nf Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's One Really Sad Fact About The Jaguars
The Jacksonville Jaguars are bad. But just how bad are they? For more, we turn to a five-day-old story involving David Garrard....
Here's Jason Pierre-Paul's Hand, Sort Of
Giants DE Jason Pierre-Paul has, as of the latest report, maybe three-and-a-half fingers on his right hand. Yesterday he posted an Instagram video of him working out, and gave the briefest glimpse of what that hand looks like....
Peyton Manning Dropped Some Dad Burns On The Denver Media
Peyton Manning made a surprise appearance on the Denver Broncos’ injury report. The injury, apparently in his back, isn’t anything major, but it was still something Manning anticipated the media would want to question him about. He decided to head off these concerns with some jokes that your dad wil...
OK, Just How Many Damn Fingers Does JPP Have Left?
We knew, from curiously leaked hospital records, that Giants DE Jason Pierre-Paul lost his right index finger after a July 4 fireworks accident. Pierre-Paul maintained that, other than the whole missing finger, he was fine; the Giants disagreed once they finally got to see it. Now comes a report tha...
Nobody Hates The Skins More Than Skins Fans
If you are not already, get used to seeing this sort of thing:...
Byron Maxwell Had A Very Bad Night
The Eagles threw a decent amount of money at Byron Maxwell this offseason, signing the former Seahawks cornerback to a $63 million contract with $22 million guaranteed. The team was banking on the 6-foot-1 Maxwell to use his physical play in coverage and turn into Philadelphia’s top corner. He’d pro...
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
Video Shows 49ers Fans Beating Vikings Fan In Parking Lot
A video uploaded by Brandon Cosio after Monday night’s Vikings-49ers game appears to show a group of 49ers fans kicking and punching a Vikings fan in an Antoine Winfield jersey in a parking lot outside of Levi’s Stadium. As a warning, the video’s rough to watch....
Jim Tomsula Should Be Your Favorite Coach
We made a lot of jokes at Jim Tomsula’s expense after the 49ers tabbed him as their new head coach, because he exudes an appearance that screams “cautionary tale,” (or perhaps “hardware salesman”) but here’s the truth: the man’s undefeated. With his win as an interim coach in 2010, and last night’s ...
Australian Sportswriter Liveblogs 49ers Game, Discovers Just How Dumb Football Can Be
People in Australia are understandably excited about Jarryd Hayne, a former Australian rugby star who earned himself a roster spot on the San Francisco 49ers. Given that last night was his NFL debut, the Guardian had Australian sportswriter Matt Cleary liveblog the game for the folks in Hayne’s home...
Sick Of All Those Daily Fantasy Games Ads? This Is For You.
It’s no secret the ubiquitous TV ads for gambling, er, “daily fantasy” sites like DraftKings and FanDuel have taken over football’s bathroom breaks this season in ways boner pill manufacturers could only dream of. Everyone’s sick of hearing about this garbage, so we made something that, by compariso...
Adrian Peterson's Learning Curve Is Steep
One game isn’t nearly enough to judge how well Adrian Peterson can pick up where he left off after being out of football for a full calendar year. There were too many variables that went into his quiet night in Santa Clara to make any sweeping pronouncements on whether he’ll recapture his form. But ...
The Many Talents Of Jim Tomsula
Chris Berman: While he was a coaching intern, Tomsula earned money on the side as a battery separator....
How Would You Describe This Eagles Play Call?
But seriously. In our tips email I see “cocksucking monkey,” “designed handjob,” and “a monkey jerking a giraffe.” How would you describe it? ...
Gronk Goes Steady
Perpetual air-humping machine Rob Gronkowski busted out for three touchdowns in his first game of the season, but that’s old news. There’s a much more important development: The Patriots tight end is legitimately dating someone....
Marcus Mariota Looked Fantastic
The second-worst team in football last season was blessed to open their campaign against the worst team in football. Both of them had shiny new quarterbacks, and are a year removed from flimsy, bottom-three defenses. That’s where the similarities stopped. Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota stomped on...
The Giants' Collapse Was Even Dumber Than It Looked (And It Already Looked Pretty Dumb)
It was one thing when it appeared that the Giants’ merely brainfarted 40 extra seconds to the Cowboys for a game-winning drive that needed 33 of them. Now as players discuss the calls in the huddle and from the sideline, it’s so, so much worse: the Giants a) did not realize how many timeouts the Cow...
Kam Chancellor's Holdout Couldn't Be Going Any Better
Kam Chancellor is still negotiating with the Seahawks for a new contract, and as his holdout bled into Week 1 of the regular season, undrafted sophomore Dion Bailey took his place at strong safety Sunday against the Rams. It was clear that Chancellor’s starting job will be waiting for him when he co...
Pacman Jones Won't Be Suspended For Slamming Amari Cooper's Head Into His Own Helmet
Kind of surprisingly, multiple reports state that Bengals corner Adam “Pacman” Jones will be fined but not suspended for ripping off Raiders WR Amari Cooper’s helmet and bashing the back of his head against it....