no Page 5225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Did Jim Parque Do Wrong Again?
Former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque has a very lengthy mea culpa in the Chicago Sun-Times today, apologizing to his teammates, family, the entire sporting world, several deities, and his barber, because he took HGH for a month in 2003....

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

The Mets Shall Inherit The Earth
Courtesy of an astute Newsday reader comes a feapic of a certain Long Island church, which, apparently, is trying to poach congregants from New York sports talk radio shows. Blasphemy!...

Alex Rodriguez Learns Painful Lesson About Lending Out Your Car
A-Rod gave the keys to his Suburban to lady friend Kate Hudson and then her lady friend promptly smashed the hell out of it. Now he'll have to throw it away and buy a new one! [Celebrity-Gossip]...

<i>New York Post</i>: ESPN Made Us Exploit Naked Lady
The New York Post is taking their ESPN: The Banning like men. Men who use the gossip pages to settle grudges and blame everyone else for their obsession with naked sideline reporters....

Was Lance Armstrong Duped By A Cancer Fake?
Jonathan Jay White is a 15-year-old with brain cancer whose devotion to the Livestrong credo caught the attention of Lance Armstrong and several generous donors. The grifter who invented "Jonathan Jay White" will soon catch the attention of federal authorities....

Red Sox Trading For Players They Don't Even Want
The Red Sox, in full panic mode and mistakenly believing they were allowed a 45-man roster, are now collecting baseball players the way most people collect baseball cards: They don't have the space or use for them....

Seriously, Guys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Spectacularly Awful Beats Boringly Mediocre Every Time
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mike Vick Has Needs That Prison Couldn't Satisfy
What's the first thing Vick did after being released from prison? Hit a strip club with Allen Iverson on amateur night, of course. Being a free man ain't cheap. [TBL]...

Marvin Harrison's Accuser Shot Again, And What This Has To Do With Big Ben
A man who claims he was shot by Marvin Harrison last year was shot again. That's a nebulous sports connection, but you better believe it was on ESPN.com's front page today....

Manny Trolls The World
Manny held out of lineup on his bobblehead night. Fail, right? At least until his pinch-hit, eventual gamewinning grand slam. If not for the whole steroids thing, he'd be quite the marketable athlete. [MLB]...

Hey, Look At That
At 11:27 p.m., the World Wide Leader acknowledges Ben Roethlisberger's predicament...[ESPN]...

This Looks Like A Job For Rusty Kuntz
Padres' AAA affiliate looking to move. Is the world ready for the Beaverton Beavers? [Oregonian]...

Donnie Baseball Has One Screwed Up Family
Need some proof that class isn't genetic? Don Mattingly's son (far left, not a recent photo) was arrested after shoving his mother, then spitting on her. At least now he can inherit the "Hit Man" nickname?...

TebowGate Is Tearing The SEC Apart
Forget LeBron, forget Erin Andrews, the real sports mystery of our time is playing out in the SEC. Someone doesn't think Tim Tebow is the second coming. Don't worry, we'll sniff out the blasphemer....

ESPN Doles Out Swift Bristol Justice Over <em>New York Post</em>'s Erin Andrews Coverage
Norby Inc. pushed the red button on some innocent New York Post reporters after the paper went a little too titsy with its Andrews cover on Monday morning....

How EBaum Nation Beat TMZ At Its Own Game
So eBaum Nation got its hands on a nice, clear video of the disappointingly pedestrian Forbidden Dunk, and all TMZ got was some jittery cinéma vérité that might as well have been video of the Sasquatch. How'd that happen?...

A Completely Different (And Much Clearer) Version Of The LeBron Dunk
Suddenly, there's an epidemic of videos of "The Dunk." Different angle and less underwater-y. Where has this been all month? I wonder how much eBaum had to pay for theirs? [eBaum Nation]...

Mascot Intolerance Is A Shark Sandwich
It's 2009, and shark mascots still aren't permitted in a snooty British cricket club. Get PETA on the line — and dial the emergency number. It's urgent!...