mad Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Zinedine Zidane's Kid Gave Up A Dumb Own Goal
This here’s Luca Zidane. He’s the teenage son of Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane and he plays keeper for Real Madrid’s youth team. They played Legia Warsaw today, just like their senior side, and Zidane gave up a dumbass own goal in stoppage time....
Honestly, Joe Maddon's Idea For Twitter Sounds Boring
Joe Maddon did his best to explain his questionable bullpen usage, but this is way more important than the effectiveness of baseball’s best reliever in Game 7 of the World Series: Maddon wants to fix Twitter....
Joe Maddon, What Were You Thinking?
Fuck it, I’ll second-guess....
The Champions League Was Lousy With Great Goals Today
The Champions League is the best collection of great teams and players that there is in the sport. Sometimes, all those great teams and players conspire to do a bunch of great things all on the same day. Today was one of those glorious days....
Joe Maddon Gets It Right Again
Aroldis Chapman, like some closers, is very particular. He hates being asked to warm up more than once before entering a game. He likes to know exactly when he’s going to come in. Joe Maddon knows his players. So, before Game 5, the first elimination game the Cubs have faced all year, Maddon knew he...
Kyle Schwarber Paid Off Joe Maddon's Faith
Anything better than a four-strikeout night for Kyle Schwarber would have been a pleasant surprise for the big beefy boy whose first at-bats against major-league pitching since April 7 came against Corey Kluber and Andrew Miller in Game 1 of the World Series. ...
Salty-Ass Cristiano Ronaldo Flips Out After Teammate Laughs At Him
Regular human beings Danilo and Marcelo shared a laugh during Real Madrid training yesterday after the former did that funny little thing that sometimes happens during piggy-in-the-middle games and passed the ball between Cristiano Ronaldo’s legs. The cyborg Ronaldo must not have had his emotional c...
Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji
If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...
Pinch-Hitter Madison Bumgarner Ends Up On Second In The Weirdest Way
With the Giants already down 1-0 in the NLDS, Jeff Samardzija was rightly yanked after just two innings tonight, having given up four runs on six hits....
I Still Can't Believe Madison Bumgarner Is Real
I’m largely fine with MLB’s play-in game, but there remains something almost cosmically unfair about having to win a one-game series when the opposing team can start Madison Bumgarner. ...
Madison Bumgarner Remains A Postseason Demigod
The San Francisco Giants are headed to the NLDS once again, after Madison Bumgarner shut down the Mets and the offense managed a lone moment of competence tonight to get the team a 3-0 win. The Even Year Gods have smiled down on the Giants once again, and they’re headed to Chicago just a few short w...
Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:...
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...
Michael Essien's 30th Birthday Party Was Just The Saddest<em></em>
Remember those early 2010s Jose Mourinho-led Real Madrid squads, who seemed to fight with everybody—opponents, Barcelona, referees, Barcelona, La Liga, Barcelona, teammates, and Barcelona? ...
Dodgers Roast Madison Bumgarner En Masse After Shoving Match
Yasiel Puig and Madison Bumgarner got into it last night, prompting a team-wide scuffle and the eventual, inevitable Giants collapse after Bumgarner left the game with one hit through seven innings. Thankfully this happened on the first night of a three-game series, so tonight and tomorrow should be...
Madison Bumgarner And Yasiel Puig Yelled At Each Other And Started A Bench-Clearing Shoving Match
Madison Bumgarner got Yasiel Puig to ground out to end the seventh inning tonight in a close one between the Giants and Dodgers. As Bumgarner walked back to the dugout, he and Puig exchanged pleasantries, which prompted Bumgarner to reverse course, and take it to Puig’s chest (these two have an adve...
Lindsey Graham Wants To Destroy America
Nary a single flag-humping horse’s ass, badge-licking fraud, or smarmy nostalgic thinkfluencer in the Western Hemisphere passed up the chance to display performative patriotism in the wake of Colin Kaepernick’s ongoing national anthem protest. Here in 2016, national fabrics both figurative and liter...
Just Make <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i> Again
I just finished watching this dope-as-hell reel of raw footage from Mad Max: Fury Road, and goddammit, I’m all jazzed up for car crashes and explosions again. So here is my plea to George Miller: please just make Mad Max: Fury Road again....