nflupdate Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Should Let Joey Porter Pick Your Lottery Numbers
• Miami at New England: Last week, Joey Porter did Joey Porter things, as he completely emasculated Pats QB Matt Cassell in front of the media. Joey must have said his prayers, because God did not smite him by having Cassell put up a monster day. Quite the opposite, actually. Tom Brady's replacemen...

Chad Pennington Is Playing Well; Yes, You Read That Correctly
• Miami at New England: Prior to the game, Dolphins Tony Sparano coach hinted that his defenders would look to get physical with Randy Moss today, and judging from his play so far (3 catches for 18 yards in the first half), I'd say that plan is working to perfection. Miami led 21-6 at the half. (Oh...

The Ronnie Brown Show
• Panthers at Vikings: Despite having the services of one Adrian Peterson, the Vikes trail Carolina 10-0 thanks to a 43-yard boot from John Kasay plus a rushing TD from Jonathan Stewart. • Cardinals at Redskins: Clinton Portis has rushed for a touchdown, leading me to wonder how Brian Mitchell feel...

The Calm Before the Storm
Ah, sweet, glorious NFL Sunday is here at long last. And you can take a look at which men and women will bring you today's slate of 15 games. • Joey "piano man” Harrington is taking his musical talents to New Orleans, where he'll play backup to Drew Brees's backup. My, how the not-so-mighty have fa...

The Sun Sets on Another NFL Sunday
Bill Parcells must be wondering what kind of store you have to shop at to come home with groceries like Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. All he knows right now is that his roster of players from Publix just aren't going to get the job done. The Arizona pair racked up 293 receiving yards on 12 ca...

On to the Late Games
But first...how 'bout them Redskins! Getting back to business, we're blessed with five late games, and a couple of them don't even suck. Then there are the ones that feature the Dolphins, the Falcons, and the Niners. Regardless I'm giving them all the equal treatment (except for the Dolphins, becaus...

NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...

NFL Update: Week 2 Third Quarter
• Bears 17, Panthers 13- Carolina rudely won't give up to the Neckbeard's superiority (17-23, 140 yards). Also: holding, Chicago. • Bills 10, Jaguars 16 - Maurice Jones-Drew scores a TD on a 74-yard drive for the Jaguars. • Giants 20, Rams 6 - Eli Manning: 17-26, 202 yds, 2 TDs, 86 commercials. Welc...

NFL Update: Week 2 Halftime
• Bears 10, Panthers 3- Both teams traded field goals in the second quarter. Matt Forte has 15 carries for 43 yards. • Bills 10, Jaguars 3 - Fred Jackson has four catches for 50 yards. • Giants 13, Rams 6 - Both teams traded field goals and then traded field goals again, including one at the half. E...

That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...

Inaugural Game, T.O., and Fumbles
It was a glorious day of football and we still have one more game left. The Bears take on the Colts in the inaugural regular season game at the new Lucas Oil Stadium. Will Peyton Manning throw six touchdowns? Will his knee hold up? Will Kyle Orton be sober? Only time will tell. The afternoon games h...

NFL Update: Part 1
The golden boy goes down! Tom Brady is taken off the field early in the first quarter of the Kansas City/England game with a knee injury. Career backup QB Matt Cassel took over and after a rough start, looked really decent connecting with Randy Moss on a 10 yard touchdown pass . There's no word yet ...