no Page 5163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....
Donald Sterling Continues To Get Away With Being The Most Evil Man In Sports
Racist greedhead Donald Sterling will pay $2.73 million to settle a federal housing bias lawsuit accusing him of all kinds of sleazy and thuggish behavior, none of which matters in David Stern's NBA if you're an owner....
Chris Dudley Will Rebuild Oregon Brick By Brick
The former NBA "big man" is running for governor of Oregon, as a Republican. "He's a solid guy, and Oregonians know that." If by "solid," you mean he played the post like he had lead feet, then yeah. [AP]...
And Now Some Updates On The Sean Salisbury Lawsuit
No comment, no comment. No comment no comment no comment, no comment. No comment no comment, no comment, no, comment, no comment. No comment. [Mckinney Courier-Gazette]...
The One Where The Spirited Phillies Fan Leaves Us A Phone Message
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another...
Fu*k Your Parade, Yankees
Oh hey! Loogit! Very rich people being cheered as they drive through the financial district most responsible for our economic downfall! WHAT A WONDERFUL SIGHT TO SEE!...
Elizabeth Lambert Is Now America's Greatest Villain
The internet is both titillated and enraged (pretty standard for the internet, actually) over the video of an angelic young soccer player nearly decapitating her opponent via ponytail yanking. But does she deserve your scorn or your pity?...
John. Cougar. Mormon Camp.
Via Spencer Hall and Shaggy Bevo comes this delightfully misplaced piece of Cougar Tail. I believe we call that positioning the Five O'Clock Cock....
Searching For..."I LIV 4 THIS" Woman
Really. Thanks to one reader's wife who became Facebook friends with this happy "e"-less female Yankee fan last night, she's actually been found and identified. America, meet Amy W. AKA "I LIV 4 THIS" woman....
Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....
What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami]...
You Really Don't Want To See This
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Whores Are Coming To Dallas
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Okay, I'll Be The One To Say It...This Is Hot
BYU and New Mexico had one of the only the chippiest women's soccer games you'll ever see....
Forget Strength Of Schedule; Look At This Snazzy Press Release!
The WAC hired a PR firm to convince voters than an undefeated Broncos team would be deserving of a BCS bowl. Okay, but I'm not going on a junket to Boise. [ESPN via Midwest Sports Fans]...
Hockey Team Dooms Children, Elderly
Because the prairie provinces are generally uncontroversial, and those few controversies are always hockey-related, the latest media storm in Calgary is due to the Flames jumping the line to receive the swine flu vaccine....
I Hope No One In Philadelphia Needed To Find Anything On The Internet Today
Bing is apparently giving up on that elusive non-New York market, transforming their front page into a tribute to the Yankees. Well, they do say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft. [Via The Sports Hernia]...
The Face That Launched A Thousand Indignant E-Mails (UPDATE)
We thought it was all fun and games when we posted this video of Manu Ginobili swatting down a rogue bat on Halloween. We neglected to take into account the rabid bat-lovers among our readership....