giambi
In a stunning coup for the Giambi All-Star Campaign the AMI has taken a break from their mission statement of "Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache," to endorse the Yankees slugger....

Let's Start Guessing Where LeBron Will Play In Two Years
The summer of 2010. That's when LeBron James will shun Northeast Ohio, get a plane ticket, head to New York City, play basketball, and win a championship with either the Knicks, the Nets, or an amalgamation of the relocated Memphis Grizzlies and Los Angeles Clippers, the Long Island Clizzers....

Ron Jaworski: Yes, I Know I Look Like An Old Lesbian
Former Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback and current Monday Night Football analyst, Ron Jaworski, is well aware that he's not winning any "Most Masculine Bifocals" awards anytime soon. In fact, he promises that the specs he'll don this year won't have so many people confusing him with Sally Jesse Ra...

Jack Kent Cooke's Daughter Has Lots Of Moxie, Little Class
The daughter of former Redskins owner Jack Kent Cooke is a feisty little lassie named Jacqueline Kent Cooke and, like most millionaire heiresses, she seems to have a problem with authority and a staggering sense of entitlement. That would explain why she sued the executors of her beloved dead fat...

Jelena Jankovic Not Doing Any Splits After Today's Performance
Not a good week for highly-ranked Serbian women, as third-ranked superstar Jelena Jankovic went down in the fourth round this morning at Wimbledon. Jankovic, known for her salty toughness and her love of Lita Ford's wardrobe, was bounced by the 60th ranked player in early morning action....

Manny Ramirez Is Passionate About Free Tickets
I've seen The Amityville Horror enough times to know that something supernatural must be going in Houston's Minute Maid Park. First Shawn Chacon snaps and tackles Astros' GM Ed Wade in the home clubhouse, where an attempted strangling may or may not have occurred. Chacon was shipped to the North Pol...

Jason Giambi Has Become A '70s Porn King
Jason Giambi has dyed his mustache. That made this happen. Heavens to Betsy....

J.P. Ricciardi Meets The Jerky Boys
OK, so, to bring you up to date:...

The Fantasy Impact Of Steven Jackson's Cleansed Colon
During yesterday's story about Rams running back Steven Jackson and his messy colon cleanse, I questioned the potential fantasy football impact such a procedure would have on the top five running back. Thankfully, some of the wise men from Yahoo!'s Fantasy Football think tank decided it was worthy ...

One Of Javon Walker's Mystery Assailants Arrested
The puzzling kidnapping and subsequent knock-da-fuh-out-ing of Raiders' receiver Javon Walker has finally resulted in an arrest. Las Vegas police have arrested and charged 30-year-old Arfat Fadel and charged him with kidnapping, robbery and other felonies....