no Page 4829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Sensible Man In Gainesville Wants Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, And Jesus
John D. Gilliand of Gainesville, Florida, filed three petitions for injunction for protection against repeat violence last week — against everyone’s favorite Messiah Tim Tebow, President Barack Obama, and, to complete this holy trinity, Jesus....

Duke Administration Cancels Tailgating After Minor Is Found Passed Out In Port-A-Potty
A visiting teenager was found unconscious in a portable toilet after tailgating celebrations for Duke's win over Virginia on Saturday. The university will now brainstorm different gatherings that reflect "the class and spirit for which Duke is known." Right....

Next Time Cowboys Fire A Coach Mid-Season, They Will Likely Check Domain Name
Because someone failed to re-register the domain name, the Dallas Cowboys website disappeared from the interwebs on a big day for Cowboys-related news, and site visitors instead saw a screen like this. The marketing office must be in between interns....

Finally, Deadspin The Subject Of A Master's Thesis
What we do here, it's many things. Intellectually rewarding? Not what usually springs to mind. But this humble website played a rather large part in the Master's Thesis of a recent LSU graduate. Let's explore the world of academia....

Nick Collins Is Sorry Your Sissy Receivers Keep Getting Concussions
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Nick Collins doesn't know how to stop leading with his head....

Miracle At The Meadowlands Redux, The High School Version
All this quarterback has to do is kneel down to send a tie game to overtime. Instead he scampers about the backfield and inexplicably stops, allowing the ball to be stripped and run back for the gamewinner....

Derek Jeter Is A Gold Glover, Somehow (UPDATE)
There are no words. It's as if Joe Morgan left a giant turd on the carpet on his way out the door. [HardballTalk]...

Basketball Foul Is Skull-Stompingly Flagrant
ASU product Mike Batiste is a superstar in Euroleague hoops, but he kind of lost his cool the other night. Worry not: his coach made him go apologize....

Set Your Sights High, Wizards Fans
Owner Ted Leonsis: "Had we won a close game at home on Saturday, we would be playing on Wednesday for a .500 record...A 2-3 record would qualify for the playoffs if they started today." Dream the impossible dream, Washington. [Ted's Take]...

Here's A Man Who Shat Himself At The Florida Ironman Last Weekend
After the jump, prepare to look at this physical specimen as he stands in awe of his accomplishment, even though he has a pound of shit splattered all over his leg. What's that pungent smell, you ask? Personal victory....

My Uncomfortable Encounter With An Angry Joe Morgan
In 2005, I wrote a story for SF Weekly about the now-unemployed Joe Morgan, who at the time was leading a proudly ignorant rearguard action against Michael Lewis's Moneyball. Joe and I met one Sunday before a Giants game and chatted for a while about the book (which he hadn't read). Joe got a little...

Introducing Your Fill-In Funbagger
Jezebel's Jessica Coen, who is herself something of a poop authority, is handling this week's Funbag. It'll run tomorrow. Unburden yourself to her at [email protected], subject "funbag."...

Young Philip Rivers Did Not Make Funny Faces, Apparently Wanted To Play For The Bears
"I discovered I went to elementary school with Phillip [sic] Rivers (he's 2 years older)," wrote commenter Gottliebs Cards. "If anyone is interested I'll scan some pics." Interested? You bet your ass we're mildly kind of halfway interested....

Because If You Send Us A Photo Of An Athlete With Martha Stewart, We're Gonna Post It
Curtis Granderson went on the Martha Stewart Show today. They discussed the finer points of keeping your OBP around 300 and your soufflés fluffy. [Twitter, h/t Jovan]...

Braylon Edwards Won't Be Punished This Year
Prosecutors say they're discussing a possible plea deal in Edwards's DWI case, but his next court appearance isn't until January after his lawyer requested more time to file motions. Maybe he'll be suspended for some two-a-days in August. [Star-Ledger]...

Backflipping Trick Play Goes Awry
Okay, America's high school coaches. Enough with the trick plays. It's fun to be a viral video for a couple of days, but this one's going too far. Thankfully the refs stopped it and ejected the coach before the trickery embarrassed everyone....

Theo Walcott Is A Published Author Of Children’s Literature
Inspired by the heroes in his favourite bedtime stories, Arsenal striker Theo Walcott, aged 9¾, has written a series of kids’ books whose lead character is loosely based on the forward himself....

Last Night's Winner: The University Of Florida's Academic Integrity
It's open season on Cam Newton. Since his selection of Auburn has already been indicted as everything wrong with amateur sports, is there anything from Florida we can drag up? As it turns out, yes! A big old term paper cheating scandal....

Conan Returns With 2010 Joke, Deadspin Punchline
On the premiere of Conan, Conan O'Brien decided to cram as much news into one of his monologue jokes as possible. He covered a lot of ground, summing up the year so far with a humorous, very succinct, "comma Brett Favre's penis."...

Jon Gruden Branches Out Into Telestrator Boob Art
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....