mb Page 334 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Am Fascinated By This Soccer Fan Who May Or May Not Be A Zombie
The photo above—first flagged by Cork Gaines on Twitter—was taken on May 21, 2003, before Celtic took on FC Porto in a UEFA Cup match in Seville, Spain. My first reaction to this photo went like this: "Wait, I think that purple-faced guy might be dead." Then I went looking for more photos of this du...
Romell Quioto Golazo Puts Olimpia Up On Timbers Two Minutes Into Match
CONCACAF Champions League action resumed tonight, and MLS's Portland Timbers traveled to Honduras to take on Olimpia—where they were greeted just moments into the match by this over-the-head flip goal by Romell Quioto....
"The Buttfumble Song," Starring ESPN's Mike Tirico
During last night's Monday Night Football clash in Pittsburgh, ESPN announcer Mike Tirico referred to the Buttfumble by its proper title. While analysts and and anchors have previously mentioned that great event, we can't recall ever hearing "buttfumble" spoken during a game (and a search of closed ...
José Mourinho Doesn't Intend To Stop Being An Asshole Any Time Soon
José Mourinho is feeling himself right now. He has the best team in England, maybe the best in the world, and they're firing on all cylinders. So his typically dismissive response to a recent controversy involving other coaches' not taking too well to his celebratory handshake routine isn't surpri...
They'll Love Tom Brady In La Liga
You are now imagining Tom Brady holding his face and rolling around on the ground....
Report: Tom Brady Coulda Been A Jet
From the Daily News' Gary Myers comes an alternate history worthy of Harry Turtledove: A source who was in New York's draft room in 2000 claims one scout aggressively urged Bill Parcells to select Tom Brady with the Jets' sixth-round draft pick....
What It's Like To Be In The Doghouse
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Ballin'-Ass Steve Ballmer And His Dead Eyes Are Here To Frighten You
New Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is the subject of Bloomberg Businessweek's latest cover story, and oh my God, what in the hell is going on with this cover?...
Large Blue Jackets Fan Dancing In Extreme Slow Motion Is Heavenly
Meet "Dancing Kevin." He's a Columbus Blue Jackets staple, and it seems he pulled out all the stops for Saturday's home opener against the Rangers, enlisting the help of a nearby bear to guzzle multiple cans of Labatt Blue and dance with everything God gave him. And God blessed Kevin with a bountifu...
Tom Brady Rolled His Ankle But He's Good To Go
When Tom Brady was added to the Patriots' injury report on Friday, it seemed like another serious factor to consider in this whole What's wrong with Tom Brady?/Oh nothing actually debate of the last few weeks. Or at least some patented Bill Belichick tomfoolery:...
Burger King Sued Over Fed-Up Stabbin'-Ass Manager
Cold onion rings. A peeved customer. A murderous knife-wielding manager. I swear, if you've been to one Burger King, you've been to 'em all. Except you probably haven't been to any of them, since nobody goes to Burger King. Nobody, that is, but Robert Deyapp, who got beat up by a store empl...
Timbers Give Fans Permission To Support The Sounders, For One Night Only
Playoff races make strange bedfellows. The Portland Timbers are hanging on for dear life, two measly points up on the Vancouver Whitecaps for the fifth and final playoff spot in the West. The Whitecaps face Portland's hated rival Seattle tonight, and Timbers fans are naturally a little confused....
Pissed Off Oilers Fan Throws Hoodie, And Phone, Onto The Ice
The Edmonton Oilers have been pretty terrible since losing the Stanley Cup Finals in 2006, and they're probably going to be terrible again this year. But Oilers fans can take solace in the fact that bitter rivals Calgary are supposed to be even worse. Winning the Battle of Alberta isn't as nice as m...
The Worst Motivational Coaching Gimmicks In History
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Columbus Crew Get Rid Of The Worst Logo In Sports
American soccer culture is formed by the continual tension between copying the traditions and behaviors of soccer abroad, and creating something uniquely American. With the United States Men's National Team firmly established as good but not great and MLS coming into its own as neither a retiremen...
Who Gets To Spike The Football?
When the Patriots are doing well, Tom Brady doesn't get mad, and instead does fun stuff like play hot potato with Julian Edelman before spiking the ball....
The NFL Is Having Its Steroid Moment
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Top Female Soccer Players Sue FIFA Over Bullshit Artificial Turf
After weeks of pleading with FIFA to change its mind about playing the 2015 women’s World Cup on field turf instead of grass and being met with nothing but stubbornness, a handful of women’s soccer’s biggest stars have filed a lawsuit against FIFA to try and force the organization to put the upcomin...
A's-Royals Confused The Hell Out Of Gamblers
Last night's AL play-in game was the kind of protracted back-and-forth that makes a baseball game genuinely exciting. It also drives bettors nuts. Here are the implied winning percentages, which are modeled off of live betting on Betfair by Gambletron 2000. ...