league Page 273 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh Hell Yeah Baby, The American Premier League Takeover Is Well Underway
“My seeds, run with his seeds, marry his seeds,” Ghostface once remarked, explaining the strategy by which an influx of money amongst a tight-knit group of individuals can be kept, collected, and grown into a sum that benefits the group for generations. He continued, “That’s how you keep Wu-Tang mon...
New Orleans Baby Cakes Mascot Fulfills Commitment To The Minor-League Snarl<em></em>
The AAA baseball team formerly known as the New Orleans Zephyrs will henceforth be known as the New Orleans Baby Cakes. This is undoubtedly a unique mascot, one that will surely draw internet ire the same way that fellow New Orleanian King Cake Baby (deservedly) did, but Baby Cakes is a good mascot....
Here Are The Racist, Sexist Text Messages That Put Columbia's Wrestling Team Under Investigation
The young scions of the Harvard soccer team got their season canceled last week after the university wrapped up an investigation of the team’s codified practice of sexually rating the women’s soccer team’s recruits. As it turns out, Harvard is not the only team from an Ivy League enclave with a cult...
Greek Soccer League Suspended After Referee's House Gets Set On Fire
Greek soccer’s governing body (the EPO) announced today that the Superleague and all domestic cup competitions would be suspended after someone tried to set the home of Giorgos Bikos on fire. Bikos is the head of the EPO’s refereeing committee and his house in northern Greece was attacked early this...
Premier League TV Ratings Are Falling Off A Cliff, Too
You’ve no doubt heard that TV ratings for NFL broadcasts are down double digits. So are English Premier League ratings, on both sides of the pond....
Tebow's Latest Miracle: Hitting A Walk-Off Single<em></em>
Jesus walked on water; Tim Tebow walked off against the Mesa Solar Sox. Tebow’s minor league career has thus far been marked by miracles, a marked inability to hit the baseball, and a minor injury, but tonight, he slapped a walk-off single for the Scottsdale Scorpions. ...
Paul Pogba Finally Played Like Paul Pogba
Most every great player has a signature move, a thing they do to or with or around the ball that immediately clarifies for you that that one of 10 uniformly colored little blurs out there running with the ball is in fact, say, Arjen Robben and not Philipp Lahm. (In that instance, it’s Robben’s dangl...
Liverpool Are Running Riot
On current form, Liverpool are nigh unstoppable. Against Watford today they started their customary six midfielders up front—and two more in defense—and thrashed their opponent 6-1. Liverpool had 17 shots on target, the most in the Premier League in seven seasons, which doesn’t count the three that ...
Moussa Sow Scores Outrageous Bicycle Kick Goal
Just two minutes into a Europa League group stage clash with Manchester United, Fenerbahçe forward Moussa Sow scored this improbable and beautiful goal. All David de Gea could do was give a rueful little head shake. ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday
The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia Warsaw. How could a team of Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema, and—above all—Cristiano Ronaldo fail to beat...
Minor League Baseball Team's New Logo Is A Musclebound, Horny Shrimp
If you woke up one day to discover that you were suddenly a millionaire named Ken Babby, what’s one of the first things you’d do? Would you use your wealth to humiliate a group of grown men by forcing them to wear uniforms featuring a cartoon shrimp humping the state of Florida? Why, yes—yes you wou...
The Champions League Was Lousy With Great Goals Today
The Champions League is the best collection of great teams and players that there is in the sport. Sometimes, all those great teams and players conspire to do a bunch of great things all on the same day. Today was one of those glorious days....
Thou Shalt Not Steal: Tim Tebow Injured Trying To Take Second
Tim Tebow performed a great feat today, reaching base twice against the Peoria Javelinas. He hit a single in his first at-bat, and he now somehow has a three-game hitting streak. Tebow reached on a fielder’s choice in the fourth, then tried to steal second. ...
David Moyes Remains The Saddest Man In Sports
Poor David Moyes. A few short years after leaving his post as longtime Everton manager, Moyes has since flailed in his lone year as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor at Manchester United, stuck for an even shorter duration at Real Sociedad, and has finally washed ashore at Sunderland. His squad currentl...
West Brom Fans Celebrate Their Team's Demolishment With Brilliant Chant
Poor-and-not-very-good West Brom hosted rich-and-extremely-talented Manchester City this weekend, and the game played out just as the two clubs’ payrolls might’ve indicated. But rather than stew in anger during the 4-0 beatdown, West Brom’s fans had a grand old time, as this great chant commemoratin...
Manchester United Avoid Humiliation By Winning A Worthless Manchester Derby
The most interesting part of yesterday’s match between Manchesters United and City—it’s an insult to the proud tradition of the Manchester Derby to use that hallowed moniker when describing an early round match in the most garbage cup competition in Europe, the League Cup—came an hour before the mat...
A Horse Walks Into A Bar
Oh, you put a jersey on your dog to celebrate your sports team winning a game? Real cute. This Burnley fan and his cool horse are very impressed....
Xherdan Shaqiri's Left Foot Had A Hell Of A Game
It seems almost quaint now to remember that last summer, the fallen wonderkid Xherdan Shaqiri at first rejected, before accepting, the bejeweled life raft Stoke City tossed him in order to rescue him from Inter’s bench and the career obsolescence that loomed dangerously close. Stoke are a mainstay i...
Idiots Who Run Harvard Are Flubbing This Strike Like We All Knew They Would
Almost three weeks ago, Harvard, the schmanciest and richest college in America, let its low-wage dining hall workers go on strike. This move, we boldly said at the time, was very stupid. So how’s it going? ...
The Premier League Has Never Been Better
Coming into this rich and talented and historically well-coached Premier League season, no one had any real idea about who was good and who was bad and who would win (probably Manchester City). Then the season started and everyone kind of sucked but in a fun way. Two months in, the teams have starte...