nf Page 1070 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bucs Coach On What Happens In Training Camp: "You Take Off Your Underwear"
Here's Tampa Bay coach Raheem Morris giving his thoughts on what happens at a NFL training camp: "You take off your underwear, you put on your big boy pads and you put your face on people." The Bucs were 3-13 last year....
Golden Tate's Donut Crimes Becomes Obvious Ad Opportunity
As (sorta) predicted, Top Pot Doughnuts has turned a NFL's player's sugar addiction—and a fortuitous breaking and entering—into marketing gold. [Photo submitted by Seattle reader Jon.]...
Oh, Did We Forget To Mention Lawrence Taylor Was Indicted For Rape Today?
Hey, it was crazy out there today. Sometimes the grand jury hearings of a Hall of Famer accused of raping an underage prostitute just slip through the cracks....
"BroncoGator" T-Shirt Proves Florida Fans Can't Quit Tim Tebow
A devout Tim Tebow fan manages to accurately illustrate his obsession while simultaneously violating not one, but two registered trademarks. Honestly didn't see that cease and desist coming? Did NFL Legal change its delivery? [BroncoGator/ESPN]...
Last Night's Winner: Susan Finkelstein's Erotic Phillies Fiction
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Susan Finkelstein, who offered sex for baseball tickets, and just went live with a new blog featuring her sexual fantasies of the 1980 Phillies. Especially Larry Christenson. Yuck....
Steve Smith Actually Broke His Arm Playing Flag Football. Against Adults.
Despite initially trying to blame his broken arm on roughhousing children—children!—it has become apparent that Carolina's All-Pro wideout actually injured himself trying to take over an adult rec league. That may be the saddest thing ever....
Doctor Who Treats Football Players Accused Of Knowing Football Players
Canadian officials confiscated something labeled "NFL file folder" from the office of Anthony "Dorian Gray" Galea. That's right....a doctor kept detailed records of his patients! Can't wait until they find the file labeled "Butts I Injected With HGH." [ESPN]...
Come To Steve Smith's Football Camp For Kids — Where You Can Learn To Injure A Star
The Panthers WR broke his arm while horsing around at his football camp. No, it wasn't on this high-five, but it was almost as embarrassing....
Last Night's Winner: The Phillies Fan Who Fell Down The Stairs
In sports everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the poor guy in the blue shirt who ungracefully bought it during the 5th-inning of yesterday's Phillies-Twins game. He gets four gold stars, a blue ribbon and a platinum trophy....
Steve McNair Not Allowed To Rest In Peace
One Nashville man is working tirelessly to reopen the investigation into Steve McNair's death. Or at least, to sell his own amateurish self-published conspiracy theory book....
Spurned Belichick Superfan Blows A Gasket
Laura London was a big Patriots fan. Specifically, a Bill Belichick fan. She started a website devoted to him, and ran it faithfully for years. Then she tried to sell it to the team for $1 million. That's when things got interesting....
Canceled Training Camps Are Early Warnings Of NFL Labor Strife
Jacksonville and Detroit became the third and fourth teams to cancel OTAs after players complained about the workouts. Have today's players turned into delicate little doilies, or is it the hand of the union at work in advance of contentious CBA negotiations?...
Philly Police Confiscate Gun From Marvin Harrison
Marvin Harrison is apparently still under the watchful eye of the Philadelphia PD as a traffic stop just three blocks from his garage turns up another 9-mm handgun that they will add to the investigation of the Dwight Dixon shooting....
Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....
Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...
Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....
Tonya Harding Sex Fantasy Page Still Surprisingly Active
Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities....
The Tao Of Road Beef: Anonymous NFLer Teaches Us The Lessons Of Keeping Side Tail Happy
"I'm not saying you take them to a steak dinner on a Saturday night, but little gifts here and there show appreciation. Think watches and dresses, maybe some cash." What, no Subway sandwich? [Daily News]...
Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....
Golden Tate Breaks Into Donut Shop Due To Maple Bar Addiction
Police were called to Top Pot Doughnuts in Bellevue, Washington, at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday after two men were found entering the store after hours. Turns out new Seahawk Golden Tate just had a case of the munchies....