no Page 5178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....

The Eagles Will Probably Sign Jeff George By Week 4
Why not? It makes about as much sense as signing Jeff Garcia at this point. But, yes, the man who once lead the team to a false start away from the NFC Championship game back in 2006 has returned. [The700Level.com]...

The Learning Curve: Quarterrack
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Charles Barkley Actually Makes Pretty Good Point About Shawne Merriman
If there's one thing Sir Charles knows, its where to pick up classy women. His advice to Merriman: "Dude, you're one of the best football players in the world; don't get your women off of reality TV" [Sports By Brooks]...

Sports Doctors Demand More BRAINS!!!
Three active NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to science. What?! That's just nuts! What kind of crazy doct ... oh ... after they die. Yeah, that makes more sense. [AP]...

Jim Carroll: The Bard Of The Hardwood
Carroll — junkie, author, schoolboy basketball star — died Friday of a heart attack while working at his desk. He was a hopped-up Holden Caulfield with a jump shot, and the closest thing basketball ever had to a poet laureate....

49ers' Lack Of Failure Causing Crabtree To Sweat, Possibly Cave
"49ers players who spoke with Crabtree after the game detected anxiety on his part, and there's now a sense that he might be getting ready to take the offer that the 49ers have left on the table." [Pro Football Talk]...

Dude, You're Making Out With A Dude
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

The Best And Worst Shows Kids Force You To Watch
I'm booting up the new Deadspin Open Mailbag post tomorrow (be a part of it by emailing me here), so I thought I'd use today to give a little sneak preview....

Dear NBC, DIE
I hate you, NBC. I hate you so very much. All I wanted to do this weekend was enjoy some football....

Lenny Dykstra's Entire Career Is Now Up For Sale
The "Flying Higher" Kid is auctioning off pretty much every piece of memorabilia from his baseball career, including his 1986 World Series ring. I didn't notice exactly when it happened, but this story has officially crossed line into "sad." [NYDN/BusinessInsider]...

Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....

Chris Myers Compares Playing For Detroit To Dating Whoopi Goldberg
TMZ has the full quote from Myers, who tried to humorously correlate what it must be like for linebacker Larry Foote to go from the Super Bowl champion Steelers to the coldness of the D....

Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....

Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...

Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...

The Anti-Favre Debate Is Nothing But A Straw Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Everything's Cruder In Texas!
Thomas Jones is greeted with a friendly Texas welcome after arriving in Houston's end zone....

NFL Roundup: Jake The Mistake & More
Jake Delhomme's uncanny streak of failure continues. Brett Favre wins by making himself scarce. Plus more action from week one of tackle football......