nof Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Pandora's Box Of Doping Cases Is About To Be Opened
Ten years ago, the Spanish Guardia Civil raided the Madrid lab of Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes and discovered 211 bags of blood from athletes Fuentes had worked with. Fuentes has faced 10 years of legal trouble, and some athletes he worked with have received bans, but the massive stash of frozen, damning s...
LSU Baseball Game Interrupted By Baby Opossum
Saturday night’s Arkansas-LSU game suffered a marsupial delay in the seventh inning, as a baby opossum stormed the field and evaded capture by Razorbacks outfielders....
Just What The Hell Is Going On With Vincent D'Onofrio's Accent In This Pelé Movie?
Pelé—once an inspirational global icon as the widely recognized greatest soccer player of all time, now a smiling leathery husk dragged around the world for the enrichment of his handlers and the brands they license him to—has a movie coming out about his early life. From what we’ve seen in the trai...
Hahaha, What The Hell Kind Of Ingenious Rainbow Goal Is This?
This goal, scored by Ranger’s striker Kenny Miller, is crazy. The ball’s trajectory is less a dipping curler and more a meteor falling out of the sky and somehow landing in the side netting. It’s a curve you’d learn to plot in high school math class with your graphing calculator come to life. The go...
Don Mattingly's Marlins Take A Lesson From Mr. Burns And Ban Facial Hair
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made....
<i>Return Of The Jedi</i> Was Great, You Ewok-Slandering Fools
Earlier this week, the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer came out, and our own Albert Burneko took a moment to express a bit of perfectly warranted skepticism about its prospects. HOWEVER, Bert’s post was essentially a Trojan Horse for a lengthy revisionist diatribe on Return of the Jedi. ...
The PGA Is Harshing On The Best Hole In Golf
The 16th hole at the Phoenix Open has long been one of the most fun things in golf, owing entirely to the fact that its amphitheater-style gallery makes it a perfect place for fans to get loud and rowdy—like they would at a real sporting event!—but this year the PGA is trying to do away with some of...
Wladimir Klitschko Retains Heavyweight Belt With 5th-Round Pulev KO
Wladimir Klitschko's eight-year reign as the world heavyweight champion will continue after making easy work of previously-undefeated Kubrat Pulev in Hamburg tonight, winning with a fifth-round knockout....
The Immigrant Sport: What Ping-Pong Means In America
I am standing in a gaggle of table tennis players in a dark bar in Grand Rapids, Mich., on the Fourth of July. Before us, another table tennis player named Donald Hayes is playing Millipede. Donald and the others are all competing in the U.S. Open, the biggest ping-pong tournament in America, but ri...
Great Ape: <em>Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes</em>, Reviewed
Three years ago, expectations for Rise of the Planet of the Apes were understandably low. The director (Rupert Wyatt) wasn't well-known, a lot of people despised the film's star (James Franco) for his Renaissance Man routine, and we all remembered how terrible Tim Burton's 2001 Planet of the Apes...
Canada Destroys Kuwait In Under-19 Football, 91-0
Look at this photo of the Kuwait team before their first game in the International Federation of American Football tournament. So full of hope. Canada wrecked them, 91-0. Masakeen....
Australian Cricketer Suspended For Etching A Dick And Balls On Pitch
Australian cricketer Daniel Worrall found himself a little bored during a match last Friday. Suddenly struck by inspiration, he decided to draw the dick and balls you see above onto the pitch, an act of lewdness for which he has now been suspended. Where the hell is your sense of humor, Australian c...
19 People Who Should Have Been <em>SI's</em> 2013 Sportsman Of The Year
Sports Illustrated revealed its 2013 Sportsman of the Year today, giving the honor to Peyton Manning. We disagree with that choice. Here are 19 people who are more deserving....
Clippers TV Guy To Doc On Blake Griffin Foul Call: No Fuckin' Way
Clippers color man Michael Smith and head coach Doc Rivers shared a moment Monday evening during the LA's 137-118 victory over the Rockets. Before the end of the first half, Blake Griffin was called for an offensive foul as he tried to move past Aaron Brooks to the basket for what likely would have...
How To Make Beef Stroganoff, Which, Hey, Remember Beef Stroganoff?
Remember Beef Stroganoff? That gray mushroomy stuff your adult caregiver made a few times back when you were a kid, and then it vanished off the face of the earth, and then you completely forgot it existed, and now you're going, "Oh, yeah—Stroganoff! Whatever happened to that stuff?"...
NFL Could Consider Taking Away Touchdowns For Taunting
Golden Tate's wave goodbye made him either a hero or a villain, according to People Who Have Strong Opinions On Things Like This. (Personal opinion: There aren't many things in sports that matter less than one player taunting another.) But it sounds like there's a chance that the NFL could crack dow...
Gone Fishin' With Deion Sanders
Another good one for ya—Charlie Pierce's 2000 Esquire profile of Deion Sanders:...
Prosecutor From Sandusky Trial: Joe Paterno Not Involved In Cover-Up
Had he lived, would Joe Paterno have been charged with a crime for allegedly covering for Jerry Sandusky's serial sex crimes against children? One of the prosecutors who worked to convict Sandusky last summer said the answer is no....