k Page 2664 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maurice Jones-Drew Is Retiring
Running back Maurice Jones-Drew just announced his retirement from the NFL, which is oddly affecting, because he was tiny and strong and great and so much fun to watch....

Fake Larry Donnell Gets On MSNBC, Says "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy"
Giants tight end Larry Donnell was on the plane that crashed into a fence in New York today. The guy who called into Andrea Mitchell's MSNBC show was not. Guess how the interview ended....

Brian Cashman Says The Yankees Should Retire The Very Idea Of Captaincy
On the radio today, Yankees GM Brian Cashman declared that if it were up to him, the Yankees would never name another captain after Derek Jeter, who was "so perfect" in the role but retired or died or something....

MLS Players And Owners Agree To Keep League Mired In Mediocrity
We're still in the process of digesting last night's surprise CBA accord between MLS and its players. Until or unless we get to dig into the specifics, it'll be difficult to judge exactly how the new agreement will affect those involved. Of course, the specifics will mainly be of interest for those ...

The Best Beer Is From Oklahoma (Naturally)
On Friday night, I had the distinctly fat and drunk pleasure of attending Drink Craft Beer's Boston Cheese and Beer Fest. The pleasure was provided by the obvious means—one of the cheeses had cumin seeds right inside it! the beers were mostly good and occasionally excellent!—and also via some less...

Hassan Whiteside Just Won't Quit
There has been no stranger story in the NBA this year than the rise of Hassan Whiteside, the 25-year-old center who spent the last two seasons playing for the Sichuan Blue Whales, Al Mouttahed Tripoli, and Jiangsu Tongxi—making the trip back to China after being released by Tripoli—and now won't s...

A Tinier Espresso Machine, Discounted Blenders, and More Deals
Great espresso requires significant investments of time, money, and effort, as well as the willingness to buy fresh beans and the scheduling to use them quickly. We'll have a guide on that soon, but if you know it's not gonna happen for you, keep reading....

Olympian On The IOC's Rules Against Sponsors: "It's Very Un-American"
We all know—or should know—that Olympic athletes don't make a penny from that 17-day extravaganza of running, jumping, throwing, swimming, flipping, etc. That pisses two-time Olympian Nick Symmonds off. It should, especially when you consider that even though about $6 billion went through the Inte...

Giants TE Larry Donnell Was On Plane That Skidded Off Runway
A Delta flight from Atlanta to New York skidded off the end of the runway at snowy LaGuardia airport this morning, coming to rest on a berm specifically put there to keep planes from splashing into Flushing Bay. A reported 130 people were board the MD-80, including Giants tight end Larry Donnell, ...

Screencap Classix: This Actually Happened In The Middle Of A Game
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Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...

Turner Can Probably Stop Running This March Madness Promo
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Patriots Move On From Vince Wilfork
Vince Wilfork's 11-year career with New England appears to have come to an end. As expected, the Patriots have declined to pick up Wilfork's option—saving them $8 million against the cap—and the longtime anchor of the Pats' D is going to have to move on....

Russell Westbrook Owns The NBA
There was a full slate of NBA games on last night, featuring enough close games and superstar performances to keep anyone with a League Pass subscription fumbling with the remote. But the best game of the evening featured a 13-48 squad in the middle of an unprecedented tanking campaign and a Western...

MLS And Players Union Reach Agreement. What Does It Mean, And Who Won?
Twenty-four hours after it looked like a work stoppage was inevitable—and 48 hours before the beginning of the season—Major League Soccer and the Major League Soccer Players Union announced that they had reached a tentative deal on a new collective bargaining agreement. Here are the highlights o...

Russell Westbrook Is Back To Soaring Past Hapless Defenders To Dunk
After missing Sunday's game against the Lakers because of surgery to repair a fractured zygomatic arch bone, Russell Westbrook has returned with a vengeance, and a mask! Both were on display as he split two Philadelphia defenders to throw down a monster two-handed jam. It is only 18 minutes into the...


Little Russian Hockey Kids Brawl During Team Handshake
Some tykes over in Russia played a friendly game of hockey that turned extremely unfriendly after the match was over. As the teams got ready to shake hands, a fight broke out, and the scene on the ice turned into a huge brawl full of tiny punches and checks....

These Gruesome Hockey Injuries Are Very Bad; Hockey Is Bad
Hockey: don't play it. Unless of course you want to risk getting various parts of your face and body made to look like you just came limping off a medieval battlefield. If you're reading this right now like, "Nah, man, hockey is fine," I think you should scroll down and look at the two disgusting pi...

Whatever Happened To That Dez Bryant Video?
It's impossible to prove a negative, but with each passing day, it seems more and more likely that the Dez Bryant video—the subject, over the last two weeks, of rumors so intense that they were, in themselves, semi-legitimate news—simply doesn't exist. ...