nf Page 1069 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

DONE FUCKING DEAL! LEBRON TO HEAT, SAYS...SOUTH BEACH PARTY PLANNERS
"LeBron James has rented six cabanas at the W Hotel South Beach this weekend to celebrate his team decision, two sources confirm." [US Magazine, image via Clevescene.com]...

LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....

KABOOM: LEBRON TO CHICAGO, SAYS...SOME GUY MONITORING SUMMIT COUNTY TAXATION OR SOMETHING
"FLASH: Summit Co. processed request TODAY to change address on tax bill for BJ'S home from an LLC in Cleveland to a new address in Chicago" [EricMansfield]...

TAKE IT TO THE BANK: LEBRON STILL GOING TO KNICKS AND STEPHEN A. IS MISINFORMED, SAYS...SAME GUY FROM BEFORE
"in 28 hours we will find out who's right Stephen or NYCRAY. Is the KNICKS and no other team. Hook, Line, Sinker....... DONE" [@nyc_ray, photo via DeviantART]...

БЛЯТЬ! LEBRON TO KNICKS, SAYS...CAPITALISM
"There's been twice as many contracts sold to people betting that MSG stock will rise to $22.50 by the end of the month as compared to people betting it will fall to $20 by July's end." [CNBC, painting by our own OchentaYcinco]...

HEAVENS TO BETSY: LEBRON TO MATTOON, SAYS...STONED LOCAL
"@DEADSPIN Librarian sez WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME MORE ROLLOUT BLEACHERS!" [@williamfleitch]...

CHERRY-TOP THAT BITCH: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK SAYS...YET ANOTHER GUY
"@Deadspin only NEW YORK that's it" [NYCRay, image via deviantART]...

HOLD THE MAYO: LEBRON TO BULLS SAYS...SOME OTHER GUY
"Sources: BREAKING NEWS!!! LeBron James told the Chicago Bulls that he is going to sign with them. Will break the news tomorrow night at 9pm!" [@DAYV0N, painting via Fine Art America]...

MARK IT DOWN: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY METROPOLITAN REGION SAYS...CHAD OCHOCINCO
"*Empire State of Mind* *wink* *wink*only the smart folk will put this together and figure out what i am talking about #6" [OchoCincoNewsNetwork, image via deviantART]...

ABSOLUTELY ROCK SOLID: LEBRON GOING TO KNICKS SAYS...JARED DUDLEY
"Breaking News!!! My sources tell me Lebron will announce that he will be goin to the NY KNICKS tomorrow on ESPN.. This is serious.. WOW!!!!" [JaredDudleyTwitter, photo via Esquire]...

IT'S A LOCK: LEBRON GOING TO MIAMI, SAYS...STEPHEN A. SMITH
"For the record: I haven't changed my position. Learn [sic] is going to MIAMI. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong damn it. Stop bugging me until he speaks." [@stephenasmith, image via deviantART]...

Fan Falls From Stands At Rangers Game
While reaching for a foul ball, a man fell from the 2nd deck of Rangers Ballpark to the seats below. The game was stopped for 16 minutes, but reports have the man in stable condition. Four fans sitting below suffered minor injuries....

Brandon Marshall Won't Take Your Guff, Small Child
This is how the Dolphins' WR reacted to a 5-year-old telling him to "get out of my face." Give it three months and that'll be Chad Henne dangling. [Orlando Sentinel, via Second-String Fullback]...

JaMarcus Russell Arrested For Purple Drank
Russell was nabbed at his Mobile, Ala. home this afternoon after an undercover operation. The controlled substance: cough syrup with codeine. Get Outside The Lines on the case! [Press-Register]...

Walter Payton Runs The Wildcat
Sweetness taking the snaps in 1984 is video proof that the "Wildcat" (under many names) has been around lot longer than Bill Snyder. Also, Payton was a beast. [via Smart Football]...

Al Davis's Love Of McDonald's Kept Sean Payton From Coaching The Raiders
"You like cheeseburgers?" Davis asked Payton, when courting him for the Raiders job. One Big Mac and some KFC coleslaw later, Payton turned the gig down, and coached the Saints to a title. Somewhere, Davis wonders where it all went wrong. [Via]...

Metaphor Becomes Reality At Titans' Stadium
LP Field just cannot catch a break. After workers finally cleared out all the troublesome floodwater, a 5- to 6-feet-deep sinkhole was found at the stadium. It has something to do with "substandard materials" that are not Vince Young....

Italian Soccer Fan Expresses Disappointment With Indecent Exposure (NSFW)
Following the Azzurri's early exit from the World Cup, an interview with an Italian fan and his son became an instance of public nudity when an unidentified woman stepped into the frame and flashed the camera. [Dailymotion]...

Craig Kilborn Is ... Back?
Fourteen years after leaving ESPN to launch The Daily Show, Craig Kilborn is now hosting a show that looks suspiciously like The Daily Show. Only, you know, before it was popular or had an attractive time slot....

Mike Vick Birthday Shooting Might Have Been Over Cake
Vick's 30th birthday went off with a bang, as his dogfighting co-defendent Quanis Phillips was shot early this morning. Rumors have it that a dispute between Phillips and Vick went down after someone shoved cake in someone's face. Seriously. [Daily Press]...