ks Page 987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bears Exist Despite The Wretched, Incompetent, Vapid Mess That Is Rex Grossman
Now listen: We know and understand how inconsistent Bears quarterback Rex Grossman has been there year. Anyone who had him in fantasy football understand that. But the guy is not Kyle Orton (mostly); you could even have made an argument for him (and Brett Favre) as the third Pro Bowl quarterback aft...

Seahawks vs. Bears, 4th Quarter/Overtime
- Chicago looks to take the lead here, with their golden gift from the Seattle field goal block unit. 3rd and goal from the 10. Grossman throws, it's of Muhammad's hands... and it's intercepted by a guy who denied my loan application two weeks ago. Big turn of events there....

Seahawks vs. Bears, 3rd Quarter
- Seattle comes out and gets a field goal to start the second half... credit Chicago's defense there for coming up with a stop when they had to. I like the way this game's shaping up....

Seahawks vs. Bears, 2nd Quarter
- And Nate Burleson's going to stretch the ball into the endzone on the first play on the second quarter, evening things up for the Seahawks. A couple of near-interceptions aside, these two offenses have both looked fairly competent. Hasselbeck looked like the Hasselbeck of last year on that drive. ...

Seahawks vs. Bears, 1st Quarter
- Joe Buck and Troy Aikman will be holding your hand and walking you through this one on FOX... I actually haven't heard a lot of Joe Buck this year, so this is a special treat for me....

Playoff Pants Party: Bears Vs. Seahawks
No matter what happens in these here NFC playoffs, we're gonna have a pretty good idea whether or not Rex Grossman is a legitimate NFL quarterback, or just a frizzy-haired drunkard. Thank heavens this game isn't on the eve of a major holiday....

Matt Hasselbeck Is Sexy, You See (YEAH!)
Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama." (You know, because of the loggers.)...

NBA Roundup: Acht Du Lieber! Mavs On A Tear
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Wooo!!!!!!! Roll Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!
You might have noticed, when Nick Saban, officially the new Guy Who Is Everything Wrong With Sports (at least until next week, when we've forgotten about all this business), arrived in Alabama, an enthusiastic fan fought through the crowd and planted one right on the guy. (Saban, ever cool, took the...

NBA Roundup: Say It With Us ... Sasha Vujacic
Notes on Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Ah, To Be Young And Tony Romo
Another reason YouTube is changing our lives in new and exciting ways: The already infamous Tony Romo fumble moment from Saturday night is being reenacted by spasming lonely fools in their bedrooms. You're totally wrong, Cuban: YouTube is Allah's gift to us all!...

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 4th Quarter
- The Cowboys are opening the quarter with a punt here. They're up by four with 15:00 to play. I would really love to see an exciting finish here. After that early game, frankly, I think we all deserve it....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 3rd Quarter
- The halftime show is over, mercifully bringing Jim Mora Jr.'s career as an analyst to an end. Cena was surprisingly gentle, by the way....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 2nd Quarter
- There are the Hasselbeck ladies. Obviously, they're pretty bundled up and it's hard to tell, but... I think Hasselbeck's mom might have a slight edge in that matchup. I can't make the call from here....

Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 1st Quarter
- The biggest reason I'm excited about this game is that it's the last I'll have to see this year of Jerome Bettis....

We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....

Playoff Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Cowboys
We didn't talk much about this, but the reason for our trip to Argentina? An attempt to further check out the genealogy of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. (Turns out he is not, in fact, Argentinian.) It's still pretty amazing that Romo is in the Pro Bowl; if the Cowboys lose this game, he's gonna l...

NBA Roundup: We Welcome Our Dallas Mavericks Overlords
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Tubby Smith's Ineptitude Captured Through Majesty of Song
The delirious, one-track mind of University of Kentucky basketball fan "Katman", author of Tubby Smith bashing blog Dynasty Defenders, has reached a new level of absurdity thanks to this recently released "music" video which aims to spread the word of his deranged gospel via this YouTube masterpiec...

Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama
Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers":...