north Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....

Story On Dean Smith's Failing Health May Give You Some Dust In Your Eye
"People close to the coach say his famous memory is slipping. On some days he doesn't recognize people he has known for years." [Fayetteville Observer]...

World Cup Open Thread: Portugal-Brazil; North Korea-Ivory Coast
A Kaka-free Brazil and Portugal play to see who wins the group while Ivory Coast and the Bad Korea play for third place. Comment about the action below....

Realistic Memphis Fan Resigned To His Fate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Defeated North Koreans Could Be Sent To Work In Coal Mines
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

North Korean Beatdown Broadcast Live To Confused Homeland
Emboldened by their soccer team's "triumph" over Brazil, North Korean state television actually allowed yesterday's "revenge" match against Portugal to be broadcast live to its citizens, many of whom may currently be wondering: "Is seven a lot of goals?"...

World Cup Open Thread: Portugal-North Korea
Apologies for the delay this morning. Portugal's up 1-0 in the muck at halftime at Green Point Stadium. Discuss below. UPDATE: North Korea heroically holds the Portuguese to fewer than eight goals, according to a Pyongyang news agency....

What Is North Korean Striker Jong Tae Sae Actually Crying About?
(Aside from Manute Bol.) Anyway, a headscratcher I've been puzzling over for a few days now: what's with sobbing guy on the North Korean national team? Guy has never even had to live in North Korea!...

North Korean News Agency Reports Brazil Match, Fails To Report Final Score
Unless you read it closely, the Korean News Service makes it appear that the DPRK won. And if you watched the official state television edited version, they probably did. [KNS]...

North Korean Soccer Fans Are Actually Chinese "Volunteers" (UPDATE)
North Korea's World Cup debut elicited touching stories about the ragtag group of soccer fans "hand-picked" by the Communist regime to support their squad in South Africa. Turns out they were hand-picked for their skill at not being Korean....

World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-North Korea
This one's not even going to be close, Brazil's going to show 'em what's what for kidnapping all those Japanese people....

North Korea Needs To Brush Up On The Rules Of Soccer
North Korea, also known as The Bad Korea, tried to pull a fast one on FIFA, listing one of their strikers as a goalkeeper, in essence gaining an extra roster spot. It didn't work....

North Korean Soccer Gear Is Must-Have Irony Of The Season
Your friend who always has to be "That Guy" is probably one of the many "collectors" searching for a DPRK soccer kit as we speak. Maybe you could score a game-worn in exchange for a loaf of bread. [WSJ]...

UNC Freshmen Start The Summer Off Right By Drinking On A Party Boat
Pictured is UNC freshmore John Henson with two girls who are likely in his statistics study group. At least they appear to be having as much — if not more — fun as stuntman-to-be Tyler Hansbrough. [COED Magazine, via]...

Wolpfack Typo Makes For Efic Pail
NC State issued their baseball media guide last week — then quickly took it down. Study it long enough, and you'll see why. Dyslexics of Raleigh...untie! [StateFansNation]...

Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...

Baby (Joe) Mauer Gets No Trade Clause From Seattle Family
In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer....

Kentucky's Future Lawyers Blow Off Class For Game, Get Called Out By Angry Dean
Northern Kentucky Law School held a mandatory "professionalism" lecture Thursday night, at the same time as UK's opening round game. The result: maybe not a lesson in professionalism, but certainly one in irony....

Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...

Rebels Try To Poach Panthers: Nothern Iowa-UNLV Open Thread (UPDATE)
Senior big man Jordan Egsleder leads his band of other people who look like they're from Iowa against Lon Kruger's Runnin' Rebels. Illinois and Atlanta Hawks fans, let your vitriol fly....