ns Page 1726 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cleveland Browns "Stunned" Johnny Manziel Likes To Party
Hey, The Browns? Can we chat for a second? Great. So, this isn't, like, a huge deal or anything, but I'm just a little concerned about you guys. I think we're all concerned about you guys. We're not trying to gang up on you or anything, it's just, some of the things we've been reading about you are ...
This Is What Your Legs Look Like After A Stage Of The Tour de France
Bartosz Huzarski posted this picture of his veiny-ass legs to Facebook after completing the 145 km 18th stage of the Tour de France. It is disgusting and these are the grossest legs we've seen since George Hincapie showed up with a mess of veins on his leg that looked like Santa Claus. ...
How To Make Chicken Salad The Star Of The Show, For Once
Your whole life, chicken salad has been there for you. When you had leftover chicken, drying out in the refrigerator, and no appetite for it, ol' chicken salad was there to make it interesting and appetizing again. Ol' reliable. Silent and steady and dependable. A closer....
I Do Not Believe Women Provoke Violence, Says Stephen A. Smith, Who Has Said Women Provoke Violence
Earlier today, ESPN's Stephen A. Smith went on television and suggested that women should make sure not to provoke men into beating them. This was not well-received, so he took to Twitter and basically repeated what he'd initially said. This went poorly. So, he tried to issue something resembling an...
Denver Sports Anchor Can't Help But Notice All This Alzheimer's
Here's 9NEWS Denver's Drew Soicher with maybe not the best lead-in to today's sports report: an Alzheimer's joke....
How <em>First Take</em> Poisoned ESPN
This is exactly what First Take was designed to do. That's not hyperbole. First Take's reason for existence is to reduce every subject, from the incredibly complex to the totally uncontroversial, down to a binary issue that can be debated. Is Tim Tebow a good quarterback? Is LeBron clutch? Should Ra...
ESPN Spent The Past 24 Hours Carrying Water For The NFL Over Ray Rice
On occasion, the invisible hand of the NFL taps ESPN on the shoulder and reminds the Worldwide Leader who really runs the show. We saw it with Playmakers. We saw it with the Frontline concussion documentary. More often than not, though, what you see is something like the video above, taken from the ...
Scarlett Johansson Enters The Matrix: <em>Lucy</em>, Reviewed
1. Lucy posits that if a person were able to somehow assess 100 percent of his or her brain capacity, he or she would be able to travel through time, from the Big Bang to the dinosaurs to the dawn of man to the end of the world, and gather all the wisdom from millennia and hand it over as a gift to ...
Dallas Keuchel Had The Perfect Comeback For A Heckler
This photo, taken by A's fan Nick Wong, shows the only response Astros pitcher Dallas Keuchel needed to shut down a good-natured heckler. You can tell a guy he sucks, but how much can he really suck if he's being paid to be where you spent money to get in?...
<em>First Take</em> Discusses A Woman's Responsibility To Avoid Being Beaten
First Take panelists Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless continued to discuss the Ray Rice suspension on this morning's episode, and Smith seized on the opportunity to say some deeply stupid things about the responsibility women have to not provoke men into violently attacking them....
The Latest From Steinski
Yeah, that Steinski. Here are two of his latest mixes for WFMU....
GM Gets Prostate Exam In Stadium, Sings "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
Andy Milovich, general manager of the Texas Rangers' Single-A affiliate Myrtle Beach Pelicans, took minor league baseball stunts to a whole new level. He got a prostate exam in front of the whole stadium at tonight's game against the Frederick Keys and did so during the seventh-inning stretch while ...
Ryan Raburn Defensive Meltdown Leads To Easiest Inside-The-Parker Ever
We've seen bad defense from Ryan Raburn before, but this is really something....
Nerds On <i>Teen Jeopardy</i> Save Sports Category For Last
"Pro Sports Teams" was a category on Teen Jeopardy this evening and none of the contestants wanted anything to do with it. The rest of the board slowly vanishes while the Sports column remains menacingly unselected. ...
Cop Gets Pushy With Rockies Bro; Rockies Bro Becomes American Hero
The temptation is to say there are no winners here, what with the cop getting needlessly pushy and the bro trying to summon James Madison from his grave with his slurring bluster about injustice. But you know what? Fuck this. We're on Team Bro here....
Chuck Knoblauch Charged With Assaulting Ex; HOF Induction Called Off
Chuck Knoblauch's induction into the Twins Hall of Fame has been canceled—not just postponed, but canceled, as in, he simply won't be put into the Twins Hall of Fame—after the former player was arrested and accused of beating up his ex-wife....
Rock Bland: <em>Hercules</em>, Reviewed
What makes Dwayne Johnson such an appealing movie star is that he's never seemed hung up on being a movie star. Not unlike Jason Statham, he has a twinkle in his eye that suggests he's having way more fun at his job than most of his action-hero brethren. That sense of fun (self-effacing withou...
How Do Other Notable NFL Suspensions Compare With Ray Rice's?
With news coming down that Ray Rice will be suspended a mere two games for knocking out his wife and then dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator, we figured it would be constructive to look back at the length and severity of other notable NFL suspensions from the past....