no Page 5179 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cris Collinsworth Is Sorry
Don't you hate it when someone digs up an embarrassing, decades-old video of you so the entire world can see what you were like when you were young and stupid? Cris Collinsworth sure does!...
Your NFL Open Thread
All your Brett Favre schadenfreude goes here. [NFL.com]...
Sachez Pumped Up By Acoustic Puff Music
The Jet's GQ rookie has stormed out of the gates like a man who's been possessed by the fury of bad-ass music flowing through his veins—probably something like Slayer or Pantera, right? Wrong......
UVA's Season Summed Up In Mascot Catastrophe
As if getting blown out at home by William & Mary wasn't a bad enough omen for UVA football, observe what happened before the Cavalier's second loss to TCU....
Men With Telestrators Can't Stop Drawing Dongs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Sports Fella, Now Sponsored By Crappy Beer
Simmons' NFL picks column now features "The Miller Lite Great Call of the Week." ESPN.com's editor explains the product placement thusly: "Bill Simmons is the shiniest object we can offer." Next up: TMQ's Mercedes-Benz Anti-Semitic Rant of the Week. [Slate]...
Serena Williams Goes All Crazy-Lady On Terrified Line Judge
Serena Williams lost to Kim Clijsters tonight in the U.S. Open semi-final but it was the not-so-graceful way she exited that everyone is yapping about. You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge......
Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...
Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....
The Big Ten: Still Sucking
After numerous Big Ten teams barely escaped being upset by non-conference underdogs last week, the ax dropped today with Michigan State falling to Central Michigan while Wisconsin and Northwestern barely got by Fresno State and Eastern Michigan at home....
Sean Salisbury Gets Fired Hard for the Money
Yesterday we learned that Sean Salisbury was fired from his gig at a Dallas radio stadium, allegedly for more cellphone/dong photo hijinks. The Dallas Morning News spoke to Salisbury about his departure, and he tells a different story, naturally....
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....
Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human
I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself....
A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....
Cris Collinsworth Likes His Ladies Very Young and Extremely Stupid
Every now and then someone will dig up a long lost video clip from the past that's so amazing in every way that you have to watch it multiple times to confirm it's real. This is one of those videos....
What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....
Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila....
Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...
Well Hello There Stinky Britches!
Okay, so I'm this internet creature known as Cajun Boy and I'm guest-editing this here site today. Perhaps you've seen me around on Gawker, Animal, my dumb blog, my dumb Twitter, etc. Also, I got my first tattoo last night!...
This Pig AIDS Aggression Will Not Stand, Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....