lists Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eras To Live In, Ranked
The past was awful. It was a time of choleric ignoramuses flopping around in their own shit and killing each other for entertainment. I feel bad for everyone who lived before today....
These Are Our All-Time Favorite Sports Tweets
Inspired by our friends at Vice Sports, we wanted to write paeans to our favorite sports-adjacent tweets. These are not necessarily the best tweets, but they are the tweets that, for one reason or another, have always stuck with us....
Here Are 14 Things You Will Say To Your Kids A Million Goddamn Times
I have three kids. They don’t fucking listen. One day, God as my witness, they will listen. They will stop, turn around, not talk for five seconds, and say to me, “Wow, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks, Dad!” I swear it will happen. I will destroy entire countries if I have to make it s...
Father's Day Gifts, Ranked
Hey, Father’s Day is on Sunday! Wait, you are saying, suddenly even more sweaty, confused, and anachronistic than usual—aren’t we in April? Aren’t we in April of 2013? No, we are not in April of 2013. We are in June of ... [fumbles with phone for five embarrassing minutes] oh, wow, 2015! that’s bana...
Suburban Northern Virginians' 46 Worst Fears
Yesterday, a New York City man accidentally dropped his keys through a sidewalk subway grate, then fell to the bottom of the shaft when he tried to retrieve them, thus experiencing in short order at least two common fears of city life. In response, The Awl and Gothamist compiled lists of every New Y...
Some <i>Simpsons</i> Characters Voiced By Harry Shearer, Ranked
The Simpsons has been a lousy, vaguely depressing hood ornament for FOX for far longer, by now, than it ever was a good TV show, but when it was a good TV show, it was among the greatest television comedies ever made. Harry Shearer, the brilliant comedic and voice actor who announced his departure f...
Kitten Bowl Player Names, Ranked
Cat puns are the highest form of humor. Now that Hallmark Channel has unveiled the roster for this year's Kitten Bowl, it's time to subjectively and correctly rank the competitors' names....
Christmas Songs, Ranked
Hark! The herald bloggers rank the Christmas jams. O come, let us rejoice them....
Times Of Day To Have Some Damn Peace And Quiet Around Here, Ranked
When you are a Sad Dad, one of the things you spend the most time pining for—after, like, an actual grown-up date with your spouse, a window of more than five minutes in which to take a shower, and relief from the constant background awareness of your own bottomless inadequacy—is some damn peace and...
Slang Terms For Breasts, Categorized
Animal Life Bee stings Mosquito bites Hooters Milkshakes ...
Things I Consumed At The Minnesota State Fair, Ranked
Since I married a Minnesotan, I married into Midwestern food traditions like hot dish and pannekoeken. An annual part of that tradition includes The Great Minnesota Get-Together, the second-largest state fair in the country, and its bounty of culinary delights....
Neapolitan Ice Cream Flavors, Ranked
1. Strawberry...
Actually, Here Is A Good Ranking Of The Fruits
Many internet web sites like to rank the fruits. You can see right away that these rankings are wrong and bad, both because their results are stupid, and for the reason those results are stupid, which is that they were assembled using a lousy-ass amateurish methodology. Amateur bush-league-ass...
Who Really Runs New York Sports? These Terrible Lists Won't Tell You.
According to the readers of the New York Daily News, these are the 15 (actually 17) most powerful people in New York sports:...