nf Page 594 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Packers running back Eddie Lacy had five attempts for four yards and one catch for a loss of three yards in last night’s game. His lack of touches was due to him missing curfew on Wednesday, according to ESPN’s Rob Demovsky. Running back Alonzo Harris also missed curfew; he was cut before the game. ...
Who Will Free The Cursed Soul Trapped Inside This Matt Stafford Statue?
This custom-made, 62-inch wooden statue of Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is currently on sale for $1,500. It is imperative that someone out there buy it and destroy it, so that the curse binding a tortured soul to it for all eternity can be broken....
Factory Of Sadness Gets A Sadness Upgrade With Browns Montage Set To Adele
Lions fans had their spirits crushed with the Packers’ game-winning hail mary Thursday night, but let’s not be so quick to forget fate beating down Browns fans on Monday night with a game-ending kick-six. Charles Wulf used the loss as a prompt for his compilation of Browns lowlights set to Adele....
The Facemask Penalty On The Lions Was The Right Call In The Moment
This will sound self-contradictory and bring consolation to absolutely no one, but the facemask call that extended the game and gave the Packers the chance to win on a hail mary was the wrong call—and one that no official should be blamed for making....
Mark Brunell Fondly Recalls The Time Brett Favre Tortured A Deer To Death
CBS Sports published a kind of oral history of Brett Favre, in which former teammates, coaches, and friends shared their fond memories of the ol’ gunslinger, and hooooooly shit get a load of this story from Mark Brunell:...
The 49ers' Front Office Is Still A Huge Mess
It’s hard to imagine a football team having a worse season, top-to-bottom, than the 2015 San Francisco 49ers. Things stayed messy last night, with various reports stating that team president Paraag Marathe is being shuffled off to a lesser role within the organization, a move that will apparently ta...
No One Has Ever Seen A Hail Mary Like Aaron Rodgers's
The thing that stands out, amid all the craziness in Green Bay’s miracle 27-23 win, is just how damn high that pass went. It flew about 70 yards in the air, from Aaron Rodgers to Richard Rodgers, a heave that not many quarterbacks are capable of, but it’s the height of the thing, more mortar than mi...
Aaron Rodgers Shocks Lions On Untimed Down With Hail Mary Winner
An untimed down due to a facemask penalty on what should have been the final play of the game allowed Aaron Rodgers to find Richard Rodgers in the end zone 61 yards away to give the Packers an incredible 27-23 victory. The Lions defense, which had made Aaron Rodgers look merely average on the evenin...
Cousin Of Giants Safety Killed In San Bernardino Shooting
New York Giants safety Nat Berhe is from San Bernardino, Calif., where yesterday’s mass shooting took place. Today, he announced that one of his cousins was killed in the shooting....
Chip Kelly’s Downfall Is The NFL’s Downfall
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Stan Kroenke Wants The Rams Out Of St. Louis So Damn Badly
We’re nearing the end of Escape To L.A. race that the St. Louis Rams, San Diego Chargers, and Oakland Raiders have been running for what seems like forever now. Given that neither team has gotten an attractive offer to stay in their current cities, the Chargers and Raiders appear to be most likely t...
Bill Belichick Is Extra Grumpy This Morning
The Patriots are notoriously cagey when it comes to talking publicly about player injuries, which is why it was kind of weird to see the team release an official statement about Rob Gronkowski’s knee injury. At this morning’s press conference, head coach Bill Belichick was asked why the team decided...
Security Guard Chokes Panthers Fan
The video above, taken at last week’s Panthers-Cowboys game, shows a Cowboys Stadium security staffer choking a Panthers fan....
Ben Roethlisberger's Trying Really Hard To Pretend He Doesn't Have A Concussion
Ben Roethlisberger is a resilient guy who will generally try to play through just about any injury, but his brain bouncing off the inside of his skull is a bridge too far. The Steelers quarterback took himself out of Sunday’s game against Seattle, and he’s still suffering the effects. The team’s ada...
The Browns Fan Videos Just Keep Getting Sadder
Browns fans are in that rare sweet spot on the venn diagram of sports-fan sadness, where we’re still able to laugh at their misery caused by last night’s kick-six loss to Baltimore, even as we feel really, genuinely sorry for them....
NFL Demotes Officiating Crew After Screwups In Cardinals-Niners Game
Sunday’s Cardinals-49ers game was a disaster for the officials, one that stood out even against the backdrop of an especially woeful season for the zebras. How bad was it? The crew responsible has been demoted from primetime....
Sad Browns Fans Continue To Be A Gift
Last night’s Browns lost, one of the Brownsiest we’ve ever seen, already gave us a few great videos of sad Browns fans reacting to the horror unfolding in front of them. The video below made its way into our inbox over night, and we felt compelled to share it....
The Browns Need To Choose A New QB Again
Give the Browns this: for a team mired in a perpetual quarterback controversy, they manage never to have the same one twice. With Josh McCown reportedly out for the year, the newest debate is between Austin Davis, who wasn’t even with the team in training camp, and (once again) Johnny Manziel, who M...
Browns Fans Shot The Saddest Goddamn Videos As Their Team Blew It Once Again
These Browns fans thought they were going to capture a triumphant victory over the hated Baltimore Ravens, with the worst case scenario being the game going into overtime. Instead they managed to document a beautiful mosaic of Browns fan sadness, resignation, anger, and fury. Poor Cleveland....