k Page 1978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Skins Are About To Officially Lose Another Bullcrap Attendance Streak
The news in this Washington Post report is less that the Skins will fail to sell out their home opener against the Colts Sunday—their streak of sellouts has been illegitimate garbage for literally years—and more that the Skins have reached such a state of desperation that they’re finally revealing, ...
![Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pu9hzqspmmhcfjy4yqes.png)
Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]
A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....
Steve Yzerman Is Leaving Tampa And Hell Yeah Motherfucker He Is Definitely Coming To Detroit
Mission accomplished! Mark it the hell down. Steve Yzerman is finally coming back home to Detroit to save the godforsaken Red Wings. At least, that’s the only logical conclusion one can draw from today’s news:...
Colorado Sports Fan's Plan To Rob Vape Store Falls Apart After He Drops Gun And Pants
This guy here, by appearances an avid Broncos and Rockies fan, spectacularly failed to rob an E-Cig of Denver store in Colorado on Sept. 2. Fumbling his gun over the counter was a bad start, and failing to secure his pants was a bad follow-up, although he did redeem himself somewhat with a super coo...
Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Shrugs, Gives Albert Breer "Leading Role" At The MMQB
As recently as a few months ago, Sports Illustrated insisted that no one person was going to take over for Peter King as the head of the MMQB, the magazine’s NFL website. It was somewhat surprising, then, to see MMQB writer Albert Breer announce in a press release today that he has been promoted to ...
Pitt Assistant Coach Says He Hasn't Left His Office Since Losing To Penn State, Prefers Flat Soda
Penn State trounced Pitt 51-6 last weekend, and nobody is taking that loss harder than Panthers tight ends coach Tim Salem. Fueled by a steady diet of carbonation-free, ice-cold chartreuse soda, Salem has spent the last few days in his office grinding non-stop. He hasn’t really slept at all, presuma...
Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked<em></em>
To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun...
So It's Come To This: An Ottawa Senators Blog
It is insane to me that we are only a year removed from the Senators coming within a game of the Stanley Cup Final. It is insane to me that so much has happened between then and now, including this and this but mostly the team’s threats to leave Ottawa and the team’s simmering contract beef with all...
Sam Darnold Fills The NFL's Poise-Shaped Hole
It was a mere nine years ago that a rookie Jets quarterback was so awe-inspiring in how he didn’t screw up that observers were only able to describe him with one word: poise. Well, Mark Sanchez now has a true heir. In last night’s season opener, first-year Jets QB Sam Darnold went 16-for-21 with 198...
There Is Nothing More American Than Burning Your Dumb Sneakers
“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the...
It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg
With 3:29 remaining in the fourth quarter and Nebraska leading Colorado 28-27, the Huskers were at midfield and driving toward the end zone when freshman quarterback Adrian Martinez took the ball and sprinted on a designed run to the right. Martinez hadn’t been perfect in his first-ever start, but w...
Jon Gruden Says He'll "Look At The Reasons Why" The Raiders Had No Pass Rush
The Raiders actually looked feisty in the first half of their season-opener against the Rams last night. There were sparks of creativity on offense, a vintage Beast Mode touchdown, and a 13-10 halftime lead to mark head coach Jon Gruden’s return to the NFL. Everything fell apart in the second half, ...
I Dressed Like Bill Belichick For A Day In Hopes Of Learning What It Feels Like to Win
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
The Jets Say They Knew Everything The Lions Were Going To Run
After a true and prodigious walloping of the Lions, the Jets defense said they knew exactly what was coming. And while that’s the sort of thing defenses like to say, there were plays in Monday night’s 48-17 chucklefest that didn’t look like they could’ve happened any other way....
Maybe Change Is A Bad Thing?
It was a bad week to be an NFL coach making his debut on their new team. After Jon Gruden’s Raiders decided to allow the Rams to score 23 straight points on their way to a 33-13 loss, new coaches ended the first week of the regular season a combined 0-7, breaking a 17-year NFL record....
Marshawn Lynch Puts Both Teams On His Back For The First Touchdown Of The Gruden Era
The soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders are getting it done early in Oakland thanks to one of the strongest feats of human strength ever seen on a football field. Marshawn Lynch showed he still had some “Beast Mode” left in the tank when he dragged almost the entirety of the Rams’ defense, and a couple of ...
The Lions Should Probably Never Play Like That Ever Again
It was a terrible, awful, no good and very bad day for Detroit’s two Matts—Stafford and Patricia—in the Lions’ Monday night season opener against the Jets. Stafford threw four terrible interceptions and finished with a quarterback rating of 47.9, and his shit sandwich of an evening was topped by a p...
Kenny Golladay Might Not Be Playing In His Best Position
The powerful, yet errant, arm of Matthew Stafford certainly must make life as a Lions receiver a bit more difficult than it has to be. You’ll either get a well-placed ball on a deep route, or see the ball sail over your head when your route is anything under 15 yards. To deal with his quarterback’s ...
Darn Old Jets Start New Era In Familiar Bad Way<em></em>
The Jets’ recent history of self-sabotage is already rubbing off on No. 3 overall pick Sam Darnold. Less than 15 seconds into his regular-season debut, he threw the mother of awful passes and gave Detroit, along with Matt Patricia’s beard, an early touchdown lead....