mlbcloser Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No Stunt Pitcher Needed
Apparently all the Dodgers' offense needed was a kick in the ass from a guy who things while Brett Ratner tells him to make goofy faces. LA's bats finally broke out, and at the expense of San Diego's Chris Young of all people. Andre Ethier went 3-5 including one of the team's three home runs (Furcal...
Dontrelle Is Injured, Fat
Dontrelle Willis lasted all of 14 pitches before leaving with a hyper-extended knee, but he was just as shitty before the injury. The high-kicking lefty couldn''t seem to get his kick all the way up, which the Baseball Tonight crew was quick to attribute to his physique, which can only be described...
Giants Win Three Straight? That's Unpossible!
What the fungus is going on here? About a month ago during spring training, The Dugout over at AOL asked Giants fans if they would rather have Rich Aurilia beat them senseless with construction site debris, or have Barry Bonds back for another season. I of course chose the former, and braced myself ...
It Is Not Wise To Anger Albert Pujols
Now this is what you like to see. Albert Pujols, immersed in controversy, steaming mad and clouting homers. The Cardinals ripping up the NL Central despite preseason predictions of Epic Fail. Tony La Russa, legally sober according to state law. On Wednesday, Pujols — perhaps angered by this post — e...
The Wheels Are Coming Off In Wayne County
Detroit Tigers: EPIC FAIL. The Tigers are 0-7 following another fine performance on Tuesday — a 5-0 win by the Red Sox in the opener at Fenway — and the natives are beginning to get restless. First let's go to the blogs....
Aubrey Huff Is Jackin' It
Which team has the best record in the American League? Say it with me: Boston Red S ... wait, what? Baltimore Orioles? I'll be damned. Things are so crazy at Camden Yards that they're actually cheering Aubrey "Jackin' It" Huff, whose solo homer in the eighth stood for the Orioles in a 5-4 comeback w...
Jake Peavy Doesn't Have Hand
Before we get to Sunday's action, here's what they're saying about the Jake Peavy spitball controversy from over the weekend ......
Shades Of A Very Expensive 2003
And there it is. The dreaded comparison: "Detroit is 0-5 for the first time since the Tigers dropped their first nine games in 2003 en route to an AL-record 119 losses." For the record, the 2008 Tigers are in no way similar to the 2003 variety, with the exception of players named Brandon Inge, Jerem...
Blue Jays Fan Bares ... Nothing
What is it about that vast field of indoor turf that compels individuals to sashay onto it? Was it the powder blue throwbacks? That's the only excuse I'm taking on an otherwise standard Blue Jays opening night. Toronto beat the visiting Red Sox 6-3, thanks to Frank Thomas's go-ahead double. Roberto ...
Take A Peek At Baseball's Next Big Thing
According to my calculations, the last pitcher to strike out 10 in his Major League debut was Daisuke Matsuzaka, last season. The last one to throw five perfect innings in his debut was the immortal Ken Cloude, in 1997 (do you know the team?). And the last Cincinnati Red to do either was ... well, n...
Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...
Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacr...