No Stunt Pitcher Needed

Apparently all the Dodgers' offense needed was a kick in the ass from a guy who things while Brett Ratner tells him to make goofy faces. LA's bats finally broke out, and at the expense of San Diego's Chris Young of all people. Andre Ethier went 3-5 including one of the team's three home runs (Furcal and Kemp hit the others). Derek Lowe got the win, and even he went 2-4 with 3 RBI. Of course the only guy who couldn't hit was Andruw Jones, who did nothing to improve his .105 batting average (he did walk twice). The Dodgers won with ease, 11-1.

• Arizona, still amazing. Another game, another win, and another breakout performance by Justin Upton. The Diamondbacks prized rookie pounded out another three hits, including his fifth home run of the season. The 20 year-old phenom drove in four runs while scoring two himself. Dan Haren came through with his second masterful performance of the season, striking out seven over six innings of five-hit ball. Franklin Morales took a battering for the Rockies, who lost 10-3

• Yankees/Sox blah blah. I understand that the Yankees and Red Sox have a tremendous rivalry, that is often quite compelling. But good god, I can't watch them play each other on television in April. Boston won the first of 19 when Papelbon came out of the bullpen following a lengthy rain delay to ring up A-Rod. So I guess it kind of felt like September in a way. Manny was the hero in Boston's 4-3 victory, with Josh Beckett picking up another win.