ness Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...

Layla Kiffin Shows Support
The vivacious Mrs. Kiffin was decked out in Circus Peanut orange for game day. And whore shoes.[3rd Saturday In Blogtober]...

Dude, You're Making Out With A Dude
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

One More Columnist Boldly Proclaims That Vince Young Is Not A Good NFL Player
Although Vince Young schizophrenically told Esquire he'd be enshrined in the Hall of Fame and the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, it appears only his mother and the voices inside his head believe him....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "On Rocky Top"
The mighty Clay Travis returns to the Muertospin to show off the Big Orange fruits of his labor. Read the excerpt, then buy "On Rocky Top", then chat with him down below....

Lane Kiffin's Wild Boyz Are So Hot Right Now
Yes, that photo is exactly what it looks like. The Tennessee Volunteers turning Deadspin into OutSports....

Why Your Team Sucks: Tennessee Titans
Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tennessee Titans. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....

LeBron Once Smoked The Reefer, Ever-Discerning ESPN Informs Us
ZOMG! LeBron James is one of 97 million Americans to have smoked marijuana! This is news! Hannah Storm just told the world! It's on the front page of ESPN.com! Right below that unfortunate business with Ben Roethlisberger!...

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]...

<em>Tennessean</em> Brings Out The Dead, Asks About Exciting New Line Of Restaurants
Here's the front page of the Tennessean's weekly Davidson A.M. edition, which is one of those zoned supplements that go yellow on your lawn and contain nothing but Zales ads and the occasional fluffy interview with a dead person....

Live-Streaming The Love Life And After-Life Of Steve McNair
McNair's best friend Robert Gaddy says, despite all glaring indications, Mechelle and Steve weren't getting for a divorce. Nope, the happy couple was buying a new home together. Now stop asking him about the 20-year-old girlfriend....

Michael Phelps Makes America Safe For Weed
Congratulations, dope heads! Your groovy hero has bonged his way into America's heart and now you're free to toke up wherever and whenever you see fit. Enjoy your reefer, hippies, and be sure to thank Michael Phelps when you do....

13-Year-Old Commits To Lane Kiffin, Kind Of
The 13-year-old boy has enough to worry about. Committing to a college is not usually one of those preoccupations, unless you're really, really good — or the brother of an All-American who plays for Lane Kiffin. Or both!...

The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....

Vince Young Didn't Want To Kill Himself, Vince Young Says
Michael Smith gets him to open up: "I was that hurt from the boos. All the different things that were going on, man, it was so much for me I didn't want to play no more." [E:60]...

ESPN Now Enabling Lane Kiffin's Recruiting Violations
Stop me if you heard this one before: Lane Kiffin may have committed yet another recruiting violation. I know the man can't roll out of bed without doing something wrong, but does ESPN really need to be his facilitator?...

Football, The Layla Kiffin Way
Tennessee is hosting a football clinic designed and held exclusively for women, starring special guest speaker....Layla Kiffin. Dudes already contemplating discrimination lawsuits, cross-dressing options. [Clay Travis]...

Tennessee's Ingenious Plan To End The Recession Hits A Snag
Tennessee plans a new tax on professional athletes—but not NFL players because "NFL rules would have penalized the state had it included their guys." Also, the Smokey Mountains to be renamed the Goodell Hills. [On The Forecheck]...

The Wintry Economic Climate Finally Catches Up To The WWL
"ESPN began making a round of previously announced job cuts Wednesday, informing about 100 Connecticut employees that they would be laid off this week.The Bristol-based sports news network said in February that it would eliminate 200 vacant and occupied positions worldwide following a 60- to 90-day ...